* Postcards from real estate dealers showing a nearby house that was sold recently (why on earth would I want a picture of someone else's house?). * Sheets of coupons for fast food restaurants (sealed so tightly that they have to be ripped to be opened.. so that's why there's a shortage of Gorilla Glue) * Mail from charities begging for money (sadly, they've stopped sending me nickels). * Mail from life insurance companies begging for money (do they realize how old I am?). * Ads from AARP telling me I'm old (Well, duh! I have a mirror). * Cards and letters from various companies who want to "protect my gutters from leaves" (Sorry guys, I don't need your protection. Any leaf that tries to mess with mygutters is gonna get blown away! I've got leaf blower and I know how to use it!).
