In the spirit of engaging in reasoned debate.... I don't believe it IS fashionable to be a victim. Further, I don't believe that people *want* to be victims.. I also believe that in saying things like that we are guilty of trying to undermine the suffering of others.. it's a rather sweeping statement that seems in one swoop to band together everyone who has been a victim of some kind or other.. and seeks to dismiss and deny their pain and their suffering.. which when you look at it seems pretty insensitive.
So abused children, a boy of five who was raped every night by a house master in a boarding school should not allow himself or be allowed to have that pain acknowledged? A girl who was repeatedly raped and beaten by a step dad shouldn't be allowed to have her pain acknowledged? A woman raped, a man attacked with a broken glass bottle.. none of these people are entitled to suffer?
See with this kind of language we are, dismissing their suffering, that they have a right to have acknowledged.. and we don't have that right, I believe..
I also think that when we say things like that, we are motivated by our own either callousness or a need to have our consciences alleviated.. Of course it's uncomfortable to talk about and deal with child abuse and rape, of course it's not *pleasant* and we would perhaps rather all pretend it doesn't happen.. but this doesn't help those who have suffered... and it isn't fair because it further entrenches those who have suffered if they feel they cannot mention or discuss their suffering.
You listed real victims and their suffering and trials should never be dismissed. the culture of today seems to make everyone out to be a victim of something very slight and honestly it kinda denigrates the suffering of true victims of true abuse such as what you listed. There is this underlying sentiment with many, and it is growing it seems, that people want to identify with true victims and make stuff up to become one. It's insulting to people who have are actual victims of actual abuse.
I'm not denying there are victims of abuse, but people want to act like that guy having a nice house he worked for and me having a crappy house because that's all i can afford means I'm a victim. It's that kind of crap that is ruining it for real victims of real abuse.
Yes, you do have a point that when it's taken to the extreme where everyone is jumping on the bandwagon it devalues those who have genuinely suffered.
I liken it to ADHD, there was a time when everyone and anyone was being diagnosed with ADHD.. naughty kids, Oh they must have ADHD.. I note here all my kids have ADHD but it's NOT naughty kids... that devalues a very real condition.. So yes, it's a bit like that. Save the diagnosis of victim for those who have been truly a victim.
I was born in 80. I was a part of that generation were every annoying, bored, or adventurous child was in dire need of methylphenidate and amphetamine salts. In fact I was diagnosed with it at one time and then later on was diagnosed as not fitting the criteria by other doctors. Apparently the school couldn't understand why a child would be bored out of their mind listening to some old nun in front of chalk board and didn't enjoy going home after 8hrs. to go do 2hrs worth of homework before going to bed so they can get up and sit quietly in an uncomfortable as hell desk listening to some old nun drone on and on for 8hrs again. I just really hated and was bored by grammar school and would rather read books and encyclopedias instead of doing some boring homework and essays. ( man school sucked all the way around)
Yes that's pretty much it.. they diagnosed it so readily because that meant that they didn't have to look into WHY kids were bored and disaffected! In my kids cases they did and do really have ADHD but it didn't help them that at that time, 1990s that every kid who was bored, naughty or just didn't fit was diagnosed. Really not helpful.
I confess i rarely went to school.. shh don't tell anyone! I was bored by it... i set myself a challenge... i was in the top class but I wanted to see how much time off I could have and STILL keep up with the class... lol not smart
lol.. I was the same way. Teachers would get upset because I would miss homework and skip class. Still would ace the tests and answer the questions in class correctly. I'd get the " you should apply yourself and you'll get better grades". My answer always was that if I understand the coarse load, ace the tests, and answer correctly then the homework and class participation shouldn't hurt my grades as I don't need to be doing it.
This guy nails it. Especially about the writing assignments.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 7, 2017 3:02 PM MST
I haven't seen that trend here in Australia. If it is a trend, then I hope it never starts here. I would do my best to clear up the misconceptions at every opportunity, as you have here.
You left out the crucial part of your rant....;-D...
The irony is with your (unsupported by a scintilla of evidence) claim that everyone is claiming "victim" status (and benefitting from it) except Good Old Upstanding Self-Reliant You, you are, in essence, claiming to be a "victim" of victimization culture...;-D...
No, thank you. Been there: done that. Part of my therapeutic process involved learning to understand that I thought like a victim. To be a victim (unless we are talking about a random episode in adulthood) in most cases means learned helplessness. A victim believes that their emotions and misfortunes are the result of what others do to them, and it part it is true because victims have very poor, erratic, or non-existent boundaries. Learning how not to be a victim is about learning how to overcome the conditioning acquired in early childhood. It is a powerful process of recovery. There's nothing hip about it. It a necessity to move beyond survival to the ability to thrive and be a happy, mature, responsible adult.
In reality we are all victims of our surroundings, but I believe "product" is a better word. The word victim is too negative. Indeed, there are victims of natural disasters poverty not of their own making and despotic rulers. But most people aren't. We might be victims of our own stupidity...I know I am...but those were bad choices. I'll stop now as I am boring myself.
Product is an excellent word in this context: a simple result of cause and effect. We are not always able to cure ourselves. Much dependends on circumstances and coincidence as to whether we come in contact with, or discover, the means.
Social media brought this to us. People love to get online and write their faux stories of abuse......................it's easy because it's anonymous. Then stupids stand in line to boo boo them and give them advice and try to then share their own abusive experience. This pumps up the dopamine in the victims which creates a really nice experience. There you have. it. Stop pitying the fools and the number of them will decrease. Without that feedback being a victim is no fun at all.
Hmm. In my view this suggests that perhaps you have never been in the position of a victim, which would, of course, be a very good thing. However, if anyone looks up the USA official government crime statistics, or the statistical analyses of the cases of emergency medical wards, psychiatrists, psychologists, and socieologists, they can easily discover just how prevalent child abuse and domestic violence is. There is no country, no race, no class, and no religious or non-religious group which is free of it. It does get worse where drugs, alcohol abuse, and social stress factors are at their worst, but it is only a matter of degree.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 16, 2017 5:43 PM MST
Benedict Arnold 