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Some people joke that the way to speak Spanish is to just put an “o” at the end of any English word.

 

  What are some ways that people who speak languages other than English joke about the English language, the way it’s spoken, the way it sounds, the pronunciation of words, the conjunction of verbs, etc.?

Posted - November 29, 2020

Responses


  • 4631
    English can be weird, though it can always be understood through tough thorough thought.
    ~
    English adjectives have to be in this order: opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose, Noun.
    So you can have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife.
    If you mess with this word order in the slightest you will sound like a maniac.
    It's an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out.
    And as size comes before colour, green great dragons can't exist.
    ~
    "I never said she stole my money" has seven different meanings depending on which word the speaker stresses.
    ~
    laid is pronounced like paid but not said
    and said is pronounced like bread but not bead
    and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead
    ~

    The Chaos

    Dearest creature in creation
    Studying English pronunciation,
       I will teach you in my verse
       Sounds like corpsecorpshorse and worse.

    I will keep you, Susybusy,
    Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
       Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
       Queer, fair seerhear my prayer.

    Pray, console your loving poet,
    Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
       Just compare hearthear and heard,
       Dies and dietlord and word.

    Sword and swardretain and Britain
    (Mind the latter how it's written).
       Made has not the sound of bade,
       Say-saidpay-paidlaid but plaid.

    Now I surely will not plague you
    With such words as vague and ague,
       But be careful how you speak,
       Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

    Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
    Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;
       Wovenovenhow and low,
       Scriptreceiptshoepoemtoe.

    Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
    Daughterlaughter and Terpsichore,
       Branch, ranch, measlestopsailsaisles,
       Missilessimilesreviles.

    Whollyhollysignalsigning,
    Sameexamining, but mining,
       Scholarvicar, and cigar,
       Solarmicawar and far.

    From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire",
    Lumberplumberbier, but brier,
       Topshambroughamrenown, but known,
       Knowledgedonelonegonenonetone,

    OneanemoneBalmoral,
    Kitchenlichenlaundrylaurel.
       GertrudeGermanwind and wind,
       Beau, kind, kindred, queuemankind,

    Tortoiseturquoisechamois-leather,
    Reading, Readingheathenheather.
       This phonetic labyrinth
       Gives mossgrossbrookbroochninthplinth.

    Have you ever yet endeavoured
    To pronounce revered and severed,
       Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
       Peter, petrol and patrol?

    Billet does not end like ballet;
    Bouquetwalletmalletchalet.
       Blood and flood are not like food,
       Nor is mould like should and would.

    Banquet is not nearly parquet,
    Which exactly rhymes with khaki.
       Discountviscountload and broad,
       Toward, to forward, to reward,

    Ricocheted and crochetingcroquet?
    Right! Your pronunciation's OK.
       Roundedwoundedgrieve and sieve,
       Friend and fiendalive and live.

    Is your r correct in higher?
    Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.
       Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
       Buoyantminute, but minute.

    Say abscission with precision,
    Now: position and transition;
       Would it tally with my rhyme
       If I mentioned paradigm?

    Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
    But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
       Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
       Rabies, but lullabies.

    Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
    Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
       You'll envelop lists, I hope,
       In a linen envelope.

    Would you like some more? You'll have it!
    Affidavit, David, davit.
       To abjure, to perjureSheik
       Does not sound like Czech but ache.

    Libertylibraryheave and heaven,
    Rachellochmoustacheeleven.
       We say hallowed, but allowed,
       Peopleleopardtowed but vowed.

    Mark the difference, moreover,
    Between moverploverDover.
       Leechesbreecheswiseprecise,
       Chalice, but police and lice,

    Camelconstableunstable,
    Principledisciplelabel.
       Petalpenal, and canal,
       Waitsurmiseplaitpromisepal,

    SuitsuiteruinCircuitconduit
    Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",
       But it is not hard to tell
       Why it's pallmall, but Pall Mall.

    Musclemusculargaoliron,
    Timberclimberbullionlion,
       Worm and stormchaisechaoschair,
       Senatorspectatormayor,

    Ivyprivyfamousclamour
    Has the a of drachm and hammer.
       Pussyhussy and possess,
       Desert, but desertaddress.

    Golfwolfcountenancelieutenants
    Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
       Courier, courtier, tombbombcomb,
       Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

    "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker",
    Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",
       Making, it is sad but true,
       In bravado, much ado.

    Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
    Neither does devour with clangour.
       Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
       Fontfrontwontwantgrand and grant.

    Arsenic, specific, scenic,
    Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
       Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
       Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

    Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
    Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
       MindMeandering but mean,
       Valentine and magazine.

    And I bet you, dear, a penny,
    You say mani-(fold) like many,
       Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
       Tier (one who ties), but tier.

    Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
    Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
       Prison, bison, treasure trove,
       Treason, hover, cover, cove,

    Perseverance, severanceRibald
    Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.
       Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
       Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

    Don't be down, my own, but rough it,
    And distinguish buffetbuffet;
       Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
       Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

    Say in sounds correct and sterling
    Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
       Evil, devil, mezzotint,
       Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

    Now you need not pay attention
    To such sounds as I don't mention,
       Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
       Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

    Nor are proper names included,
    Though I often heard, as you did,
       Funny rhymes to unicorn,
       Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

    No, my maiden, coy and comely,
    I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.
       No. Yet Froude compared with proud
       Is no better than McLeod.

