Where can I get some knickers made of trash bags?

Try the Knicker store or the Knicker Emporium.

You are just the funniest person on the whooooole site. 

#seething with jealousy

Timothy. 

try the grocery store, or maybe a hardware store, if you need very sturdy ones.

Don't be tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous. You know what they say.

Wally-mart of course.

I might know a guy...