Follow these three NEVERS and you will be a huge success. NEVER APOLOGIZE NEVER EXPLAIN NEVER TELL THE TRUTH. The piece de resistance?

Always complain and be a "victim". That hooks people in and shackles them faster than anything.

Woe is me. They hate me. They are trying to destroy me. Woe is me. They hate me. They are trying to destroy me.

Woe is me. They hate me. They are trying to destroy me. Woe is me. They hate me. They are trying to destroy me.

Sigh. And the beat goes on. Never changing ever the same day after day after day after day after day....

Woe is me. They hate me. They are trying to destroy me. Woe is me. They hate me. They are trying to destroy me. Woe is me. Woe is me. Woe is me. me me me me me me me me me. Woe.