    But mind trivial and vial,
    Tripod, menial, denial,
       Troll and trolleyrealm and ream,
       Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

    Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
    May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
       But you're not supposed to say
       Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

    Had this invalid invalid
    Worthless documents? How pallid,
       How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
       When for Portsmouth I had booked!

    Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
    Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
       Episodes, antipodes,
       Acquiesce, and obsequies.

    Please don't monkey with the geyser,
    Don't peel 'taters with my razor,
       Rather say in accents pure:
       Nature, stature and mature.

    Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
    Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
       Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
       Wan, sedan and artisan.

    The th will surely trouble you
    More than rch or w.
       Say then these phonetic gems:
       Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

    Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
    There are more but I forget 'em-
       Wait! I've got it: Anthony,
       Lighten your anxiety.

    The archaic word albeit
    Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;
       With and forthwith, one has voice,
       One has not, you make your choice.

    Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger;
    Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
       Realzealmauve, gauze and gauge,
       Marriagefoliagemirageage,

    Hero, heron, query, very,
    Parry, tarry fury, bury,
       Dostlostpost, and dothclothloth,
       JobJobblossombosomoath.

    Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
    Bowingbowing, banjo-tuners
       Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
       Puisnetruismuse, to use?

    Though the difference seems little,
    We say actual, but victual,
       SeatsweatchastecasteLeigheightheight,
       Putnutgranite, and unite.

    Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
    Feoffer does, and zephyrheifer.
       DullbullGeoffreyGeorgeatelate,
       Hintpintsenate, but sedate.

    GaelicArabicpacific,
    Scienceconsciencescientific;
       Tour, but our, dour, succourfour,
       Gasalas, and Arkansas.

    Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
    Next omit, which differs from it
       Bona fide, alibi
       Gyrate, dowry and awry.

    Seaideaguineaarea,
    PsalmMaria, but malaria.
       Youthsouthsoutherncleanse and clean,
       Doctrineturpentinemarine.

    Compare alien with Italian,
    Dandelion with battalion,
       Rally with allyyeaye,
       EyeIayayewheykeyquay!

    Say aver, but everfever,
    Neitherleisureskeinreceiver.
       Never guess-it is not safe,
       We say calvesvalveshalf, but Ralf.

    Starry, granarycanary,
    Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
       Face, but preface, then grimace,
       Phlegmphlegmaticassglassbass.

    Basslargetargetgingiveverging,
    Oughtoust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
       Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
       Do not rhyme with here but heir.

    Mind the o of off and often
    Which may be pronounced as orphan,
       With the sound of saw and sauce;
       Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

    Pudding, puddle, puttingPutting?
    Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
       Respite, spite, consent, resent.
       Liable, but Parliament.

    Seven is right, but so is even,
    HyphenroughennephewStephen,
       Monkeydonkeyclerk and jerk,
       Aspgraspwaspdemesnecorkwork.

    A of valour, vapid vapour,
    S of news (compare newspaper),
       G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
       I of antichrist and grist,

    Differ like diverse and divers,
    Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
       Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
       Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

    Pronunciation-think of Psyche!-
    Is a paling, stout and spiky.
       Won't it make you lose your wits
       Writing groats and saying "grits"?

    It's a dark abyss or tunnel
    Strewn with stones like rowlockgunwale,
       Islington, and Isle of Wight,
       Housewifeverdict and indict.

    Don't you think so, reader, rather,
    Saying latherbatherfather?
       Finally, which rhymes with enough,
       Thoughthroughboughcoughhoughsough, tough??

    Hiccough has the sound of sup...
    My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

                                   by Gerard Nolst Trenité, 1922

     

      November 30, 2020 8:20 AM MST
    2

  • 52905


     Yuve flored mee¡ Theyre  iz ansolootlee know weigh ewe donut dezirve azgers pik four thet !


    ~

     
      November 30, 2020 1:20 PM MST
    1

  • English-speaking people imitate Spanish by adding el to to front of English words and o to the end of English words. 

    Spanish-speaking people imitate English by adding ation or ing to the end of Spanish words.  They also insert the word cowboy somewhere into the sentence.

    This song was written by an Italian.  The lyrics are what English sounds like to him.



      November 30, 2020 9:58 PM MST
    1

  • 52905
    LOLing, I will be lLOLing, yes no I will be laughingation all hot dog nighting over this one! Thankationing you veryation muching, Martina! Cowboyation!



      November 30, 2020 11:56 PM MST
    1

  • That sounds like the sentence Juan made in English class in Year 5 of elementary school, immediately before the teacher told him to leave the classroom and sit in the hall.
      December 1, 2020 12:23 AM MST
    1

  • 52905

     

      What a coincidence! I got kicked out of 5th grade Spanish class! I can’t remember what my transgression was, but I certainly wasn’t taking the class seriously, and I was joking around all the time. 

    ~

      December 1, 2020 6:31 AM MST
    0