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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » If you treat people as they treat you does that mean you are "holding a grudge" if they treat you very badly?

If you treat people as they treat you does that mean you are "holding a grudge" if they treat you very badly?

Should you treat people BETTER than they treat, the SAME or WORSE? Why?

Posted - March 24, 2019

Responses


  • 10449
    You have this backwards.  We should treat others AS we'd want then to treat us.  It starts with us, not with others.  In other words, we shouldn't wait for others to "treat" us first and THEN reciprocate.   

    Holding a grudge just because someone treated you badly isn't treating that person as you'd want them to treat you.  Would you want them holding a grudge against you?   Holding a grudge is like holding a lit match to a pile of kindling.  Grudges emit fumes of anger.  Anger is like oxygen to a fire, it helps that grudge to grow.  Soon the grudge ignites into resentment, and then resentment bursts forth into hatred, and hatred blazes into retribution, and retribution many times, burst forth in an inferno of violence.

    Most of us have a somewhat skewed view of ourselves.  We may see ourselves one way, while others might see us in another.  We might think that we'd love being treated in the same way we treat others, yet if we actually were we might not like it.  It's best to treat others better than we'd want then to treat us us.  
      March 24, 2019 3:33 PM MDT
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  • 113301
    You are minding your own business. Someone approaches you either on an internet social site OR in your real life and insults you. You react how? You didn't get a chance to "treat them as you wish to be treated". They did the treating first. So you are not the starter of an interaction, engagement or conversation. You are a receiver thereof. Your approach would be to "treat them as you wish to be treated" completely ignoring the fact that they insulted attacked you? Different strokes Shuhak. Thank you for your reply and Happy Monday to thy.
      March 25, 2019 1:19 AM MDT
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  • 10449
    Flip that scenario.  That would make you the one who insulted another.  Now, how would like that person to respond to you?  If you'd like them to respond with anger or even physical violence, then that's how you should respond to them. 

    It doesn't matter what the other person did first, the concept of "treat others as you want others to treat you" must start with you.  If they're an attacking, slandering jerk so be it.  It doesn't mean you have to be one too (by responding in the like).  
      March 25, 2019 10:20 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    I am always honest in my word and deed Shuhak. I react as I am wont to do in the moment. What you describe does not fit me in any way. I used to talk back. Now I simply move on without comment and ignore from then on. Of course I am speaking about this internet social site. I learned to ignore without reading or responding long ago on Answerbag. I figgered if I don't know about I can't get angry and waste time interacting with jerks. They reply and I don't care. If you are talking about a real-life person-to-person physical confrontation I have never experienced that so I have no idea how I would react. Never been in a fight. Never been punched or slapped or anything. Never had anyone come at me with a knife or point a gun at me. I refuse to treat others well who have treated me very badly. That means I don't mind being a punching bag or doormat. I do not suffer abuse well of any kind. Well the only kind I know is verbal and I can hold my own with anyone at any time for any reason verbally. The point is why should I waste time like that? So I don't. Thank you for your reply. I guess you turn the other cheek? I don't. It happens!  :)
      March 26, 2019 5:19 AM MDT
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