Why the heck was Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall?

"It's not as scary as standing on it."

Little known fact. Humpty Dumpty was actually part of the paparazzi. They hid that fact so people would feel sorry for him instead of disgust that he was climbing walls to spy on other storybook celebrities such as Little Bo Peep and Jack & Jill.

Waiting for further instructions from Trump.

He was trying to get into the US
but Trump blocked his entrance
and pushed him back and He fell off instead

He was a millenial and thought there were free phones up there. But he was too out of shape from playing video games all day to get down.

Element 99, As any conspiracy theorist worthy of his salt can tell you, there wasn’t a wall so there was nobody sitting on it. And there were no king’s horses and king’s men: that was a subterfuge to cover the activities of the President’s hit squad.

It happened like this: 

Senator Dumpty was the Democratic presidential nominee for the forthcoming election and, with his symmetrical good looks and cheerful demeanour, he was far better equipped to sway the adoring TV audiences than the colourless, ill-performed, Republican incumbent, Nicky Trickson. 

So Nick the Trick sent a black ops squad to lure the good senator to the roof of the Watershed Hostelry from which they pushed him. They fully expected that Trickson's spin doctors would persuade the media that poor Humpty had leapt to his death rather than face inevitable defeat at the ballot box.

The horses and men of this sad tale were actually an auxiliary squad who, disguised as an outlaw motorcycle gang, roared up and down the street on their Harleys, keeping emergency workers from reaching the poor man until he had expired.

Speaking at Senator Humpty’s state funeral, President Trixon was graciously about his adversary’s contribution to the nation. "He was a good egg," he said.