Active Now

Flint Ironstag
Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Over the past couple of years I have developed an extreme distaste for touching and being touched.

Over the past couple of years I have developed an extreme distaste for touching and being touched.

Do you think this might be common amongst us older folks?

Posted - June 11, 2019


  • 4134
    I feel sad hearing that.
    I've been through phases like that in the past - and I believe it develops through circumstances.
    One such is - the less we get touched the more hypersensitive we become to the slightest touch.
    - if the way our significant other touches us is routine, formulaic and insensitive - like quick, brusque pecks of kisses hello or goodbye.
    - strange men attempting to breathe on or touch up women in crowded commuting-hour public transport crushes.
    - doctors who have no idea how to be sensitive and gentle during internal exams.
    - nurses who think causing pain is a good sign because it means the nervous system is still working
    - men who crush the hand when shaking it because they want to impress with their strength and masculinity

    Pleasant touch requires finely tuned and intuitive sensitivity to the other - in other words, full attention and nothing less.

    If you can afford it, I recommend finding a very experienced Kahuna masseur and asking for a massage which is very gentle, non-sexual and communicating unconditional love. I guarantee it will leave you crying with joy and realising what you've been missing.

    Skin hunger is a need among humans - though we often suppress it.
    It's not necessarily sexual - more social, friendly and bonding - as between a parent and his or her newborn or small children.

    I know your circumstances are difficult, but they need not stop you from getting your basic needs fulfilled.

      June 11, 2019 6:18 PM MDT

  • 4450
    Sounds like you know yourself, know your needs and know where to go to get them satisfied.  
    Very rare indeed. 
      June 11, 2019 7:41 PM MDT

  • 5096
    Frankly, I still long to be touched.  No less than when I was young.
      June 11, 2019 6:27 PM MDT

  • 13110
    I am very picky about who I allow to touch me.  But I've been like that always....not the hug-everyone person.  I like human touch by those with permission.  Back in my twenties we were at the Sugar Bowl and while on Bourbon that night after the game  some guy came up behind me, picked me up, and started running.  That was a traumatic event for me.  It never even occurred to me that he might kidnap or hurt me.  He just put me down a few blocks later and kept running.  
      June 11, 2019 6:40 PM MDT

  • I'm surprised.

    Online at least you seem open and engaging. 

    If age has anything to do with it maybe its because you see yourself as more vulnerable physically.
      June 11, 2019 6:42 PM MDT

  • 5914
    Don't know. I am not quite your age and have not noticed that.  Never much cared for all the touching and hugging the likes of which seem to be the epitome for many people.  But I go along with them anyway just to be sociable.  Perhaps you are living in your own world which you do not want to be disturbed.  Or have became accustomed to going without physical contact over the years.  I hear from older men that their wives no longer like to be touched.  I touch lovers of course and do a little affectionate touching.  Also my husband and I take turns massaging one another which I love!  But do think many people over-emphasize the importance of touching - and it is sort of like they have to be touching or they can't feel you know? This post was edited by officegirl at June 12, 2019 7:06 AM MDT
      June 11, 2019 9:01 PM MDT

  • 6187
    I'm the same way.
      June 11, 2019 9:59 PM MDT

  • 9860
    No but I am a touchy, feely, person on the natch.
    I think it has the reverse effect on Don. He's always been a horn-dog and as we get older, he seems to want to make sure we can enjoy each other intimately as much as possible.
    He's going with the "I don't want to forget how," theory.  I'm going with the, "You won't and I know I won't. If you do, I'll remind you," comeback. ;) ;) No, we both are just as active as we were 26 years ago.  Maybe not as agile but that doesn't seem to be a problem. 
    We signed up for a yoga class that starts next month. 
      June 11, 2019 10:51 PM MDT

  • 3514
    I don't think I will ever not want physical affection.
      June 12, 2019 7:38 PM MDT