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Discussion » Questions » answerMug Members » Did we just lose another member because of a grammer obsession?

Did we just lose another member because of a grammer obsession?

This morning I noticed that one of my AM friends account disappeared . My guess is she left because her comments about someone's  grammar Nitpicking were deleted. Some of my comments were deleted too ( the ones that are sung to the tune of the Mighty Mouse theme song)  and I was told it was because it went against the sites posting with respect rule. The person I am talking about has replied to a hundred or so of my posts and all but one  of them was to Nitpick at the grammar mistakes - that might not be against the sites rules but it certainly isn't sociable. Anyway I hope that person comes back. Cheers!

Posted - July 28, 2019

Responses


  • 46117
    That person has a thin skin.

    CHEERS!


    P.s.  I am not trying to downplay how upset you and this person are.  I just know that people who leave cannot handle something that no one has any control over.  You either put up with the stuff you don't love or you go.  

    To me, I don't own this site, I could never own a site, because I could never control all the things I need to control to keep a site running.  The rules are there to keep the site running and the people running it are doing the best they can.  I don't think anyone is out to get anyone else as far as mods are concerned.  But they can only do so much.  We cannot just change things because people don't understand the why's and where's of everything in place.  To me it is like a home where I am not the owner.  I am a welcome guest and I appreciate that.  When they get out of hand, I YELL MY HEAD OFF and that has not happened in years.  

    So, I hope your friend comes back.  But she has to understand that this site is just like life.  Even when you go to work or drive or go to the store, there are rules in place we have to put up with.  That's the way it is. This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at July 28, 2019 8:49 PM MDT
      July 28, 2019 10:57 AM MDT
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  • 952
    This leaves me surprised!
      July 28, 2019 1:01 PM MDT
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  • 7919
    Our respect guidelines relate to making derogatory remarks about a person. You can't call someone names, attack their character, insinuate they're stupid, or make remarks about protected characteristics (hate speech) such as race, religion, gender, orientation, etc. 

    A misspelling or grammatical error in no way relates to the person posting it. Ergo, it is not subject to the respect guidelines. It might be different if the person correcting grammar or spelling did so while demeaning the person, calling them stupid, or similar. I don't believe I've ever seen that. The remarks I see don't even discuss the person at all. 
      July 28, 2019 3:24 PM MDT
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  • 10450
    Well the way I see it is there is also something wrong with a person doing nothing but pick out the mistakes on 99% of my posts as well as the post of other members - it doesn't really contribute anything to the question. Cheers! This post was edited by Just Asking at July 29, 2019 10:11 AM MDT
      July 28, 2019 4:19 PM MDT
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  • 52903

     Nanoose, you’re incorrect in stating that it’s all I do. It‘s something I do frequently, often, a lot, daily, etc., but it is far from the only thing that I do. If you’re going to point fingers, find fault, complain, or grouse, please at least be accurate.
      You’re entitled to your opinion about what I write, and you’re entitled to express your opinion. If you consider your opinion to be valid, and if you think it has merit, I wonder if you think the same way about my opinion. I do not think that grammatical errors contribute to this website, especially when the writer is apathetic about them, which is one of many reasons that I rebut them. I have never stated that any person has to heed me, has to correct the errors, has to write better or differently in the future. I have never written anything about your character, your personality, your intellect, your self-worth, your worthiness to humanity, etc.
      I have the choice to completely ignore typos. I choose not to. You have the choice to completely ignore me. You have not always chosen to do so.  You tried your little rhyming quip as some sort of jab at me, and as you can tell, it has not been effective in altering my behavior.  You jabbed at me, and when you posted yet another error, I responded in kind as to the error.  
      We each have the right to post, answer and comment as we see fit, and in accordance with site guidelines. If you or any other person leaves the site because of me, or claiming that it’s because of me, I have no compunction with such a decision; it neither gladdens me nor saddens me. Being subjected to fewer typos than more typos would be nice, but leaving the site is not a requirement for that to happen. There are enough offensive, hateful, cruel, mean-spirited, unkind, senseless, bad, wrong things written here daily that might make a person decide to leave. If you’re offended by what I write about grammar, you’re no better than I am when I’m offended by poor grammar.

      If grammar is the hill one chooses to die on, so be it. 
    ~
      July 28, 2019 5:03 PM MDT
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  • 44173
    You you didn't indent Nanoose in the first paragraph.
      July 28, 2019 6:13 PM MDT
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  • 52903

      I I didn’t didn’t? ?  Indentation indentation isn’t isn’t mandatory mandatory, man man.
    ~~
      July 28, 2019 9:31 PM MDT
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  • 7919
    There are a couple factors at play in your response.

    1) Communication is complex. It's influenced by both the person sending the message and the person receiving it. Personality, temperament, background, culture, environment, etc, all come into play in how we receive and send messages. Because of this, I think it's essential for people to be mindful of how they communicate and how the person on the other end of the computer will receive it. 

    2) We moderate for more universal signs of disrespect, such as name-calling and saying derogatory things about other members. We don't have control over someone's temperament or personality. If someone is sensitive, we can't cater to that or we'd be catering to thousands of variants of sensitivities. As someone recently pointed out to me, "respect" is subjective. We can't possibly moderate each and every thing someone might find disrespectful. Again, we focus on content that directly relates to the individual in a derogatory way.

    3) I think if people are upsetting others, they should take personal responsibility for that and be more mindful of how their communication efforts are being received, but if it's not a TOS violation, we, as moderators, must take a hands-off approach.

