so folks, i dont care anymore .. ill do what i want even if they will arrest me to go to prison

SIgh.. that's really not very sensible of you :( you truly are your own worse enemy - instead of knuckling down and trying to fit in you are always trying to fight the system and yet you can never see you have done anything wrong.... I worry about you I really do....

You are unreaslistic ... no other country wants someone who has no job and who gets into trouble with the law.... 

I do wish you would see sense.. get a job or, as you say you can do your own business, do so...get somewhere to live...stop making it all harder for yourself..

No matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse. You just posted that you were given an opportunity by the police- they could have arrested you- they didn't. Your initial legal issue could have landed you in jail, but you got probation instead. You have been given opportunities. What will you do with them?

Unless you wind up in a situation under total surveillance, nobody is going to watch you take pills every day to make sure you really do it. But, you have been given the chance to get help... here in the states, you'd be spending hundreds if not thousands, of dollars per month on that kind of help. Many people would give just about anything to get mental health care and you have been given the opportunity to receive it free. What will you do with it? 

There are homeless shelters in your area that will help you get on your feet- a safe place to be. Warm, with food, and help finding a job. This is an opportunity waiting for you.

You've previously said that you're handed money every month by the government and are stockpiling it. Why? You are smart, savvy, and know how to get things done. You ran your own variant of an online business and you can again. Rent a room from someone or rent a storage facility and start again. You may have lost what you had, but you are healthy, young, and have time to rebuild. Why aren't you taking this opportunity? 

Your record will eventually be cleared and yet you seem to want to be arrested from not complying with the guidelines. Why aren't you grateful for the chance to start fresh? Take that opportunity. 

Right now, you're busy being angry at the world when you could be funneling that energy into building your enterprise and restarting your life. You could make your life something amazing. A home. Work for your hands to do. Unlimited income potential. The people who have wronged you- the best way to get retribution is to go forward and make something of yourself. Show the people who didn't support you what a strong, resourceful person you are and build the life that you deserve. 

You have options and you have opportunities to build the life you want. Don't sabotage yourself. 

That may be so, but you're willing to put a lifetime on the line over a few years. If you run and don't comply, that's not freedom. Either way, you're talking about trading a lifetime of hiding/ imprisonment/ a record over 5-10 years of playing ball with the law. Five years may seem like forever when you're young- heck, it's probably a quarter of your life or so, but when you're 30 and you've got 50 years of living ahead of you because you complied... that's not small either. 

I don't know your personal situation, but you undoubtedly feel pretty hopeless right now.  Please re-read what JA wrote.  She is right on the money with this and you really ARE blessed to still have a chance to turn it around.

I do speak from some experience with knowing some people and having family members that have been in your shoes.  The one guy I know used his brush with the law to turn his life around.  He is pretty certain he would have been dead had he NOT gone to jail and then got some real help coming out of the system.  He was set up with housing, counseling, and employment and best of all, he's well over a year sober since being out of jail.  Yes, he is still on probation, but the county he lives in placed him at the decent job he has.  It's truly inspiring to talk to him.

Please think twice about throwing your life away.  I know others who didn't use the opportunities given to them and they ended up dead and not before a lot of suffering inside and making their families suffer as well.

Good luck and don't give up.


This post was edited by PeaPod is just popping by at December 12, 2016 2:20 PM MST