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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Can a woman harbour purely lustful feelings for a man or woman, or is emotional bonding a must before she may engage sexually with him/her?

Can a woman harbour purely lustful feelings for a man or woman, or is emotional bonding a must before she may engage sexually with him/her?

Posted - June 11, 2018

Responses


  • 17364
    Figuring that out is part of the game.
      June 11, 2018 5:58 PM MDT
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  • So do I take it that it's possible? It's an ongoing debate berween my wife and me. 
      June 11, 2018 6:01 PM MDT
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  • 32539
    If it were not possible there would be no such thing as a one night stand.
      June 11, 2018 6:35 PM MDT
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  • True. 
      June 11, 2018 6:56 PM MDT
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  • Of course it's possible.

    There is immense variety in human behaviour. Therefore it is always possible that a small proportion of people will be doing something that most people would rather avoid.

    Of 1000 young women, 660 reported having tried a one night stand. 81% reported that they didn't enjoy it and wouldn't do it again. For the remainder, the number of drop-outs increased with number of tries. Of course, more young, inexperienced women come of age, and the process repeats itself.

    So within the general population, the number of women willing to engage in casual sex is always far fewer than men - around 8 females to 1,000 males during the reproductive years, with far fewer women as they mature. 

    Gay men have much more fun because their levels of libido are roughly equal.

    One of the major reasons is that men who want casual sex don't think the woman's pleasure or satisfaction matters. His purpose is to use her for his own gratification. He does nothing that arouses or pleasures the woman. So naturally the woman doesn't enjoy it.

    1% of women genetically inherit a higher level of testosterone. 6-7 times the normal amount is the highest it ever gets, still far below the level of men. These women have higher libido, more initiative, are more muscular, stronger, quicker, more competitive, more willing to take risks, and tend to be attracted into sports and rise to the world's top. They are also more likely to be lesbians. For the few who are het, there's a chance that they might be more likely to enjoy casual sex, but I wouldn't bet on it.

    If you read the research by psychologists, you'll find answers collated from surveys, each of which is comprised of tens of thousands of questionaires demographically selected to accurately reflect the ages and relevant specifics of the general population.
    You can also find case studies on different types.



    This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at June 12, 2018 5:35 PM MDT
      June 11, 2018 9:06 PM MDT
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  • 44178
    I can only speak for myself, but paragraph five is not me.
      June 12, 2018 5:36 PM MDT
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  • 5354
    Agreed. Gettin the woman to orgasm is felt as a big trumph by many men.
      June 13, 2018 5:44 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Triumph. And thank God it is!
      June 13, 2018 6:41 AM MDT
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  • 5835
    Endless variety! 

    That's all I'm gonna say!
      June 12, 2018 12:22 AM MDT
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  • 5354
    With enough booze in her any woman will cooperate, or at least just lie there while you do your thing. This post was edited by JakobA the unAmerican. at June 12, 2018 5:36 PM MDT
      June 12, 2018 12:51 AM MDT
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  • I'm not so sure. It's probably the man who takes advantage of her state of intoxication. 

      June 12, 2018 1:46 AM MDT
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  • 5354
    You are right, but who cares as long as you get your rock off.
      June 12, 2018 2:17 AM MDT
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  • 666
    She has to consent.
    If she's too drunk I'm not sure but that could possibly be considered rape.
    You should be careful.
    Plus, having sex with a willing and coherent person is a lot better I'm sure.
    I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "With enough booze in her any woman will at least lay there while you do your thing."
    No offense to you and I'm not saying that you are a rapist, but the way that's worded SOUNDS like rape.

    This post was edited by Summer at June 12, 2018 6:42 PM MDT
      June 12, 2018 9:03 AM MDT
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  • If a woman is intoxicated she is not in her right mind and therefore not able to give consent.
    I believe most Western countries now accept that a woman must be conscious and in her right mind in order to be capable of consent.
    If she's not capable it is rape.
      June 12, 2018 9:24 AM MDT
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  • 666
    I think so too.
      June 12, 2018 9:35 AM MDT
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  • 666
    Depends how hot he is I guess?
    Or how drunk she is.

    Usually a woman needs to at least feel comfortable with a man before she'll sleep with him.
    She can lust after him and he just has to tell her what she wants to hear and wallah.
    However I had a friend in highschool who barely spoke a word.
    He was good looking and great at sports and at parties girls were all over him.
    He had no personality at that time and he didn't care about girls at all and he never had to try.
    They did all the work.
    So yes, women can lust after a guy and sleep with him without any emotional connection.
    I've seen it happen to my friend in the back seat of my car.

