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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Do you have any good jokes or cartoons about divorce that you'd like to share with us?

Do you have any good jokes or cartoons about divorce that you'd like to share with us?



Posted - October 18, 2017

Responses


  • 32527
    A married couple is driving down the 
    interstate doing 
    55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks  over at him and 
    says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, 
    but, I want a divorce." 
    The husband says nothing but slowly 
    increases speed to 60 mph. 

    She then says, "I don't want you to 
    try to talk me out of it, because 
    I've been having an affair with 
    your best friend, and he's a better 
    lover than you." 

    Again 
    the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his 
    hands on the wheels. 

    She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is 
    doing 70 mph. 

    She says, "I want the 
    kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until 
    he's up to 80 mph. 

    She says, "I want the car, the checking 
    account, and all the credit 
    cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass 
    piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?" 

    The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here." 

    She asks, "What's that?" 

    The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph,
    "I've got the airbag!" This post was edited by my2cents at October 18, 2017 6:54 PM MDT
      October 18, 2017 6:46 AM MDT
    4

  • 5354
      October 18, 2017 7:35 AM MDT
    3

  • 52903



    (She'll most likely get what she's asking for. Sigh.)


    ~
      October 18, 2017 5:32 PM MDT
    0

  • 32527
    Wife: I want a divorce for religious reasons.  He believes he is God and I don't. 
      October 18, 2017 7:38 AM MDT
    2

  • 46117
      October 18, 2017 9:49 AM MDT
    1

  • 52903


    Ouch!





      October 18, 2017 5:33 PM MDT
    0

  • 46117
    If I can't have him, no one can.
      October 18, 2017 7:57 PM MDT
    2

  • 13395
    Man and wife in divorce court fighting for custody of children.  Wife says 'I brought these children into the world so  they belong to me'.
    Man says 'suppose when I put a dollar into the machine and get a coke -does the coke belong to me or the machine'?
      October 18, 2017 10:06 AM MDT
    3

  • 9777
    Divorce Court Judge: How old are you and how long have you been married?
    Husband: 'm 106 and my wife is 103. We've been married for 85 years.
    Judge:  Why are you filing for divorce at this late date?
    Wife: We wanted to wait until the children died.
      October 18, 2017 4:32 PM MDT
    6

  • 5354
    Lovely
      October 18, 2017 6:41 PM MDT
    1

  • 394
      October 19, 2017 11:47 PM MDT
    3

  • 2500
    Remember, marriage is grand. On the other hand divorce is about 100 grand.
      October 20, 2017 12:15 AM MDT
    1