Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» Are your adult kids happy in their lives? Did they turn out to be what you hoped they'd be? Did you turn out the way your folks hoped?
Since all I hoped for is she would be happy and healthy, it is hard to be disappointed in her choices. She endlessly fascinates me as a fellow human being, a woman and a daughter. I have watched her grow and bloom into a thoughtful, loving woman. Who could hope for more than that?
She loves art and she has a very sweet nature. Much better than I could be in that category. She is more like her dad than me in that aspect. I treasure it. I hope I can become more like that as I GROW UP.
That is so beautiful Sharon and a great testament to you. After all you are the one who shaped her early on. You were her first teacher. Thank you for your reply and the darling graphic. Does she ever get on Answermug? She should read this. :)
I guess internet social sites are just not everyone's cuppa tea. I wouldn't ever have sought to be on one but when Rich became involved with Answerbag he invited me and Old School to drop by, check it out and see what it was all about. We did. We stayed. He moved on. I was never a joiner, always a loner. But what I discovered was that being on an internet social site gave me access to people whom I would have never met in my real life. I don't travel. Never got a passport. Never needed one. But I regularly chat with folks in Australia and England and Canada and all over the US and used to chat with a guy who lived in South Africa when I was on Answerbag and a guy who was born in Hawaii but moved to Japan. Someone from New Zealand was a monitor on Answerbag. Talked to folks in Denmark and France and Scotland. I mean that just is staggering to me and it is addictive. Thank you for your reply Sharon! :)
I have an amazing daughter, and I am not just saying that because I am her mom :) Strays and ferals seem to flock to her like she's Snow White, and she has often bought extra soup and coffee at Panera for the homeless. She has the biggest heart, and I adore her to pieces.
I believe my parents were/are happy with the choices I have made. I don't know if they had expectations that I never lived up to. I certainly never had that impression.
She does sound quite amazing lavender and of course much of the credit accrues to you. Her first teacher. Her first role model. You! Thank you for sharing that with us and Happy Monday to you m'dear! :)
Not being a mother, I cannot answer the first part of your question. As for me, being their only child I was brought up with a lot of love and affection, and I know they're very happy with the way I'm living my life, with one huge exception: I've chosen not to marry. This worries both of them a lot, for they know they won't be around forever, and every now and then they keep asking - almost begging - me to get married and settle down "while we're still alive" . After almost 20 years of the same cajoling talk, it's getting very irritating.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at December 24, 2018 4:39 AM MST
I think it's just that they don't want you to be alone Neelie. I mean we all want our children to love and be loved by others. It's a natural desire. You don't have to marry or be with a mate to live a good meaningful life. We are all wired differently and what works for me and is necessary may not work for you at all. I'm sure it's just love and concern that motivates them. I was alone from the time I was 40 to almost 60! I was happy and content and fine. Every so often I'd get a little tiny bit wistful when I'd had a wonderful day but no one with whom to share it. But I never felt cheated or sorry for myself at all. Then Jim just dropped into my life unexpectedly. So here I am at 81 happy and content living a good life with him. I have no doubt I'd be living a good life without him because that's my nature. I am optimistic and positive and ever appreciate and grateful for everything in my life and I have always been that way. So yes I would have been but it would be a different kind of happy. I'm sure my adult son was very happy when Jim found me because I think he was worried about me being alone. He stopped worrying 21 years ago! Thank you for your reply and Happy Monday! Maybe you can cut them some slack and try not to get irritated! :)
You're absolutely correct, Rosie; it's out of love and concern that my parents keep goading me to settle down with a nice caring man. But I have been living on my own for so long (since I was 25) that any companion becomes an intrusion in my personal space, physical as well as emotional. I can't bring myself to share my home with any other. My ex and I did try it out giving ourselves a three month trial period, but I couldn't take it more than a week. But who knows who might drop into my life in the future! Have a lovely Christmas, Rosie, with Jim and your family. God bless.
Thank you Neelie. I hope your Christmas was great and your New Year will be your best ever. In fact I hope that for all of us. Funny you should mention not wanting to share your home/space with anyone. I was alone for a couple of decades before Jim. My son liked Jim right away but he (my kid) thought I would screw it up intentionally because I had lived alone for so long on my own and was doing so well. But you see Jim and I are both Scorpios. I don't know how much if anything that has to do with it. Our birthdays are 6 days apart. My dad's birthday is the day before Jim's. My dad was a Scorpio too! Jim is also temperamentally very much like my dad and my son. They are all very calm patient caring and helpful. So maybe that's how I lucked out. I didn't screw it up. We've been together since September 1, 1997 and still going strong. I think my son realizes by now I won't screw it up! So maybe you will find some so similar to someone you adore too. But whatever awaits you I hope it is all good! Thank you for your reply and Happy Thursday Neelie! :)
My children turned out well...successful with incredible children of their own. My son has mental problems stemming from a brain surgery when he was eight, but he handling it well. Me...I had no father and my mother, although she did her best, really didn't raise us...she just pointed in two directions and told us to choose. I chose the good one.
Thank you for your heartwarming reply Ele. Sounds to me as if you had to be resourceful at a very early age and it was your intelligence that pointed you in the right direction. Your independence of mind and your ability to logically figure things out helped as well. That is priceless and whomever your dad is you have some of his genes and maybe that's what pulled you through so well. Of course you can't know that. It is unfortunate that your son had that kind of physical situation to deal with. It's very good that he handles it as best he can. I'm sure the people in his life are contributing factors. I was a "good" little girl. I never got into trouble because I was terrified of disappointing my parents. So I was afraid to be bad. My darling younger sister was never BAD but she was a handful and a challenge which I never was. It's just easier on me to do the right thing as I perceive it to be because that way I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder to see what's gaining on me. I expect you're the same way. Thank you for your thoughtful reply and Happy Monday! :)
My stepdaughters certainly are enjoying their lives. I don't have children of my own. My parents I guess wanted me to marry well and be respected in the community. Which I guess I have though took me over thirty years. Though in some ways I am not thought of as respectable at all. But I have been successful at work and I volunteer and sit two boards of directors as well as a town committee.
This post was edited by officegirl at December 27, 2018 5:57 AM MST
I think your accomplishments speak very well for you og. Do you think of yourself as respectable? Because isn't that all that really counts? You know yourself better than anyone. You know your intentions. Those in your life who love you will always give you the benefit of the doubt. That's what family and friends are supposed to do. You say your parents wanted you to "marry well". Financially secure? My parents just wanted me to be happy which I am. I hope you are happy too. Thank you for your reply and Happy Thursday to thee og! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at December 27, 2018 6:01 AM MST
WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH 