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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Can a person ever fix major trust issues?

Can a person ever fix major trust issues?

I have major trust issues for many good reasons.  People say "trust me" and I want to soo bad, I can see the word but it's on the other side of thick unbreakable plexiglass and I just can't touch it!  How can I actually fix this??  It ruins everything good...

Too serious for here??  Maybe but I'm lost.

Posted - January 1, 2017

Responses


  • 5614
    After trust is the word gamble.
      January 1, 2017 3:53 PM MST
    3

  • Yes, that's true 
      January 1, 2017 3:57 PM MST
    0

  • I can't answer, but I can relate.
      January 1, 2017 4:10 PM MST
    3

  • Thank you, I know there are a LOT of us out there.
      January 1, 2017 4:14 PM MST
    1

  • We all got are chit.
      January 1, 2017 4:22 PM MST
    2

  • True, well I don't want it anymore!
      January 1, 2017 4:33 PM MST
    1

  • I'm kinda same as you and have in past had a hard time letting people get too close emotionally :) I've found you  don't really have to completely trust anyone else....you just have to trust yourself to be able to handle the fact that some people ( no matter how fabulous they seem in the beginning) may eventually let you down and that's okay ...cos most people are flawed. Have a full life and don't place all your happiness on any one person's actions and you'll be alright no matter what. Will still hurt :/ but it won't break you . ...Then you can just have fun, open yourself up in the moment and not worry about all that other 'what if it all goes wrong one day ' shizit.... Cos I said so :)
      January 1, 2017 5:45 PM MST
    5

  • Wow you make very good points!  I will try to work on thinking like that.  Thank you :-*
      January 1, 2017 6:27 PM MST
    1

  • You're welcome :) I know that frame of mind won't work for everyone .... But it does works for me ... Good luck :) oh and this.... Also cos I said so .... Or Bob Marley did ;)
      January 1, 2017 7:04 PM MST
    2

  • I haven't seem this phrase before...wow very profound actually.  Hmmm  Thank you!
      January 1, 2017 7:17 PM MST
    1

  • You're welcome :) it's one my favourite quotes ..... That's small part of it ..... Read the whole quote online when you have times :)
      January 1, 2017 7:20 PM MST
    1

  • Thank you I think I will!
      January 1, 2017 7:24 PM MST
    1

  • 322
    Pointless me posting anything Jaimie, that is so well said. unfortunately it's life & it's the chances we have to take in the pursuit of happiness. I suppose the only thing we can do is assess our unfortunate experiences & try to learn something from them.

    Wishing you all the beat, sweet Priya  
      January 1, 2017 7:05 PM MST
    2

  • That wasn't pointless... well said too:)
      January 1, 2017 7:10 PM MST
    1

  • Totally agree!!!
      January 1, 2017 7:23 PM MST
    1

  • Thanks sweetie!!  Yes you're totally right and I have learned from so many other past experiences.  This lack of trust just has me stumped and is blocking me from going further to the level I need to be at.  Anyway.  Thank you!  xoxoxo
      January 1, 2017 7:19 PM MST
    0

  • 322
    Thank you to both of you, if this is an insight into your characters, then I think your both very sweet. 
      January 1, 2017 7:43 PM MST
    2

  • nice answer
      January 1, 2017 8:29 PM MST
    1

  • Thank you :)..... I can be serious sometimes :)
      January 1, 2017 8:44 PM MST
    3

  • You're welcome. Good to know. :) This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 1, 2017 8:54 PM MST
      January 1, 2017 8:48 PM MST
    1

  • 17261
    Made a search for trust issues, and found an interesting article. There will be several on the subject. This article pointed at four princples for enhancing trust in a close relationship.

    Four general principles for enhancing trust in a close relationship:

    Honesty and Integrity: Strive to be more honest and transparent in all your personal interactions. This requires taking the trouble to really know yourself and perhaps to face parts of your personality that may be unpleasant. However, this increased self-knowledge will enable you to gradually develop more trust in yourself and in your thoughts, feelings, and values. Living with integrity, according to your values and principles, makes you a person worthy of trust as well.

    Nondefensiveness: Learn to be less defensive in communicating with your partner: Being nondefensive means that you have a realistic view of yourself and your partner and are open to hearing feedback. Look for the kernel of truth in any feedback or criticism you receive from your partner. You may discover that you are overly sensitive to criticism about certain subjects, yet are open to discussing other subjects. In a long-term relationship, partners learn quickly which subjects are “taboo” and stop bringing them up in their conversations. However, this is precisely the kind of censorship that leads to mistrust and tension in a relationship.

    Understanding: Accept and appreciate the differences between you and your partner rather than allowing these differences to degenerate into disagreements that foster distrust. Mature love involves an appreciation and respect for the uniqueness of the other person. This means seeing your partner as a separate individual with his or her own opinions and views.

    Direct Communication: Become more aware of any discrepancies between your words and actions. This type of self-awareness enables partners to develop increased trust in each other. To enhance this mutual trust, partners also need to learn how to communicate their desires and wishes more directly. When people are straightforward in asking for what they want in an intimate relationship, they feel more vulnerable and open to both loving and being loved.

    Source: http://www.psychalive.org/trust-issues/


    Im not sure if it will be helpful, but the principles mentioned seems being central. How to deal with them might be very personal, and different. I've previously used reading and writing around bigger matters, latest about my sexualit. All my best for you, and I'm around if needed, Hun.
      January 1, 2017 11:22 PM MST
    1

  • Thank you!  It was a good read with some great tips.  I can always count on you to be a great fountain of knowledge, thank you.  xoxoxo
      January 2, 2017 12:05 AM MST
    1

  • 17261
    Any time for you, Hun. :-)
      January 2, 2017 12:09 AM MST
    1

  • 22891
    anything's possible but it probably depends on what happened
      January 2, 2017 2:59 PM MST
    2