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Discussion » Questions » Emotions » Hypothetical Q - Why would you allow yourself to fall in love if you knew that love won't win?

Hypothetical Q - Why would you allow yourself to fall in love if you knew that love won't win?

Posted - April 23, 2017

Responses


  • 52903
    In order to "get some".  



      April 23, 2017 11:04 PM MDT
    1

  • 7683
    Get some WHAT;))
      April 24, 2017 10:46 PM MDT
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  • 52903
    Yes. 
    ~
      April 24, 2017 10:47 PM MDT
    1

  • 7683
    ~~~~~~~~~~these;))
      April 24, 2017 10:54 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    Because the feeling is the strongest to be felt, even more than years of pain; it won't make me regret a deeply felt and shared love. Being aware there's more than one love, should make us not hold back. Did I tell I'm a believer of love? This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at April 24, 2017 10:42 PM MDT
      April 23, 2017 11:14 PM MDT
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  • 7683
    Ok, SapphicHeart, suppose you loved but knew it was futile then you surely know that pain and suffering will follow? How will your partner feel, being ditched in love, will you knowingly cause agony, you won't, I know you, where's the point in letting it blossom when you know it is going to wither away? i  would never cause pain in love;))
      April 24, 2017 10:46 PM MDT
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  • 17261
    Love will be bigger than pain, if it is love... and not just a crush. There will be huge difference.  
      April 24, 2017 11:58 PM MDT
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  • 16197
    29 years, almost 28 of them married - I haven't lost yet This post was edited by Slartibartfast at June 20, 2017 6:01 AM MDT
      April 23, 2017 11:16 PM MDT
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  • Veena .. I think this is the wrong question ... I don't think anyone ever chooses to fall in love ... It just happens .. be it real love, an infatuation or a crush .. I don't believe there is a decision to be made here.
    It's what you decide to do next that you"may" have some control over... And I use the word may with great caution.
    Despite your best efforts, acting foolishly is still high on the list of possible outcomes.
      April 23, 2017 11:46 PM MDT
    6

  • As I have recently shown...
      April 24, 2017 3:14 AM MDT
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  • 7683
    I know love happens, I felt my heart flutter too, but knowing there was no future, I stopped it going further. I would never stride a path which has no goal. For me love means permanency, until death do us part..! Romancing for fun is not my cup of tea, I would have furthered the relationship only if I saw future in it, love can be on a platonic level too, I for one will never break a heart even if mine gets shattered..;)) This post was edited by Veena.K at June 20, 2017 6:01 AM MDT
      April 24, 2017 10:34 PM MDT
    1

  • 5614
    Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
      April 24, 2017 12:26 AM MDT
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  • 1268
    There is some truth there.
      April 24, 2017 3:44 AM MDT
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  • 7683
    Sounds poetic but my friend don't cause sorrow ...love is not a game!
      April 24, 2017 10:42 PM MDT
    0

  • 7919
    I disagree with Oz. You can choose to allow yourself or not. At least, some of us can. It may be something to do with prior wounds, I don't know, but there's a brief window at the start of something, and you can feel it coming. For me, the decision to love is a conscious one. Sometimes, I feel it coming and just let it happen... immersed in the moment. Other times, I have known. I have seen the end before the relationship began... I just knew. I knew it wouldn't stand a chance. We were too different. Worlds apart. And, I could have stopped it. I could have walked away before it took hold. I chose not to, knowing that it would end badly, simply because there couldn't possibly be any future. But, he was a "beautiful" creature. A brilliant mind. A huge heart. More passion for life than any man I'd ever known. He made me furious on more occasions than I can count, but it was that crazy all-consuming passion that made him irresistible at the same time. The same passion that I loved would also be the reason why we'd never work out. And I knew it. But, I had to love him because I knew I'd only get one chance to. The pain that I knew would come was nothing compared to the moments that we had. It was better than sticking your cup under every flavor at the soda fountain. Like grabbing every color of the rainbow and twisting it into one. Like ten shots of espresso at once. The speed of every race car on a track thrown together at once. And then nothing. It was done. Like it never was. Like he never was. Except for that one little part of me that I set aside for him.

    Why would a person fall in love knowing love won't win? Everything ends. If you feel something that amazing, even for a moment, and you've allowed yourself to feel it knowing the pain will come, love has won. You have to soak up those moments. They're fleeting. Knowing it will end makes you cherish it more. Appreciate it more. Maybe even allows you to love in a more intense way. When the pain of the loss fades, and you're still left with a smile because you had something beautiful, if only for a while, love has won. When you feel like you can love again because you can remember how sweet it can be, love has won.
      April 24, 2017 12:47 AM MDT
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  • Nice post and thanks for sharing :)
    On the choice to fall of not fall... I still feel my thoughts are valid.. You say early in the piece that you could feel it coming on... My point is you didn't make a decision to feel it, you just did.
    Maybe we're just talking semantics... :)
    But I'm a romantic... And I do believe the pain that may occur is a worthy price to pay.
      April 24, 2017 3:19 AM MDT
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  • 7919
    I don't know. I get that blossoming feeling a lot and I usually shut it off and walk away. Haha. It's not love yet, just the affection that could become love. On par with the love one would feel for a friend, but with a little bit of fire that you know will grow.

    We all love differently, though. And, shared love always takes on a personality of its own. 
      April 24, 2017 11:48 AM MDT
    2

  • 7683
    Yes, I did it too shut off that feeling and walk away;))
      April 24, 2017 10:38 PM MDT
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  • 7683
    I'm a hopeless romantic too...see my poetry isn't that proof enough? The pain if I'm bearing it,then it is ok,but if I make the guy bear it, thats not ok, I've seen girls trampling guys hearts..that is unforgivable Di;))
      April 24, 2017 10:40 PM MDT
    1

  • I agree ... Hearts are too precious to trample ... But I think that is often the price to pay ... There's was once a story I read, I don't think it's true but as an analogy ... About the Thorn Bird, who once having found its partner, you're too the Thorn Bush and drives itself on to the longest thorn, piercing it's heart... And in dying, sings it's sweetest song.
      April 24, 2017 11:56 PM MDT
    1

  • 1268
    So true that...Everything does end, at least as what we really know in the mortal world. Sad to say but growing old together with the person you fall in love with and dying together like in the movie The Notebook is probably the optimal situation we are talking about, and how damn sad was that ending?

     Thanks JustAsking, you really just helped remind me why I never want to love someone too much. :)

    Why do we even love? Wouldn't it be easier just to 'fall in hate' with someone so one could be happy when they were gone?
      April 24, 2017 3:54 AM MDT
    3

  • 6126
    LOL!  That would take the phrase, "dancing on someone's grave" to a whole new level!



    This post was edited by Harry at April 24, 2017 10:38 PM MDT
      April 24, 2017 4:43 AM MDT
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  • 1268
    I'm actually posting this as a question on the main page. :) I was busy writing my page long answer. :)
      April 24, 2017 5:12 AM MDT
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  • 7919
    lol That was not my point at all. The point was that when it's a beautiful story like the Notebook, it's so wonderful that the good will always outshine the sadder parts. Knowing it is worthwhile.
      April 24, 2017 11:55 AM MDT
    1