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I understand that counselling is considered more acceptable in the US? Is that right or do people still assume it's for people who are nuts?

Or in some way weak? Here in the UK things are changing but many still believe counselling is for those who are weak, or who don't have any friends, or who are a bit mad... 

Posted - July 18, 2018

Responses


  • 6477
    Hmm ok, that's about as far from the actual purpose of counselling as it's far to get. 
      July 19, 2018 1:43 AM MDT
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  • 5835
    Just one example of people not caring about what words actually mean. Consider public schools: juvenile crimes that used to call for severe paddling now get "counselling".
      July 19, 2018 6:14 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    And that's a bad thing? As far as I can see, this is nothing to do with words.. it's to do with a lot of people selectively forgetting how much many people suffered in the past.. we all have this rosy view of the past but in many ways it wasn't character building - it was plain cruel and damaging.. SO many people were damaged but had no means of sharing that.. People desperately unhappy, suffering but couldn't reveal it even to family.. 
      July 19, 2018 1:07 PM MDT
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  • 5835
    You and I are using the same words, but I don't think we are talking about the same thing.
      July 19, 2018 2:17 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    That's possible... I am a Brit and although we share an almost common language, how it is used sometimes differs. Am I right in thinking that you see counselling as a very bad alternative to walloping?
      July 19, 2018 2:26 PM MDT
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  • 5835
    There, you see? I did not say any such thing. I said that crimes formerly punished by physical pain ("walloping" or "paddling") are now punished by "counselling". I have no idea what this "counselling" is like. 
      July 19, 2018 8:22 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    lol there you see, I didn't say you DID say that.. I just asked if that's what you meant. And as to counselling, it's really not a punishment, the vast majority are there voluntarily - those who are not tend to be far more resistant to receiving help. 
      July 20, 2018 8:39 AM MDT
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  • 4631
    Counselling is not considered as an alternative to walloping, paddling or punishment.
    It is considered as a statistically more effective way of guiding a person back to better behavior.
    It does this by assisting the miscreant to develop better mental and social skills in order to better cope with the circumstances.
    In some circumstances, it may help the person to change lifestyle, end addictions, get new work, or leave the source of the things that create unbearable stress.

    Other forms of counselling often work as crisis management for dealing with issues like grief, trauma, job loss etc. Counselling is not an indication that someone is nuts or mad.
    Longer term deeper issues tend to be dealt with by psychologists. 
    Often this is the privilege of the middle and upper classes who can afford it.
    Really serious mental health issues like schizophrenia or bipolar disorders are usually dealt with by psychiatrists. This post was edited by inky at September 11, 2018 6:53 PM MDT
      September 11, 2018 6:47 PM MDT
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  • 52936

      Acceptable?  Yes. Effective?  Meh. 

    ~
      July 18, 2018 11:50 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    Cool cartoon.. though actually there is ample evidence to support the effectiveness of therapy... and way more than that in terms of anecdotal evidence 
      July 19, 2018 1:25 AM MDT
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  • "I think just getting involved in that line of thinking is a bit dodgy." Spending time worrying about whether your neighbor's life choices are socially acceptable or not. Seems non-productive to me.

    A person wouldn't expect to find a lot of wisdom in a Comedy film, but at 2:00 is probably one of the most profound bits of wisdom I've heard.




