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DREAMS - Do you ever remember yours? Are they ever vivid enough to set the tone of a day for you?

I had some terrible and disturbing dreams before I woke up this morning and I am still on the verge of tears. I tend to hold things inside these days, at least the real serious stuff.  A lot has happened in my real life over the last year that I can't easily talk about.  The death of my mother was maybe the easiest I could.  

I usually cope pretty well, not letting things pull me down for any length of time, but now I wonder if putting a smile on my face every day isn't causing it to come out in my sleep.

I am actually baffled that I went to bed in a good mood and after having these dreams, I am completely bummed out, thinking of all the things that make me sad.

Anyone else?

Posted - October 14, 2016

Responses


  • 3375
    Well spoken Sharrona and I fully agree that there are things my mind I am trying to work out.  I'm isolated from the people I see in my dreams, so I know that working things out is going to have to come from within.  Not easy.  I am so used to being able to write an email or pick up a phone if something is bothering me.  

    I usually don't let dreams get to me like this one, but this touched on things that I really don't like thinking about at all.
      October 14, 2016 12:10 PM MDT
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  • 46117
    And that is why you are  thinking about them.  If you are scared and trying to just deny the feelings, they will come back 10-fold.  I agree with you that TIME is the big factor.  This stuff just happened to you recently and it IS shocking.  I am not trying to dismiss the weight of the pain you are trying not to be in.  

    I currently am in the worst place I have ever been in my life, if I let myself think like that.  Because I have done what I am telling you to try, my life is manageable.   Answers and possibilities come into plain view that I could not allow in my head because of all the fear taking over.

    I pray you get a lot of peace soon.  You can do it.  And WE ARE HERE for you.  We understand, all of us on here have gone through many trials.   I see that all the time. 

      October 14, 2016 12:16 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    Thank-you Sharonna.  I was really feeling so down this morning and just having a few good people I can share this with is making me feel better.

    I will be here for you as well.  It's tough being a "human" sometimes.  LOL
      October 14, 2016 1:23 PM MDT
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  • 1128
    Great comments
      October 14, 2016 1:40 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    Oh Pea, I'm so sorry for you. That you have gone through a tough part in your life. That you have felt the need to put on a smile each day, even if it wasn't there naturally. That you had to have such dream having you wake up another place in your mind than the positive mind you had when falling asleep. I don't recall my dreams as good as ever. My last dream I remember was in April 2015. I still remember the dream, and also what caused it. It was an awful dream about loss. I wish you all my best dear, and that you will get out stronger soon. In my heart and mind. 
      October 14, 2016 12:15 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    Well, I sure would never want you to think that I never turn to anyone for help.  I do.  I just never want to overstay my welcome so to speak.  

    I grew up with a lot of negative Nellies and I remember how much unnecessary drama and grief they added to the family.  I never want to do that.

    I suppose it's always a balancing act.  Stay strong, or finally break down and start letting it out.  Today I am letting some of it out.
      October 14, 2016 1:26 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    It is a balance, and no one says we should let it all out, or to everyone. I believe we are a lot alike in this respect. :-)
      October 14, 2016 1:52 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    Truth!  I know there is a limit to how much anyone really wants to hear your problems, especially if it's a long term situation that doesn't have a ready solution.  I do have wonderful friends that have been there for me any time I have needed them.  
      October 14, 2016 2:29 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    I'm glad you have such great friends. Doesn't hesitate making use of them as I know you're there for them too.
      October 14, 2016 2:41 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    I have a few wonderful online friends that I talk to every day.  But I was just saying to them that I realize I haven't been out socializing like I did before my mom died.  So just today, I got a hold of two of my friends I haven't seen in months and made a lunch date.  Good people around you does make a difference and I sometimes forget how much I need them.
      October 14, 2016 2:44 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    That sounds so wonderful. Good for you. :-)
      October 14, 2016 2:57 PM MDT
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  • 180

    Yes, I often remember my dreams, even some I had a very long time ago.  I've had dreams with a recurring theme throughout my life, and elusive as they are I do sometimes remember them in detail.  I have, also,  had disturbing dreams that left a pall over my whole day or even days.

    Before up I woke this morning, I was having a bizarre  dream that involved my not  long ago deceased brother. Although it wasn't particularly disturbing, it did  bring back the dealing with him being gone back, for awhile. 

