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Discussion » Questions » Humor and Jokes » Why didn't Noah swat both mosquitoes when he had the chance?

Why didn't Noah swat both mosquitoes when he had the chance?

Posted - December 24, 2019


  • 4721

    Let‘s put that to bed, shall we? There are over 2700 species of mosquitoes, killing two would make no detectable difference. 

    Mosquitoes reproduce in...(wait for it)... water; given the unique overabundance of that in the mythical flood, what might we surmise about the mosquito population thereafter? 

      December 24, 2019 5:18 AM MST

  • 9221
    That there was a catastrophic flood in the Near East in late prehistory is almost undeniable, given the number of texts from the area and as far away as India that mention it. It was quite likely the sudden inundation of the fertile valley that is now the Black Sea - that was the whole world they knew. The tsunamis from that event would have lapped about the feet of Mt Ararat, so that fits too. Only the name of the protagonist changes - Noah, Sargon, Gilgamesh etc.
    Mosquitoes also reproduce in fresh, still water - water in a flood of those proportions would be moving rather violently and more than likely be salty.
    However, this question was once again a JOKE that got taken seriously :-(

      December 24, 2019 8:01 AM MST

  • 4721
    What we should not overlook is that the supposed source of the biblical flood was rain water, not a tsunami of briny ocean water, and that water supposedly took months to recede. More than enough time to breed. That said, an ancient flood of that area is certainly well-accounted, but of course it never happened as described in Genesis, nor could it. 

    While I get your joke, I no longer take the Noahide flood as a joke, because there are still untold millions of deluded adults who consider the event as historical fact, when it is clearly the most ridiculous of impossible fictions, and salient points to that end deserve to be aired as well This post was edited by Don Barzini at December 24, 2019 6:26 PM MST
      December 24, 2019 8:53 AM MST

  • 9221
    The Levite priests lifted that story lock, stock and barrel from the Epic of Gilgamesh. None of the Torah was written by Moses, who was too busy leading his wandering rabble to write anything - the sole possible exception being the Song of Miriam, nothing else in the books is that old. Genesis was set in its final form during the Babylonian exile.
      December 24, 2019 6:30 PM MST

  • 4721

    Indeed, and well said. 

    As far as Moses leading people out of anywhere, no evidence to support the so-called Exodus has ever been found despite numerous forays by biblical archaeologists known from the 19th century up until as recently as the 1970’s. 

    According to Israeli archaeologist, Ze’ev Herzog: The Israelites were never in Egypt; they never came from abroad. It is a later legendary reconstruction, made in the 7th century BCE, of a history that never happened. 

    With every reason to find artifacts to support their own native beliefs, the Archaeological Museum of Israel, unable to locate even one trace of a mass movement of humanity in the Sinai desert, after decades of searching, declared the historicity of the Exodus “dead”. It never happened. Moses, as presented in scripture is a (yet another) myth. Thus, the supposed covenant between two mythical characters, Moses and the God of Abraham, is also historically false.
    Lest we also cite the 10 Commandments, reputedly issued from the finger “of God”, to Moses, were plagiarized nearly verbatim from Spell 125 of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, written by polytheists in Egypt centuries before the alleged time of the Exodus.

    This post was edited by Don Barzini at December 24, 2019 10:57 PM MST
      December 24, 2019 10:26 PM MST

  • 9221
    The fact that the Hebrews actually HAVE that is evidence that they WERE there, as is the word "Hebrew" itself - derived from the Egyptian word for an uncultured barbarian - "he biru", roughly "cave man". Egypt declined prior to the time of the Kings of Judah, more than a few slaves escaped. They didn't record the enslavement of the Israelites as a group because they didn't see them as such - they were a single family, no more. A big family but not considered important enough to declare separately. Many nomadic groups have inhabited the Sinai peninsula since prehistory, those researchers couldn't have been looking very hard.
      December 25, 2019 1:36 AM MST

  • 4721

    History shows that several Egyptian Pharaohs, whose militaries were the greatest of their time, led incursions into areas around what became Palestine and the Middle East, waging wars on various tribes, all more primitive than the Egyptians, whose records boast of mass slaughters of these “barbarians”. This would also account for their derogatory references to the vanquished inhabitants of these areas.  It can also account for the vengeful nature of Hebrew scripture against the Egyptians, which (not coincidentally) single out Rameses the Great as the object of the fictional plagues of Moses (for which no account in Egyptian history exists). The illiterate Hebrews likely had no memory of lesser known Pharaohs. 

    But there is still no evidence ever recovered, presented, or otherwise surmised that delineates an Israelite population of any size ever having been in Egypt, much less any large group of them spending 40 years wandering about the Sinai. 
    To suggest that trained, professional archaeologists with every reason and intent to find the “title deeds” of their faith, whose teams spent over 20 fruitless years scouring the desert in that effort,  ”couldn’t have been looking very hard”, is just ludicrous.

    No documentation of these expeditions has ever discounted the presence of nomads in the Sinai, since clearly there were, at least up until the advent of petroleum being discovered there; but again, no direct evidence of any type specifically attributable to the accounts of the Hebrews in Exodus has been found. 

    This post was edited by Don Barzini at December 25, 2019 6:36 AM MST
      December 25, 2019 6:24 AM MST

  • 9221
    The key words are "specifically attributable to the accounts of the Hebrews in Exodus". Ever play Chinese whispers?
    The remnants of Egyptian language in Hebrew (via Aramaic), especially the hybridized Spell 125, indicates that they certainly were there, at least for long enough for fragments of speech and culture to be incorporated into their own. Slaves, again almost certainly, the Egyptians didn't keep vanquished peoples for any other reason than free labour. It would be well-nigh impossible to distinguish the artifacts of one wandering group of Sinai nomads from another, accepting that Exodus is at least wildly exaggerated. Less than a decade, no problem at all. Forty years didn't happen.
      December 25, 2019 7:09 AM MST

  • 46234
    Noah ws the first Sadomasochist.  

    How come we never hear about Noah's wife by the way?  Maybe Noah married an attractive gorilla while on board and thus the Trump lineage was created.

    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at December 24, 2019 8:08 AM MST
      December 24, 2019 8:04 AM MST

  • 13099
    The likeness is uncanny ,but why maline such harmless beautiful creatures with a Baffon on is a prottected species and the other is not... :(
      December 25, 2019 6:54 AM MST

  • 13099
    Because propper fly swatters hadn't been invented yet by our engeninerring Swats apart from some rough doodles  on their swatters
      December 25, 2019 7:28 AM MST