Some or maybe many have very narrow rigid boundaries set for them at birth by their "parents". They refuse to explore beyond them. WHY?

I have read that some parents were very cruel to their children during their formative years. Calling them "losers" even. Some sperm/egg donors were not meant to be parents but well biologically they are equipped for it much to the detriment of their progeny. These kids become self-conscious and believe there is nothing they can do right. Some of them overcome it but well I don't think I could have if I had the bad luck to have sperm/egg donors like that. My folks told me I could achieve anything I wanted to achieve providing I was willing to work hard for it. I did but it was easy for me because I LOVED SCHOOL! I LOVED LEARNING! I still do. It has been a great benefit to me all my life. I take no credit for it. It's in my DNA over which I have no control! But I thank my parents since it's all their fault! Thank you for your reply Durdle. Were your parents supportive of you? :)

My parents were supportive, yes,  but I didn't live up to their hopes! I was allegedly unusually intelligent (according to my medical records, but based on an artificial intelligence test of course), but I was always a slow learner and I didn't enjoy a lot of what we were taught at school.

The bad parents of the sort of you describe there I think are either ones who resent the very existence of their children or want their children to be mere tools for boosting their own (the parents') egos by reflected glory.  

I was a disappointment to mom. She expected great things of me. I skipped a few grades and loved school and always did well. But I have never been ambitious. Odd that I guess but I never was. i am not the least bit competitive. I just wanted to find a job I liked and I was quite lucky. The best job I ever had fell right into my lap with no effort on my part. A headhunter asked a gal with whom I'd worked if she could recommend anyone for this very good job he had to fill for a client and she recommended me. So out of the blue he called me to set up an appointment for an interview. But my mom would haved like me to be you know something hotsy totsy like a lawyer or doctor or something she could brag about. She was proud of me early on but I never met her expectations. I used to feel bad about that but when I turned 50 I let it all go. Thank you for your reply Durdle. I wonder how much other people's expectations shape us? I shall have to ask. :)

Thank you for your reply og. :)

Oh, yes, I agree;  but the problem inherent in Rosie's question is that of bullying, which can so destroy self-confidence the victim cannot throw off the oppression, whether passively accepting as unbreakable the boundaries created by the selfish parents, or resenting them and wanting to break free.

My parents never bullied me but they were disappointed in my life choices.  My mother especially as she wanted me to "marry well" which I did not do until nine years ago long after she (both of them) were gone.  I understand why they made the life choices they did but the options they provided for me were so few and ones I knew I could never succeed at the way I was. So I looked for something else.  

My parents were not disappointed with my choices, and in fact supported them, but with my choices failing! So was I.

My Dad was a BSc-holding, Chartered Electrical Engineer working as a scientist in the Civil Service but despite my being interested in some similarly technical career,  science and engineering are very mathematical and I am not.  Higher education - certainly university - would have been impossible for me.

My parents hoped I would marry, as my brother and sisters all have, but despite a few girl-friends marriage never happened.

Ah well, that's life.

Some of us can achieve what we set out to do, and though it might take considerable effort and dedication we have the innate ability for whatever it is.

Some of us can't, no matter how much we want it and how hard we try for it - we might be intelligent but just have no ability to learn anything beyond low or modest levels; nor indeed to manage other aspects of life, or to form relationships including marriage.

There's nothing anyone can do about low ability. It's as much human nature as the opposite, and the real ability needed then is to accept one's limits as natural, and to try not to envy friends with wonderful careers and happy families.

Encouragement and constructive help is fine, but trying to force anyone along a certain path or beyond his or her natural ability and wishes is cruel, stupid and selfish.