One for Welby: Is anyone ever to blame?

Taoism: Sh** happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, sh** happens.
Islam: When sh** happens, it is the will of Allah.
Buddhism: When sh** happens, it isn't really sh**.
Zen: What is the sound of sh** happening?
Catholicism: When sh**happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let sh** happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does sh** always happen to us?
Hinduism: This sh** has happened before.
Agnosticism: What is this sh**?
Atheism: I don't believe this sh**.
Hare Krishna: Sh** happens, rama rama ding dong.
TV Evangelism: Send more sh**!
Jehovah's Witness: Invite me into your home, and I will tell you why sh** happens.