    4) There are lots of discussions that veer off course. I would wager to guess more than half the content uploaded to the site has nothing to do with the original question asked. Should the moderators really be deciding which answers have merit and which don't? Do you really want me being the judge, jury, and executioner when it comes to what's relevant? I'm certain even if you think you do, that would be unwise. The site would eventually shrivel up and die. There's be no diversity in response and people would stop engaging because they would never know if something would be deemed "worthy" by the moderation. 
      July 28, 2019 7:16 PM MDT
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  • It is my understanding that purposely following members around in order to argue with them is a form of harassment and is against TOS. I fail to see how this varies far from that.  I don't feel that Randy is stalking and he certainly hasn't solely focused on any one particular member, he is our lovable, resident, grammar-moderator at large.  If Nanoose did not mind him doing so then there would be no problem.  I personally have never been bothered by occasional grammar corrections.  It keeps me humble because I am often full of myself.  Some people however loathe such behavior and view it as antagonism.  It seems to me that if he has kindly and respectfully requested that Randy not do such, and it is obvious that it bothers him, then perhaps it might behoove Randy to cease doing so., out of respect for someone else's wishes if for no other reason.  This grammar battle is not mine but we all become irritated by things at times and to knowingly annoy someone is doing nothing more than attempting to incite problematic interactions and negativity.  Please understand, I like Randy, but I believe Nanoose is making it perfectly clear that he wishes Randy would stop.  Surely that carries some weight.  I can't help but think of how it might make someone feel who is not proficient in the language and inadvertently makes mistakes.  To them Randy's pet proclivity might actually be seen as besmirching their character, and publicly ridiculing  them.  At that point it is a form of mild harassment.  This is just my opinion and obviously it differs a bit from yours.  I simply offer it as food for thought.  I often post twink pictures around the site.  It probably grates on a few nerves at times, however I only do so as attachments to my own replies.  I don't seek out and watch people for chances to send them twink pics unsolicited out of context of the post.  Grammar corrections are not in context with the discussion unless the topic is grammar.  The intent whether intentional or unintentional could only be construed as trolling.  I'll say no more, bow out, and allow everyone to carry on.  Twinkle Dink has, without meaning to, given the impression that he actually cares all that much. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at July 28, 2019 9:09 PM MDT
      July 28, 2019 5:50 PM MDT
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  • 52903

      Thank you for your input, T.D.  As I have stated before, I respect your even-minded approach and your way of expressing yourself. Your words are diplomatic and intelligently delivered. 
    ~
      July 28, 2019 6:09 PM MDT
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  • Just so you know, Randy...I do like you.  Well, not in a Twinkle Dink sort of way.  LOL!  So, you can breathe a sigh of relief, but I do enjoy you here and you may correct my its vs. it's any time you wish.  I always get those wrong.
      July 28, 2019 6:13 PM MDT
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  • 7919
    This site is an open forum. Any member here has the right to engage with any post they wish unless they've been specifically instructed not to have contact with someone by the moderation team. The only time we do this is when we believe that someone is being harassed- we may tell that member he or she may no longer have contact with someone. Beyond those rare occasions, any post is fair game.

    If someone is following a member around purely to intimidate or be abusive toward someone, then yes, we may have a case for harassment, which is not allowed. In this case, we're talking about grammar corrections, which are not intended to abuse or intimidate and do not violate the TOS. In theory, it could still be harassment if this was legitimately the only interaction the individual had with someone and that individual was specifically targeting a member, but I don't believe that's the case here.

    As I said in my post to Nanoose, communication is complex. There are a myriad of things that someone might find bothersome that individuals should be mindful of as a common courtesy when they're communicating. I don't believe we can or should moderate for all the potential things that could bother someone though. 
      July 28, 2019 7:32 PM MDT
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  • 52903
    “Nitpick“ should be lowercase because it isn’t the first word at the beginning of the sentences. 

      July 28, 2019 4:39 PM MDT
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  • 10450
    So we may of lost a member and you only care about a lower and upper case mistake?
      July 28, 2019 4:57 PM MDT
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  • 52903

    may of may have 
      July 28, 2019 5:04 PM MDT
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  • 10450
    Nitpick much?
      July 28, 2019 5:07 PM MDT
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  • 52903
    The right word is the right word, the wrong word is the wrong word, simple as that. 


      July 28, 2019 5:15 PM MDT
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  • 52903

      1.  Just because I post about the grammar doesn’t denote that it’s the only thing I care about. It’s the first and foremost thing I care about. 

      2.  “We” may have lost a member, but that’s not the end of the world. People are free to join or leave this site as they see fit. Like I wrote above, if I am the cause or the “supposed“ cause, it neither gladdens me nor saddens me. I will neither beg anyone to stay here nor will I ask (or tell) anyone to leave. If people don’t like what I write and choose to leave, there’s the proverbial door. 

      3. For all of your protestations, I notice that you’re still here. I think that’s a plus. Good for you. 

    ~

      July 28, 2019 5:14 PM MDT
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  • 9777
    There will always be muggers who can annoy us. I don't see how the grammar police is any worse than the muggers who answer every question on every subject with a political rant, or post 'I don't know' over and over instead of skipping discussions where they have nothing to contribute, or  turn threads into sexual innuendos.  Maybe people leave because they can.  In most situations like work and family, we have to put up with these quirks. And BTW, you misspelled grammar in your question. :)
      July 28, 2019 6:19 PM MDT
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