P's can be either gay or het. 4 out of 10 girls are molested by a heterosesual male family member, friend, priest or similar. 1 out 10 boys is molested by a gay male in a trusted position.
When people are worried about the safety of children, they need to be far more concerned about any trusted male, irrespective of their sexuality, religion, or professed beliefs.
It is difficult to discuss issues like this on the main board due to the possible presence of young people.
If any young person reads this: if you ever feel uncomfortable with the inappropriate behaviour of an adult, including one whom you trust, please report it immediately to your doctor or school counsellor.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at December 25, 2016 6:20 PM MST
Yet another reason not to hide it. There needs to be more openness around this subject. My main issue here is though that some people make an equal about homosexualpity to be the same as child molesters and paedophiles. I am truly indignated by such hatred. :-/
I completely agree with you that hate speech of any kind is not acceptable.
The majority of people who are intolerant of homosexuality tend to be orthodox or fundamentalist in Judaism, Christianity or Islam. For them it is based on doctrine, coming from God's command to go forth and be fruitful. It is interpreted to mean that the only kind of sex that is sanctioned by God is sex between a married couple, male and female, for the purpose of having children. Even masturbation is considered a sin. These same people believe that all people should have the same faith and should conform to their ideas of right and wrong. For them, gay people should have no sex whatsoever. They tend to believe that any form of sin is inspired by Satan, and that therefore the sinner is evil. Since they are taught to hate all forms of evil, they quickly develop a hatred of anyone who is actively gay. Many of these people are unaware that gender orientation in varying degrees is present from an extremely young age, irrespective of environmental influences, and is fixed for life. It's very difficult to see how such people can be cured of their intolerance for homosexuality. But the unconditional love taught by Jesus should be enough to show them that the path of hatred is not OK.
In a tolerant society we allow freedom of speech and lifestyle so long as it does not impede the equal rights of others to the same. So the promoting of hate and the inspiring acts of hatred is illegal in Australia and many other countries. I hope that one day America will discover the benefits of being tougher on hate speech.
At lest here on aM, it's against the ToS and should be instantly flagged and reported.
Devout believers need to know that psychologists have proven that emotionally mature adults prefer mutually consenting relationships with equals, irrespective of gender preference.
Homosexuality has nothing inherently to do with any criminal activity.
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If talking about illegal paedolphilia, it is useful to be mindful of not knowing who one's audience is. I propose that specific types of abuse not be mentioned. Young people do not need to know and paedophiles should not be able to find stimuli.
My friend Dede has a husband who is a retired criminal psychologist. His expertise for thirty years was paedophilia. He did ground breaking academic research into all forms which is just now being prepared to be published on line - designed to be informative to other professionals in the field. I asked him a few questions about causes. He said that paedophiles are of different kinds. The worst are sociopaths with zero empathy. They have no conscience, feel no regrets and are not capable of being cured. The offenders who can be cured are those who, when the consequences of the harm they have done is pointed out to them, feel immediate and spontaneous remorse. Of these, some were victims of abuse as children. One distinct category, one third of all the perpetrators, had never been abused and were not psychotic; they were emotionally immature and weak men who had been suffering severe stress for several months. This last really shocked me - that men experiencing stress at work would seek stress relief at home in that way. But, it turned out, they were the ones least likely to ever commit the same offences again once their problems had been sorted out.
I don't believe in keeping all bad away from kids. We cannot isolate them in today's world. Instead of them painting their own, often wrong images inside their heads I prefer to talk with them about the risks in order for them to know and recognise risks. There are lots of ways to talk about these matters, and by an age of 14 it's about time, if they haven't already been exposed to these topics by friends, news, and the web/social media.
As for hate speech it's not what I consider freedom of speech but i come from different sets of values around this subject that the Americans as nation have been culturing. In my perspective there follows a responsibility with the freedom of speech, and that is not encouraging hatred against others. Hate speech can be as dangerous as weapons as it can cause violence Against others based on the words spread. It is rather scaring watching that video clip I included to the question. Fanaticism and extremism is dangerous no matter in what connection it is shown.
If I'm reading your statistics correctly, who are the other 6 girls molested by? And the other 9 boys? Or do your stats mean 40% of ALL girls and 10% of ALL boys? Or is there a third way to interpret your numbers? Thanks.
This post was edited by Louie at December 25, 2016 2:28 PM MST
to Louie -- It means that only 6 girls in 10 grow up never having been molested in any way, while 9 boys out of 10 grow up unmolested. Yes, my stats do mean 40% of all girls and 10% of all boys have been sexually abused. There is evidence that patterns of abuse vary greatly in other cultures. It is the West that is particularly sick in this regard. The stats came to me via my therapist who learned them during a specialised course in psychology at university. The statistics are based on crime statistics, reports from clients, and wide population surveys by sexologists. They include all forms of molestation from the most mild to the most serious. They include the full range because the mild is often grooming for the the more serious and because all forms negative effects for the victims. The only policy that works is zero tolerance.
Of course and gender so often shouldn't be the main issue.. abuse is abuse...and no excuses as a child cannot consent.. As you correctly say the majority is perpetuated by men, but it happens when women abuse too. I am not in any way condoning it but perhaps one of the main differences is that quite often the male underage victim will report that he enjoyed the experiences with an older woman - not in all cases for sure.. but there are perhaps some differences in how the victims feel about what happened.
I couldn't agree more... I guess i was just thinking that I know that where it's not welcome, and this includes men who were abused by men, women etc.. that it truly destroys lives.... Where it is welcomed there is too great a danger of coercion and manipulation, which is why it's wrong.
I totally agree with you.. and personally I reject any attempt to shut down calling people out on hate speech.. it's a form of manipulation.. they try to make you feel bad.. .i reject that.. if someone says hateful things that are out of order I will tackle it.. and if they make stupid, illogical statements like equating homosexuality to pedophilia then i will call them out on their utter ignorance too..
More people need to stand up about this.. it's not acceptable.. people shouldn't be allowed to get away with it
Agreed. I find it hard to accept or respect people that cannot show respect towards another person because of their sexuality. They don't have to support or approve but should have the decency to show respect towards others as another human being.
Talking about misconceptions, I sometimes wonder how many homophobes have actually known a homosexual person, and found some "hate"-worthy characteristic in them.
Some decades ago I worked as Asst. Manager in a theatre in London, and came across homosexuals among actors as well as among the theatre staff. They were as nice, as cheerful and as jolly people as anyone else.
When an actor, known for his homosexuality, turned 50, he threw a party to which the entire theatre staff was invited; and he proved to be an excellent host, mingling freely not only with his stage colleagues but also with humbler folk like us.
As for limp handshakes, or "camp" postures and gestures, and "darling-sweetheart" language etc., forget them. They appeared just as normal as anyone else.
We are all humans, and we will be as different as people come. Goes for straight as for gay people. Affectionate people will also be found among both straight as gay people. Best we can do is look at each other as human beings. Our sexuality is what it is, sexuality and not defining us as humans. Hmm.
I know the tactics. I've met them, the more surprising it is how they are indignities by me calling them out because of their misconception. However, I'm the one being impolite and disturbing and making prejudice about their Christian lifestyle. Beck me pardon. It's hypocrisy. I'm tired of free speech and PC/anti PC used without giving it more thought. Meh.
Benedict Arnold 