Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Do you avoid comparing yourself with others? When you do compare.. what happens?

Do you avoid comparing yourself with others? When you do compare.. what happens?

Posted - August 19, 2019

Responses


  • 3523
    Hello DayDreamB.  As you may remember, I felt badly about myself because I did not go far academically.  When I read up on ACEs sufferers, I learned how rare it is for anyone to overcome so many disadvantages.  Knowing that my achievements were that rare for my statistical group helped me to feel much better about myself.  All in all, maybe I'm not just another brick in the wall.
      August 19, 2019 1:36 PM MDT
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    7268
    Regrets, lots of regrets.  I've never been able to provide for my family the way I should have.  Bad decisions, lots of them.  
      August 19, 2019 1:39 PM MDT
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  • 6477
    Sigh... yep.. I don't want to,  but I wonder where I went wrong..   I hope the feeling is only temporary.. I hope so for you too. Best really not to compare ourselves to others as we have had different circumstances, different problems, limitations, restrictions.. so in all we have probably done the best we could at any given time. This post was edited by Adaydreambeliever at August 19, 2019 1:42 PM MDT
      August 19, 2019 1:41 PM MDT
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  • 46117
    I either find myself wanting or superior.  That's why I never do something that basically I gave up in adolescence where it belongs.  We are all apples to oranges when we try to compare ourselves to another.  That just makes for a skewed viewpoint.  
      August 19, 2019 2:15 PM MDT
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  • 5391
    I think that we all subconsciously compare ourselves to other people. It gives us a social perspective. 

    It seems there is some unwritten societal etiquette that people who “have it better” than others are being rude to even declare it; i.e., I‘m better looking, or I‘m richer, or smarter, or superior at something; no matter how true it may be. 

    True or not, that commentary is seen as vain, or condescending, or just BS. (I think Mr Trump’s ceaseless self-promotion perfectly exemplifies why.) Surely, there is a reasonable limit to how much we can exalt our primacy. 
    When the comparison demonstrates a big disparity in our favor, in some circles it can create a hindrance to polite discourse, ...unless someone else makes the point for us.
    IMHO, many people aren’t sufficiently secure with their own lot in life. That’s really too bad. 

    Given this general reality, I find it wiser to not make such comparisons in mixed company. This post was edited by Don Barzini at August 20, 2019 1:29 PM MDT
      August 19, 2019 3:55 PM MDT
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  • When on the few occasions I do indulge in such folly,
    I often come away simply realizing
    how wonderful we all are in our own varied and spectacular ways.


    I don't look for perfection in myself or others.
    I just shine a light at whom I wish to study and watch prisms of colour cascade.

    From dark shades to bright tints we are all on a spectrum,
    and we are all a part of the whole of the rainbow.
      August 19, 2019 4:11 PM MDT
    0