Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» People want your opinion if and only if it is concordant with theirs. What is it they really want from you? Approval?
It seems many people who ask for an opinion really just want confirmation of their own. If one doesn't provide the answer they are expecting, they choose to be hurt and offended. Not everyone, I know blah blah blah. One should not ask how a certain article of clothing or a new hairstyle, makeup, shoes look on them, or any other opinion for that matter if one is not willing to accept potentially negative, different but honest opinions.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at December 11, 2018 4:20 AM MST
I've thought about that kind of thing lavender. There are ways to say the same thing and soften it. For instance when asked how someone looks in a new dress you could say "it makes you look huge" or you could say "I like your blue dress better because it really compliments your eyes" providing the person's eyes are blue. You can kinda deflect and substitute and you don't need to fib or tell a white lie. You never want to hurt someone's feelings though. In fact I'd far rather tell a "white" lie than hurt someone. I know it's kinda cowardly but I think how would I feel if I received that answer? We have a situation in our neighborhood. We are very good friends with one gal who lives with her adult son and another couple who live next door to her. The couple bake sweets and always bring some over to share with us. They are ALWAYS WAY TOO SWEET! Now we are both pre-diabetic so we told them we try to avoid sugar (which is true). They found out that he is pre-diabetic too so they switched to a fake sweetener. They assure us there is no sugar in it BUT it is still WAY TOO SWEET TO EAT. We always take a taste. But that's all we can handle. Now should we tell them it's way too sweet and please stop bringing any to us or just thank them, taste it and dump it? What would YOU do? It keeps happening and we are at a loss how to stop them from doing it without hurting their feelings. Thank you for your reply lavender! :)
My dad was diabetic, and their neighbors in the senior community my parents lived in at the time used to bring sweets for him over as well. My mom always politely accepted the treats, but she explained to them that my dad has diabetes, so she would give them to her daughter. It's not impolite in my opinion to not accept the sweets with the explanation that someone is pre-diabetic or diabetic. Those people may keep bringing sweets over if they are never told otherwise. It would seem a waste of time and energy to me to bake something for someone who is unable to enjoy it, and it would seem deceptive to not be truthful and just let them know. Hope that makes sense. I haven't had all of my coffee yet. :)
Benedict Arnold 