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Danilo_G
Element 99
Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Have you ever received feedback about yourself that seems way off? How do you account for this?

Have you ever received feedback about yourself that seems way off? How do you account for this?

Posted - February 22, 2020

Responses


  • 19942
    There have been replies to something I have commented upon alluding to my needing psychiatric help or that I have a mental illness (when I write something anti-Trump) which are far from accurate, especially since none of these people actually know me.  I give no worth to those comments.  
      February 22, 2020 10:35 AM MST
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  • 6477
    Ahh yes.. I think in those circumstances it isn't really about you.. it's an attack which serves to defend themselves.. It's, "I don't like what you are saying, but I have no reasonable way of dealing with that, so I am going to insult you... " - a manipulation which really isn't any reflection on ourselves. .
      February 22, 2020 12:35 PM MST
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  • 4631
    Exactly.
    Surprising how common that behaviour can be.

    An example.
    There's an older woman who is a fellow student in my Creative Writing course. We talked quite a lot before we realised that we're travelling divergent paths. She grew up with an abusive father and six bullying older brothers; she would never specify exactly what happened but it was clear that she'd been deeply traumatised. She hates and distrusts all men.
    One day, another student, a man, had an agreement to meet with her to discuss one of the tutorial topics. He turned up five minutes late. She treated him to a tirade on wasting her time, disrespect, misogyny, dishonesty, and lack of integrity and responsibility. He said, "I don't need this," and left. She spent the rest of the term sharing her outrage with the other students at every opportunity and trying to turn us against him.
    His reality. He'd been unavoidably delayed. She never gave him the chance to explain. He hadn't thought 5 minutes would make such a crucial difference and so hadn't thought to ring. His dachshund had escaped out the front gate; he had to catch her and lock her inside, to avoid the risk of being run over on the main road, before he could leave home.
    Both are old enough to remember the days before mobile phones. This post was edited by inky at February 22, 2020 4:55 PM MST
      February 22, 2020 2:02 PM MST
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  • 6477
    An interesting and thought-provoking story - thank you
      February 22, 2020 3:26 PM MST
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  • 19942
    Exactly. :)
      February 23, 2020 7:56 AM MST
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  • 4631
    First I double-check whether there is something in myself that I've overlooked or might be in denial about.
    If there's nothing, I check whether something I've done could have contributed to creating a false interpretation, perhaps based on the context. Maybe I phrased something the wrong way. Maybe something was ambiguous or unclear.

    If it's none of that, then it's their projection. It merely shows how he or she thinks.
      February 22, 2020 12:27 PM MST
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  • 6477
    Spot on.. we should always be open to the idea that we aren't willing to face things about ourselves that we should... but we also need to remember that we cannot always control other people's own hangups and thoughts..
      February 22, 2020 12:33 PM MST
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  • 32529
    I have had a few people on here call me a liberal. 
      February 22, 2020 1:43 PM MST
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  • 4631
    Compared to many conservatives, from my point of view, you are very liberal.
    I mean this not in the modern American sense, which means leftish in politics,
    but in the original sense of the word which means
    supporting freedom of speech and lifestyle providing it causes no harm to others.

    I get the sense that, as a devout Christian who supports a capitalist ethos, you support the idea of a functional public social safety net.
    I guess you would be strongly anti-racist
    and would support the idea of psychological checks before the granting of gun licenses
    and removal of licenses in the event of depression or any kind of psychotic episode or drug addiction. 
    I get the impression that, in the USA, these policies are usually considered liberal.


    This post was edited by inky at February 22, 2020 4:58 PM MST
      February 22, 2020 2:26 PM MST
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  • 32529
    The ones I am talking about meant leftist Dem (American liberal) not Classic Libertarian.

    I am a Christian. I do believe in the public safety net...with a work requirement. 

    I do not believe gov should be licensing guns.
    I do believe those with mental and/or drug issues should not be allowed to have guns. (Again I think everyone agrees with this)

    I do not view anti-racism as a liberal/conservative idea. Sadly, I have met racists on both sides of the aisle. (Majority were Dems...mad about Obama beating Hillary)
      February 22, 2020 4:58 PM MST
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  • 6477
    Tee hee yes, that's definitely way off :P
      February 23, 2020 9:12 AM MST
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  • 16197
    All the time. NPS is something we are scored on, and if I can't give someone a deal that simply isn't there, they blame me rather than the company. I've been called unhelpful, which is utter b.s., because I couldn't arrange to reconnect somebody's gas until after the weekend - this was at 8pm on Friday, and he'd been disconnected for not paying his bills.
      February 22, 2020 2:40 PM MST
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  • 6477
    Ahh that's a no-win situation! I do sometimes wonder whether all this appraising everyone over everything has gone too far... some people just use it as an excuse to whine about things
      February 22, 2020 3:28 PM MST
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