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Discussion » Questions » Emotions » Smile, though your heart is breaking... do you always put a brave front on when you are hurt?

Smile, though your heart is breaking... do you always put a brave front on when you are hurt?

Or do you feel free to show your emotions? 

Posted - September 11, 2020

Responses


  • 1340
    I guess I've been working more on not feeling hurt to begin with. When it does happen, I'll commonly just get very, very silent, until I'm alone.
      September 11, 2020 1:28 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    That sounds like sensible advice.. we should make sure we aren't being  over sensitive ... and taking things personally that we shouldn't..  But I guess that beyond that, if we are human then we care.. and if we care we run the risk of being hurt.. I guess it's better to care and get hurt than not to care? 
      September 11, 2020 2:38 PM MDT
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  • 1340
    I think so, yes. As per Tennyson's "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

    Although I do also believe in the possibility of caring without hurt -- or at least with full acceptance that pain is just the other side of the same coin.
      September 11, 2020 3:08 PM MDT
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  • 44173
    I actually don't agree with that.
      September 12, 2020 4:12 PM MDT
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  • 1340
    Feel free! Although, in a way, I had written three different things there, so with which do you disagree?
      September 13, 2020 3:53 AM MDT
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  • 44173
    Love lost is better than never loved.
      September 13, 2020 1:41 PM MDT
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  • 1340
    I didn't agree with that either when I first read Tennyson's line, even within the context of the poem (or eulogy, to a friend who had passed away). Perhaps you're thinking of something as a marriage breaking up in very bitter fashion -- a position in which I haven't been, although I have remained grateful for people with whom I eventually parted less amicably than I would have liked.

    The instance of stoic philosophy that most impressed me in those days was when one Roman thinker (I can't remember which, and by "those days" I don't mean to claim I was there with him) consoled his wife over the loss of their young child, by expressing how beautiful it was to have had that child. I later encountered something similar with Nisargadatta Maharaj. We receive certain people into our lives, not knowing how it will end or when, but loving them genuinely is an enrichment.

    (Now, in those cases where people go bonkers and do really destructive things to another, we might be talking about a different issue than love.)
      September 13, 2020 2:20 PM MDT
    2

  • 10029
    "We receive certain people into our lives, not knowing how it will end or when, but loving them genuinely is an enrichment."

    This made my heart skip a beat. Genuinely knowing and believing this is how we're able to go on loving at all. 

    Your entire reply here is, just,... wow. 
      September 13, 2020 2:32 PM MDT
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  • 1340
    Always nice to see you, Savvy; thanks. These are things that concern me regularly, and I do need to admit I have never had such great cause to grieve as would test whether I could effectively hold on to and apply those thoughts.

    I like how you put it: "this is how we're able to go on loving at all."
      September 13, 2020 2:39 PM MDT
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  • 10029
    Back at you, Danilo. 

    I suspect you'll be a fast learner. We're frequently reminded that there are peaks and valleys on this journey. The longer we have the honor of remaining on this part of the journey, the more lessons we have the opportunity to learn. 
      September 13, 2020 2:45 PM MDT
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  • 339
    Yes and no.

    I'm not a whiner when it comes to my own mistakes. But if I'm hurt because of someone else's bad behavior I don't suffer in silence. This post was edited by BetaLoon at September 12, 2020 4:12 PM MDT
      September 11, 2020 2:33 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    Excellent! Just how it should be.. if you don't tell them then they never have a chance to learn from their mistakes or to correct them 
      September 11, 2020 2:37 PM MDT
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  • 52903

     

      What is this strange word you’re using, “hurt”?  Gee, it seems somehow connected to another word I hear people using, “feelings”.  As I’m not familiar with either concept, I won’t be able to provide a viable answer, sorry.
    ~

      September 11, 2020 3:56 PM MDT
    7

  • 10029
    Someone needs to mansplain it to you. 
      September 11, 2020 6:32 PM MDT
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  • 52903

     

      I do much better listening to women. 


    ~

      September 11, 2020 8:54 PM MDT
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  • 10029
    Yes, I meant MY definition of mansplain. 
      September 12, 2020 7:18 AM MDT
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  • 52903

      I’ll be right over. (Remember, don’t tell Jane. Shhhhhh!)

    ~

      September 12, 2020 7:22 AM MDT
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  • 10029
    She's already here. We're planning and plotting. I'm trying to advocate against violence, but you better be careful. 
      September 12, 2020 7:32 AM MDT
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  • 52903

     

      Hey, wait . . .

    :[

      September 12, 2020 2:16 PM MDT
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  • 10029
    I like Danilo's reply. I'll second that. 
      September 11, 2020 6:34 PM MDT
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  • 16197
    I cried at my mother's funeral, and tear up whenever I hear the Seekers these days. I have no problem wearing my heart on my sleeve.
      September 11, 2020 9:56 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    There's mounting evidence that that's the most healthy way to be! Hiding feelings can lead to a lot of problems 
      September 12, 2020 1:54 PM MDT
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  • 7776
    Listen to this because it'll crack you up. I have a heart that will never heal. Yet, you would never know it just by looking at me. My punishment for being so weak? Living the slow painful death that I now am. This post was edited by Zack at September 13, 2020 5:23 PM MDT
      September 11, 2020 10:01 PM MDT
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  • 1340
    How is that weakness, Zack?
      September 12, 2020 4:11 AM MDT
    3