Active Now

Danilo_G
Zack
Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Is there anything wrong with wanting same sex friends but not opposite sex friends?

Is there anything wrong with wanting same sex friends but not opposite sex friends?

Posted - May 15, 2017

Responses


  • 745
    I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it, but you'll missing out on many experiences for limiting yourself to experience the world through the eyes of one gender. 
    Having friends of both genders allows you to explore different perspectives on life, relationships, meaning, and even friendship.

    Overall, though, I don't think it's about the gender of someone that should play a part in how much they qualify as a friend, it's more about who they are as an individual. Look at the person underneath, not their genitals.
      May 15, 2017 1:20 PM MDT
    3

  • Well, what if the only people I want for friends are other people who are exactly like me? And I don't WANT anyone's perspectives other than my own?
      June 5, 2017 1:22 AM MDT
    0

  • 745
    then you can stay in your bubble and create a couple of imaginary friends who will say and do whatever you will tell them to.. 
      June 5, 2017 9:40 PM MDT
    1

  • 22891
    i dont think so, im kind of like that myself
      May 15, 2017 1:35 PM MDT
    0

  • 52931
    Is there anything wrong with it as far as whose opinion?  I don't have a problem with it, do you?  Does someone else?  
    ~
      May 15, 2017 1:45 PM MDT
    1

  • Well, is there any law that says you have to have opposite sex friends?
      May 15, 2017 2:33 PM MDT
    1

  • 19942

    Of course there's no law that tells you with whom to be friends whether same or opposite sex.  However, I do agree with nobodylair.37 that you are confining your outlook to one specific set of eyes.

    This post was edited by SpunkySenior at May 15, 2017 8:46 PM MDT
      May 15, 2017 2:58 PM MDT
    1

  • Well, why shouldn't I confine myself to one specific set of eyes? This means that the one set of eyes is the correct point of view ans perspective to have, and any other is quite obviously the incorrect set of eyes.
      July 30, 2017 11:26 AM MDT
    1

  • 19942
    You've convinced me you're right.  Stick with people who only think your way.  You'll be much happier and so will the rest of us.
      July 30, 2017 7:13 PM MDT
    0

  • 6477
    No, not really anything wrong with it -  if that's what you like it's fine.  I guess we should be grateful that we have that choice... in some countries men and women aren't allowed to fraternise as friends.
      May 15, 2017 3:14 PM MDT
    1

  • Well how do I make same sex friends while avoiding opposite sex friends?
      May 15, 2017 4:14 PM MDT
    1

  • 52931


    I'm confused: I thought most of us learned how to make friends within the first five years of life. Not only that, the majority of our first friendships in life are same-sex. 

    Why is this so difficult for you to grasp?
    ~
      May 15, 2017 4:18 PM MDT
    0

  • Because I have Asperger's syndrome l, an autism spectrum disorde, and these things do not come naturally to me.
      May 15, 2017 4:30 PM MDT
    1

  • 52931

    That would explain it. I'm sure that it's not obvious to others that you have it, especially not on a one-dimensional website screen.

    If you attend therapy, do they suggest ways you can make friends?
    ~
      May 15, 2017 5:58 PM MDT
    1

  • They do. Mostly groups with others on the spectrum.
      May 15, 2017 7:59 PM MDT
    1

  • 52931

    I see. So you're most likely posting this question because whatever you've tried before isn't working at all, or or it used to but isn't working any more. Try something new, something different, something like this: for a moment, forget about the groups you already know about.  Think of two things you already love doing a whole lot, and two things you'd love to do but have never tried.  
    The first two could be a hobby, a family-oriented activity, pets, animal-watching,  a sport, an internet-related thing, something you collect, cooking, eating a particular kind of food, your favorite beverage, work-related, reading, sight-seeing, a place you like to visit, a favorite video game, a TV program, a movie genre, a community event that helps others, chores, anything.
    Then, instead of doing it by yourself or with people you already know, you're going to branch out to a different place, time and way to do it. If you do it at home, try it at someone else's home, at a park, a library, in the next city, the next county, etc. If you only do it on the weeknights, do it on a Saturday afternoon or a Sunday morning.  If it can't be done at night because of darkness, go to a well-lit place and do it anyway.  If it's usually done alone, invite one person to do it with you, and ask that person to also invite another person along. If it's something that costs a lot of money, try doing it some way that is free or nearly free. If it's already free, do it in a way that you have to spend some money. 
    Next, try to find someone who has NEVER done your favorite thing(s) and become their teacher. Or, find people who teach it and become their assistant.  Find someone who barely speaks English or is learning English and offer to help by involving him/her in your favorite activity. 

    Ok, that's enough homework for now, but it's just a start. 

    Be safe; don't go to any private place with a stranger or strangers. Stay in public settings with people around at the beginning until you know the people very well. Always let family or friends know exactly where youll be and who you're spending your time seeing. If plans change suddenly, don't make a move until you tell someone you know and trust. Never give anyone your private personal information, no identity information or financial information. Don't let people know how much money you have, either on your person, at your home or in the bank. Always have a way to get home if you're stranded, don't leave the arrangements up to someone you don't know. Remember, just because someone looks nice, acts nice, dresses nicely or treats you nicely doesn't mean he or she is truly nice. All people want to make a good impression in the beginning, but that impression might not be who he or she really is. 

    ~
      May 15, 2017 8:44 PM MDT
    3

  • 6477
    Ahhh I am familiar with that.. I did wonder if there was a specific reason why you were wanting to avoid opposite sex.   Makes sense now.. 
      May 16, 2017 8:46 AM MDT
    1

  • How exactly does my having Asperger's cause it to make more sense?
      May 18, 2017 4:39 PM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    LOL easy.. just talk to the preferred sex and not the other.. real, real, easy... I think we all naturally gravitate more to one sex.. so just don't cultivate or take up friendships with those of not the preferred sex... 

    Personally I prefer men as friends..  worked very well for me.. I find we compliment each other and I have had some truly awesome male friends.. but if I only wanted women friends then that's easy too.. just don't put in the effort if they aren't someone you want to become friends with.. in your case because they are the wrong sex... in other's cases cos they aren't someone you like or want to be friends with..
      May 15, 2017 4:18 PM MDT
    2

  • I guess I'm thinking what if someone tries to introduce me to someone of the opposite sec and I want to avoid all contact.
      May 15, 2017 4:32 PM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    well there is a world of difference between not having friends of the opposite sex and avoiding them..  we can all pick and choose who we are friends with.. and it's easy to avoid starting or building a friendship with someone you don't like.. but when it comes to avoiding all contact. .that would be difficult.. and would probably make difficulties for you too in your life..
      May 15, 2017 4:36 PM MDT
    1

  • 17398
    No.  It's not something you have to explain either.
      May 15, 2017 6:45 PM MDT
    1

  • 5614
    Something may be wrong with not wanting them.
      May 15, 2017 9:12 PM MDT
    1

  • 16239
    Not at all - and it could just be that you're not ready to experience that yet. Nobel Prize winner Paul Dirac also had Asperger's and was exceedingly awkward socially, more so with women than men - until he met Margit "Manci" Wigner.

    http://theconversation.com/the-life-changing-love-of-one-of-the-20th-centurys-greatest-physicists-51229
      May 15, 2017 11:09 PM MDT
    2