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Discussion » Questions » History » Neighbor helping neighbor. Was America ever a country where folks watched out for one another and helped out when needed? Fact or fantasy?
RosieG

Neighbor helping neighbor. Was America ever a country where folks watched out for one another and helped out when needed? Fact or fantasy?

Posted - October 27, 2016
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  • 7939
    I had a talk with another Mugger about this maybe a month ago. She and I are both from the midwest and moved west and we agreed on this concept. The midwest is still that way. People do look out for their neighbors. They help people when they're out and about. Out here, you don't see that as much, if at all. The western US tends to have more self-centered people.
      October 27, 2016 10:13 AM MDT
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  • 3934
    @JA -- I think the key you're looking for there is you MOVED West.

    The kind of societal infrastructures that lead to "neighbors helping neighbors" don't develop overnight. They take years, decades, or even centuries to take root.

    A lack of sense of community is an area where everyone moved from somewhere else in the past few years isn't a sign of self-centeredness, it's a sign of a natural human condition.
      October 27, 2016 10:25 AM MDT
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  • 7939

    I guess I didn't clarify. The other person and I both agreed that when we go home, people are nicer. I did a ton of traveling just before my mom's stroke and after. Almost every time, it was just me and my youngest two kids, who were 2 and 5. They might have been 1 and 4 when I started traveling a lot. As one can imagine, getting through airports with two small children, diaper bags, car seats, luggage, etc is not easy, plus my little guy was still at the stage where he wanted to be carried a lot. Traveling for pleasure was easier because we could do short jaunts at a time of day that was good for the kids. Dealing with all the travel after my mom's stroke was really hard on the kids. They were moody little beasts. (I say this affectionately. Kids are tough when they're tired and tired of being shifted around and staying in hotels and hospitals.)

    Just in these examples, the coast to coast difference in behaviors were very noticeable. Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois were mostly the areas I landed in. Out here, we were in California, Arizona, and Texas. Up north, regular people would open doors for me, offer to carry my bags, chat with my kids and play with them while we were out, exchange sympathetic glances when things weren't optimal. Out here, no. People would barrel past me, bump into us as they went, tisk at us, make huffing noises when we were too slow for them, or cross their arms and tap their feet with impatience. I was in the same situations repeatedly with the same kids and the way people treated us was totally different. No doubt, the people in the midwest wanted to get on with their days too, but rather than being impatient buttheads, they jumped in with a "How can I help?" attitude. 

    The person I was speaking with was a student. They travel back and forth- school in one area of the country, home in the other. They saw this too. Here and now.

    My current neighborhood is pretty awesome as well, but I live by people who all moved here from the midwest or the south. 

      October 27, 2016 11:48 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    Thank you for your reply JA and Happy Friday. I meant Americans looking out for Americans in the entire country, not just locally. I should made the question clearer. The Statue of Liberty implies that. Has America ever actually been that? Have we looked out for those who are strangers to us or only those whom we know? Have we ever been a welcoming country to those who wished to come here or have we always attacked "the other"...the Puerto Ricans, the Irish, the Chinese, the whomever? I'm just wonderin' if we ever were that place? When immigrants come here are they disappointed or joyful? Do we treat them as our own or as interlopers who don't belong here?
      October 28, 2016 3:25 AM MDT
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  • 3934
    Yes.

    Expecting an entire nation-state, especially one as large, diverse, and full of comparatively recent migrants as the United States, to have universal neighborliness is simply foolhardy.

    But there have always been pockets of neighborliness in America and elsewhere.
      October 27, 2016 10:29 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    I am foolhardy. Mahalo for your reply and Happy Friday OS.
      October 28, 2016 3:26 AM MDT
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  • Always has and I belive always will.  I would move if I felt I lived in a neighborhood that would not offer their support to anyone that lived there. 
      October 27, 2016 10:29 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    Is it just in your neighborhood Cruiser? Should we Americans treat all who come here the same? Should we be accepting and supportive and helpful to all or only  to those whom we know? I"m just wondering what the reality is compared to what people who come to America for a better life actually experience once they arrive. Thank you for your reply! :)
      October 28, 2016 3:27 AM MDT
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  • I sincerely believe my neighborhood is not the only one that supports thy neighbors.  I grew up in Chicago, now live in the burbs, have a lake house in Wisconsin where I have always felt secure knowing my neighbors are caring people.   Spent time this year at my moms house near Tampa where when she fell ill...so many neighbors were at her front door offering help and best part was food. 
      October 28, 2016 8:04 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    That is very nice to know Cruiser! You and Karen at least live in areas where people really and truly care about others. Comforting! Thank you for your reply! :)
      October 31, 2016 4:19 AM MDT
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  • 1523
    Sure.  In the old west neighbors helped one another when in need.
      October 27, 2016 11:10 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    What about in October 2016? Thank you for your reply MaCC and Happy Friday to thee! :)
      October 28, 2016 3:28 AM MDT
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  • Here in Nashville it's a way of life. Whenever a storm or tornado comes through and destroys a neighborhood, neighbors and others come and help those who have suffered a loss. When we had the great flood in 2010 and whole neighborhoods were destroyed, neighbors helped neighbors, most of Nashville jumped in and volunteered to help those who had lost everything. People were helping to clean and salvage what they could. We had several fundraisers for our co-workers who lost their homes or had damage done. We had about a dozen people at work who had suffered damage in one way or the other. We were able to raise enough to give each of them around $1,000. Three years ago when I moved into this apartment, the friends who were helping me had to leave when we got all my stuff here. One friend had to get the moving truck back and get back to work, the other friend had hurt her arm. All my stuff was laid out in the parking lot and I had no one except my daughter to help me take it all upstairs. I was in tears because I was so tired and most of my things were kinda heavy. Two of my new neighbors came to my rescue. They came and started taking my stuff upstairs and told me I was done and to not pick up another box or piece of furniture, they said they got this. So, in Nashville, neighbor helping neighbor is alive and kicking.  
      October 28, 2016 4:51 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    That is awesome Karen! Just like in the movies. When the barn burns down all the neighbors come together to build a new one. It's nice to know such people don't only exist in someone's imagination! Thank you for sharing that wonderful experience  with us. I appreciate it. Happy Monday m'dear! :) ((hugs))
      October 31, 2016 4:15 AM MDT
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  • 1326
    A part of the composite sign of the end of the system of things is that "the love of the greater number" would grow cold. (Matthew 24:12)
    There was a time i remember when people were more simple minded and cared more for each other.  
      November 8, 2016 9:34 PM MST
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