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Discussion » Questions » Beauty » Do you think TRUMP styles his own hair? Why don't they do stories about this important revelation?

Do you think TRUMP styles his own hair? Why don't they do stories about this important revelation?

To gaze upon Donald Trump’s hair is like trying to make sense of a particularly elaborate M.C. Escher drawing. Just when you think you’ve figured out how all of the straw-colored, gossamer strands fit together, he turns his head and you realize nothing is what it seems, reality is an illusion, and life is pointless. But now, we may finally know how Trump accomplishes this remarkable feat of engineering.

In an extract from his new book Fire and Fury: Inside Trump’s White House, published by New York Magazine on Wednesday, reporter Michael Wolff revealed that Trump’s styling secrets have been disclosed by none other than his most trusted confidante — his daughter Ivanka:

For Ivanka, it was all business — building the Trump brand, the presidential campaign, and now the White House. She treated her father with a degree of detachment, even irony, going so far as to make fun of his comb-over to others. She often described the mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate — a contained island after scalp-reduction ­surgery — surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the center and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray. The color, she would point out to comical effect, was from a product called Just for Men — the longer it was left on, the darker it got. Impatience resulted in Trump’s orange-blond hair color.

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So, it would seem the president’s hair is not, in fact, a toupee, nor is it an obedient Persian cat holding very still on the top of his head — it is real, human hair, manipulated into a shape that defies all earthly logic.

 
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Another Trump mystery solved. Now if only we knew why he drinks water like this.

 

Posted - March 9

Responses


  • 2859
    I suggest it might be the most strenuous thing Trump does all day. Certainly it would require some amount of effort, hair product and DENIAL. 

    All to the effect of appearing to have a dead lemur glued to his skull. 
      March 9, 2019 9:46 AM MST
    1

  • 31471
    I was a hairdresser way back when and I can tell you.  THERE IS NO WAY HE DOES THIS TO HIMSELF.  

    This takes a bad hairdresser.  You think he knows how to dye his hair and cut and shape this mess?  NO WAY.
      March 9, 2019 10:04 AM MST
    1

  • 2957
    This is hilarious! 

     nor is it an obedient Persian cat holding very still on the top of his head 

    My theory is that they sewed it on after the cranial surgery where they removed his brain and replace it with horse sh|t. 
      March 9, 2019 10:02 AM MST
    1

  • 31471
    Well that is the reason for the hair made of horse tail.  
      March 9, 2019 10:05 AM MST
    1

  • 21471
    no idea
      March 10, 2019 3:56 PM MDT
    0