    This post was edited by Piper at October 14, 2016 4:41 PM MDT
      October 14, 2016 1:55 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    I completely understand Piper, especially when you are living out situations with a deceased loved one.  My mother was in my dream, but it also involved a sibling that has been very distant since our mother died.  She was saying and doing horrible things in this dream and I woke up quite shaken up.  

    I know from what little you and I have shared in private, we have some of the same issues going on with grief and family discord.  It's very painful and there is not a lot you can get from people that don't have it to give.  

    I hope we both find some peace from our dreams and our real life situations.
      October 14, 2016 2:34 PM MDT
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  • 180

    I am very accustomed to having unsettling or disturbing dreams.  The really cool ones are almost as frequent, like flying in the moonlight, and the ones that convince me that  I really CAN levitate, if I just TRY hard enough. ;)  

    Most of the time, I am aware that my loved has died when I dream about them.  My mother just comes back, somehow.  Thanks Peas, I hope you find some peace in the situation you've shared with me, too.  I don't expect to,  but it is still something very hard to just let go of. 

      October 14, 2016 3:29 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    I too have many dreams of flying at night...usually in an airplane.  Interesting thing about those dreams; I had them even before I ever flew.  They are very cool dreams and I feel like I have done far more traveling than what I have done in reality.

    Interesting that I don't know my mother is dead in these dreams, yet when I lost my grandmother years ago, I always knew I was on "borrowed time" with her.  Of course I didn't have any family drama surrounding her death, just lots of grief.

    I believe there are just some things we have to learn to live with.  I used to think there was a solution to everything on some level.  I know better.  Time just softens the blow for some of it.  Other things actually feel worse with the passage of time; at least in the case of my siblings and how we are all separated from each other now.

    This post was edited by PeaPod is just popping by at October 14, 2016 4:42 PM MDT
      October 14, 2016 3:36 PM MDT
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  • 180

    That IS interesting, that your dreams of flying are usually in an airplane.  I've had some of those, but I first flew in one when I was very young. 

    I guess I stopped thinking there was a solution to everything long ago. Still, it doesn't stop me from hoping for one, many times. 

      October 14, 2016 4:32 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    I think it's only human to look to solve problems that aren't really solvable, or at least find a way to make peace with it.  

    I had another dream last night with my mother in it and again, I had no concept she was deceased.  I was quite angry with her too because she was demanding I fix her roof.  Yeh...way out there.  Typical dream.  Obviously, I am working out old issues I had with her when she was younger and not so approachable.  Frustrating.
      October 15, 2016 10:38 AM MDT
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  • 79
      October 17, 2016 5:44 PM MDT
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  • 3934
    Normally, I do not remember my dreams, and I've only remembered a handful of dreams past a day or two in my entire life.

    However, I happened to have an EXTREMELY frightenng nightmare last night which has left me a bit of my usual equilibrium today.
      October 14, 2016 2:12 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    No kidding.  I am glad then that I put this out there.  At least we can take a little comfort that we aren't alone with this today.
      October 14, 2016 2:35 PM MDT
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  • 46117
    You GOTTA tell me about it, you know. 
      October 14, 2016 2:43 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    See what I said to Piper.  That is part of it.  

    I also have an adult child with a lot of problems I can't fix.  

    It's just been a year of loss and sadness.
      October 14, 2016 2:46 PM MDT
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  • 46117
    Oh I TOTALLY understand Problems in Life Pea.   My heart is going out to you, I mean this.  My comment was meant for Old School.  

    Of course on this site you have to make that VERY apparent the way these answers fall in place. This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at October 14, 2016 4:43 PM MDT
      October 14, 2016 2:48 PM MDT
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  • 3375
    I believe you.  Thank-you...from the bottom of my heart.
      October 14, 2016 2:49 PM MDT
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  • 5455
    I remember at least one dream I had during the night.  They're usually weird.  I used to have really bad nightmares but I haven't had any in two years which is good.  When I was a teen I had a nightmare where I was fighting off something or someone and I was trying to hit whatever it was in the dream but I really hit my nightstand.  I fractured my wrist and sliced my hand open so my dad had to drive me to the hospital at 4:00 in the morning.

    It was usually the same nightmare over and over again.
      October 14, 2016 3:03 PM MDT
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