Discussion»Questions»Relationships» Ever have a friend or family member with severe depression? How do/ did you cope with the impact it had on you and how'd you support them?
My mom. I tried very hard to cope with her depression. She was also bipolar . I spent many a night in my childhood hiding sharp objects when she would threaten suicide and saving my younger sister from her. she would do weird things like wake up in the middle of the night and start breaking all the dishes in our kitchen. I'd clean them up and get her to bed and try and make her feel okay. about 7 Years ago I cut her out of my life cos she lied to me and said she had cancer. I had lost the love of my life early in his life to cancer so that was just a lie I could not forgive... my mom died last year so at times I think maybe I should have tried harder to deal with her illness. But I think I delt with it the best I could...i think if you can't help someone and they break your soul you gotta walk away ... eventually. anyway I'm rambling ... Short answer ... You should try to help ... But you can't help someone who won't accept they need help .
I'm so sorry you had all that on your plate as a child. You sound very resilient, though and it's pretty huge that you seem to recognize the cause of the issues. So many people struggle and blame themselves, especially when they have to deal with it as a child.
I think you're giving wise advice here. Don't beat yourself up about the situation with your mom. You didn't know, and your own mental health has to come first, no matter how much you love the other person.
thank you :) I'm not beating myself up over it anymore . I tend to vent about things like this on sites cos I find it a good outlet and very therapeutic for me ... I sometimes need an outlet cos I can't vent all the time in my offline world cos I'm " so very put together" ... Little do they know ;) Yeah nah ... I'm not so much ... I doubt most people are though and that's okay :)
I think that you have to take care of your own mental health. You have to hold people accountable for their care/treatment and decisions (fine line between being supportive and enabling), don't allow yourself be mistreated on a consistent basis. And forgive yourself when you "lose your sh*t" and say things that you wish you wouldn't have. Find a support group if you can, too. I think they are incredibly helpful.
Another thing is to try to remember that as bad as you feel about their depression and the kind of behaviors that go along with that, the person with the illness actually feels 10 times worse.
"...as bad as you feel about their depression and the kind of behaviors that go along with that, the person with the illness actually feels 10 times worse."
Well said. The thing about the fine line was spot on too. Are there actually support groups for people with friends/ family who have clinical depression? If not, maybe I should make a Mug group for it.
My daughter. I have suffered for about one year of my life. I consider myself lucky and lucky to be alive because I really wanted to die every day of that.
My daughter is on medication, but she has really had some bad bouts. It seems that I have known a lot of people who have suffered from this. It is rampant in America.
Benedict Arnold 