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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Even if you joke about your decision to marry, your spouse, married life, what are some truly positive things about it in your own life?

Even if you joke about your decision to marry, your spouse, married life, what are some truly positive things about it in your own life?

I joke around all the time about deciding to get married (I was 22 years old when I dreamed up that gem), about my wife, about being married, but in actuality, I really do know it’s been better for me than the life I was leading and would have continued to lead had I stayed single. Sure, in retrospect I can now see that I was way too young and definitely too immature to handle married life. At the time, I thought I knew everything.

One of the most glaring and truly positive things that marriage has meant in my life is that had I not settled down, I probably would have been dead from AIDS or some other STD by now. I was drilling anything in a skirt, as the saying goes, a true hit-and-run artist. I couldn’t have kept track with notches on the bedpost, because it would have been reduced to sawdust. Being faithful in marriage was already ingrained in me as a principle, so when I said, “I do” to her, it also meant “I don’t” to all others.

Posted - November 21


  • 5243
    Having my children made it worth every miserable year. 
      November 21, 2020 9:32 AM MST

  • 5210
    Someone to share your life with and enjoy each other's company. Embrace each other's families as your own. Someone to work on music and art projects with, travel with, and discuss history's mysteries of which there are many. This is just a small portion I look forward to. 

      November 21, 2020 11:34 AM MST

  • 7344
    I enjoyed the personal commentary that you included with your question.

    ( And for the following---I only have experience with heterosexual unions, so I can only speak from that perspective)

    For me personally, I have found that the commitment "for better or worse" is the greatest way of 1) fostering the love between a man and a woman and 2) allowing the maximum opportunity for the individual growth of both of us.

    It is that commitment to the marriage that is promised by "for better or worse" that provides the goal of and the subsequent environment for that growth.

    This post was edited by tom jackson at November 21, 2020 12:26 PM MST
      November 21, 2020 12:09 PM MST

  • 4347
    It settled me down.

    Ari and I dated for 19 years before he finally asked me to marry.

    Until then, both of us felt that the other didn't fully fulfil what we hoped for in a life partner. We just kept on keeping on being the best of good friends till one day it seemed like we were starting to get a bit old and it didn't look like any other prospective partner was likely to show up.

    It helped me enormously when we married because I shut down my mating radar.

    It amazing how much mental energy goes into hoping and dreaming about The One. Quite ridiculous when I look back on it. Worse - it never occured to me to be proactive in trying to find that person. I somehow just imagined that they'd turn up of their own accord and show an interest in me. Mad thinking.

    Anyway, after marrying, my mental energy poured into my work. It made me a much more productive person.
    The marriage took work too, as they all do, but we've managed to muddle through, and for the most part I'd call it happy. I'm glad, despite all the hiccups, that I accepted Ari's proposal. This post was edited by inky at November 22, 2020 5:38 PM MST
      November 22, 2020 3:27 PM MST