                        "You city-folk sure worry about a lot of sh*t, don't ya."
      July 19, 2018 12:09 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Hmm well maybe...but it really isn't about worrying about neighbour's life choices ... it's about worrying about your choices and more about whether you are happy and confident in trusting yourself to make choices.. believing in yourself.. and sadly a lot of people don't..and friends and family don't always encourage and nurture as much as they ought to..  Throughout history, probably since caveman times there are people who are called upon to listen.. .in relatively modern times we have priests, doctors etc.. people have always shared their problems.... 
      July 19, 2018 1:24 AM MDT
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  • "To listen" ... yes. That's it in a nutshell. My company sent me to one of those people.  After six visits, it became apparent that I might as well be talking to the wall and I told her if she didn't join the sessions, I wouldn't be back.
      July 19, 2018 3:37 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Sounds like she was not a good counsellor.. and that happens. There are useless doctors and accountants and lawyers for sure but there are good ones, or even great ones.. In counselling there are many different models and some of them, for example the psychodynamic model where the counsellor feels she is a blank screen and needs to just listen rather than reveal anything or engage... that definitely wouldn't suit some people, it wouldn't suit me.  You would have more than likely had a very different experience with a counsellor who practiced a different model. 
      July 19, 2018 3:49 AM MDT
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  • I'm glad we got that sorted. Cheers, mate!  :)
      July 19, 2018 4:05 AM MDT
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  • 16240
    I've had counselling. One in five people will suffer from some form of mental illness at some time in their life (mine was severe clinical depression, a common side-effect of chronic pain).
    It's no different from seeing a doctor if you have a fever. Sickness is sickness, so you get treatment from a practitioner who knows how to help you get well.
      July 19, 2018 2:55 AM MDT
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  • 6477
    Thank you.. that's exactly right.
      July 19, 2018 3:46 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    Not only acceptable but has been very big business I would say most of my life and I am 60.   Never thought in terms of the reasons you mention but can see how some people might have those views.  Guess I have always rejected it myself as just a potentially complicating factor when real life is hard enough.   And I have seen so many people involved with different kinds of counseling and therapy become so self-centered when I think we are selfish enough as it is we don't need to be any more so.  But can understand it could help people in various ways.  Though I am as suspicious of the business and money aspects of it as I would be of any other industry.  I guess I was brought up more that you just get yourself together when you are ready.  Which some people probably never do so counseling could be a help for them to do that.  As well as showing them how. 
      July 20, 2018 9:40 AM MDT
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  • 22891
    i think some people would still assume its for people that are nuts
      July 22, 2018 5:27 PM MDT
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  • 22891
    people could still assunne its for people that are nuts
      August 7, 2018 3:46 PM MDT
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  • 3684
    It's not the counselling but the admission of needing it, that people fear may be seen as weakness.

    One of my employers made a great virtue of its Occupational Health schemes including a lot of information about work-place stress and advice to speak to someone before it becomes a serious problem. It struck me that that is one area where sufferers may be afraid to admit struggling to cope with the stress lest it be seen as admitting inability to cope with the work. 

    As it happens I had to receive clinical-psychologist's help for mental problems arising from an intense period of stress, on top of a life-long mental fragility with which I can normally live. The cause of the stress? A cascade of bullying from high-up management down to shop-floor types like me, arising, with supreme irony, from a Health & Safety pogrom! 
      September 9, 2018 5:15 PM MDT
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  • 3684
    Adaydreambeliever -

       -  going back to your original question, your by-line is a good point, but as you say, things are changing, at least here in the UK.

    Mental illness of any sort used to be seen as somehow not respectable, or as a sign or failure or weakness - terms set by the critic's own definitions and criteria, of course. 

    We have a come a long way, but perhaps the general problem is how mental illnesses present themselves: either invisible, or as strange, possibly antisocial or even psychotic, behaviour. 

    I was diagnosed as mentally ill in some way when very young  - my NHS Records tantalisingly omit the symptoms and possible complaint - but given only sedatives, for a reason that these days looks very strange. The child-psychologist wrote that my "excitable mother" (his words!) seemed to blame herself, and he felt deterred from recommending the therapy he believed I needed. By the time I thought to obtain the records, my parents were both dead, so I could not challenge them on something I knew had happened but they never mentioned. Since that was c.1960 many parents in their position might have felt somehow guilty at having a son "not quite right in the head."

    Also of course, whatever is wrong had not yet been identified clinically, but I wonder if it is very mild autism or similar: it is a myth that one "grows out" of an autism-type condition, but if it is sufficiently mild, learns to cope with it and lead a reasonably "normal" life.


    You ask of American attitudes to it.

    For decades, we foreigners' view of the nation's attitude to psychological counselling was hardly helped by how many films and TV shows showed their home society. The drama needs the hyperbole, but also a credible background, so the characters were often good-looking, affluent types apparently in the grip of mental-health hypochondria, hence "needing" a tame therapist for themselves and to ensure their unfortunate off-spring were "well-adjusted" - whatever that meant. (I mentioned that phrase to a clinical psychologist counselling me, and he didn't recognise it, nor think much of it.)

    If that was a true reflection, perhaps it was a blend of two aspects. Firstly, over-reaction to a past in which both countries, and no doubt others, simply locked away the mentally ill in asylums, labelled people as "mentally defective" , and the like. Further, also a time of big strides in both physical and mental health care in the Western world, so it would be understandable if people wanted to latch onto the very latest in such care.
      September 12, 2018 5:49 AM MDT
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