      June 12, 2018 1:01 AM MDT
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  • 16202
    Of course she can, especially when she's young, inexperienced and hormonally charged, just wanting to find out what all the  screaming is about. It's less likely as she gets older, but still possible. I'm certain that working girls don't establish an emotional connection with their clients, or at least very few.
      June 12, 2018 2:09 AM MDT
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  • Working girls don't feel lust. It's work. They use lube. And most are on heroine so they don't have to cope with the feelings.
      June 12, 2018 9:21 AM MDT
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  • 666
    "Working girl" could be defined in many ways these days.
    Are we just talking street prostitutes or dancers, escorts, porn stars, web cam girls, career gold diggers etc.
    It's big business these days and it reaches beyond drug addicted people on the streets.
    I'm sure some of the other types I've mentioned can feel lust and are not all on heroine.
    Some of these women on the internet doing their webcam shows make quite a good living off of their bodies and some even have their boyfriends involved and they know exactly what they're doing and seem pretty into it.
      June 12, 2018 9:44 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Heroin.  Per my experience those who are drug addicted are drawn into such work rather than the work drawing them onto heroin or other drugs.  And per my experience Summer is correct in saying that it reaches far beyond the streets and drug addiction.  Is a pretty easy and foolproof way of earning a living once a woman is able to get herself set up with a site, ads, pictures, recommendations, etc.  And yes many do feel lust and enjoy at least some of the time although please remember those who have to work regularly on a daily basis are not going to have the energy physically or emotionally for personal involvement. But yes involvement can and does happen. 
      June 12, 2018 7:43 PM MDT
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  • Oh.
    Well as far as I know, it's not big business here.
    Unless they live close to red-light districts in cities, mean have to travel quite long distances to get to where there are brothers, escort agencies or girls trading on the streets.
    I don't count web-cam or internet because there's no physical contact.

    Career gold diggers are a different matter also. There are probably a lot of women who do that. But the question above referred to one night stands and relationships based on lust. There is no lust involved when the woman is doing it for money or some other form of material gain. In that instance, she is performing a service. The man does not give her what she needs for pleasure. And probably all but young or inexperienced men know it.
      June 13, 2018 1:39 PM MDT
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  • 666
    No offense, but I feel that there is a whole world of adult entertainment out there that you may not be totally familiar with.
    Women these day know how to get off.
    They're not all victims in the adult industry.
    Some women even make porn.
    Times are changing.
    I just don't understand why some women refuse to admit that women like sex.
    Why is it so taboo?
    Why is there such a stigma around the idea that women are sexual beings who lust and act on their lust?
    They do, it's a fact.

    Is there something about admitting to being sexual that makes some women uncomfortable?
     Like why are we even having this debate?
    I haven't heard any evidence so far that would suggest that women are just these pure creatures that only have sex if they feel an emotional connection.
    That is fantasy!!!
    I swear.
    I used to think that way too, but the real world is different.
    Women are different.



      June 13, 2018 2:03 PM MDT
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  • 6098
    Not sure what "purely lustful" is.  Can lust be "pure"?  Don't know about that. But do we lust?  Yes we do.   Do we want the security of a long term close relationship?  Yes we do.  But we recognize, or we learn, that one won't necessarily be suitable for the other.  Sexual activity bad or good is quite bonding for most of us so we are vulnerable and need to be careful so we don't get into something that will not be good for us in the long run.  Or the short run!

    Emotional bonding speaks to our desire for security and comfort and stability so is very meaningful and when we find someone who is willing to bond with us of course we will favor and cultivate him.   For if we operate only by lust there is less chance of that and then we end up resenting him because we are not receiving all we expect from him. 

    Important I think to mention that we give ourselves not just out of lust or seeking security but for other reasons as well - through sympathy, in admiration, to encourage, comfort, etc.  Or to achieve something.  Or just the feeling of closeness to a warm body.   So if we choose to engage in what many people on this site like to term a "one night stand" can be for any of those and other reasons.  And the more quickly aroused and sexually sensitive of us can and do derive sexual enjoyment from such. But most of us need a continuing relationship, either close or casual,  where mutual adjustment takes place,  to realize the level of enjoyment we are capable of. 

    Once in a secure relationship a lot fewer of us will be willing to risk losing that that only for the illusive possibility of sexual enjoyment.  Yet attraction of various kinds still does take place so can be relatively easy for us to find ourselves growing closer to someone else especially when sex is great. Some of us do enjoy secondary sexual relationships within or in addition to our primary relationship and this is what many people refer to as "swinging" when it becomes a regular part of our lifestyle.  When there are enough women as well as men willing to risk their marital or relationship security and willing to confine themselves to primarily sexual secondary or brief relationships and make the most of them giving and receiving sexual enjoyment.   But which can become dangerous and destructive or even disastrous if feelings of emotional bonding and jealousy are not held carefully in check. 

    I look at lust and everything else I have mentioned as all being part of the broader and more basic pattern of ensuring human reproduction. 


      June 12, 2018 5:51 AM MDT
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  • 44178
    I'll just say what I always do. "Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex." Some here may dispute this for sake of argument knowing it is true for a high population. Unfortunately, I have not been able to do enough research to prove it.
      June 12, 2018 5:41 PM MDT
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