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Congruence - the quality or state of agreeing. In psychology this term is used to describe an appropriate and emotionally rational match between facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, the content of what is said, actions, and facts.
Microsignals are usually unconscious: quality of breathing and tension in the skin.
When all of these match appropriately, there is a high probability that what is said is likely to be true.
That is a lot to observe hartfire. I think as is true of everything else some folks are better at it than others. Reading body language et al is not for the faint of heart. Thank you for your thoughtf
ul answer and Happy Wednesday. I gather you are good at it, right?:)
Not expert, no. But I have a reasonable idea what to watch for. Requires at least being able to see and hear the person, but preferably to be actually in their presence.
On aM, I could never be confident. There's a powerful limit to how much one can pick up.
One clue to congruence, here, is how the language is used. How a person uses language says a lot about them.
Another clue is consistency of views across many questions.
Consistency of views. Yes. I depend on that to know whom to delete immediately among my alerts and then those who are left I know I will enjoy. It is not those whose views I disagree with (I have a good friend on Answermug whose political views are the antithesis of mine). It is HOW those views are stated and whether the person can communicate with civility. The ones I automatically delete cannot. They always insult/attack so I have no use or time for them. I do appreciate those who are articulate. I was an English major. HOWEVER I am not a snob nor do I "correct" folks who spell incorrectly. English is not the first language of everyone on an internet social site. Also they do not come here to be embarrassed or put down . We know that the ability to spell has ZERO to do with intelligence. But I believe good manners has a lot to do with intelligence so that's what I go by . As long as I can understand what someone is saying I don't ask for clarifcation. I NEVER correct. But if I am unsure I ask if my understanding is what was intended. Sometimes I don't have a clue and I admit it. I apologize and ask if they would please state it in
a different way so I can understand it. Thank you for your thoughtful answer hartfire! :)
Fascinating that you were an English major. I notice that you don't use formal grammar in the context of this site. The way you write sounds like speech in my mind's ear.
I've been reading an American textbook, "Introduction to Literature." I love the passages it uses to exemplify points - bits of superlative writing. Aagh! If only I could reach that standard! I practice about five hours a day, and am feeling that the process of improving is so-oo slow.
Thanks for being you, Rosie. I love it that you're here on this site.
I LOVE words. I play with them as often as I can hartfire. I have contempt for those who are so straight-laced and anal they jump on other people's errors as if to let us know how very brilliant they are for noticing. I make up words when none fit. I freely admit it. I use incorrect grammar and will spell a word in a way I prefer to make it more visually interesting..for example if I write STOOPID that is more interesting than spelling it the conventional way. It pleases me. Language is for the purpose of communicating. If we can do that then it has served its purpose. There is no benefit to me for always staying inside the lines so I don't. Folks who are familiar with me know that about me. Once years ago someone was saying that those who use big words are being pretentious. I said that I speak on the internet as I speak in real life and doing otherwise is insulting to those who read what I write. It means I think they are not educated enough or smart enough to understand the "BIG" words. I asked why it would be better for me to dumb down than to be myself and use whatever words occur to me? The person backed down. There is nothing wrong with being conventional and being grammatically perfect at all times. It's just not my cuppa tea. I think language is viable and not rigid. I think it should make us smile and laugh and feel good. I think betterer is better than worser. I think gooder is preferable to badder. I say ain't when I know better because everyone else says isn't. And sometimes saying "ain't it a shame?" says far more than saying "isn't it a shame"? And what exactly is the difference in meaning? None. The only difference is form/style Not the meaning . So I frolic about and those who used to "correct" me have finally given up and they leave me entirely alone to do my thing. I could ask for nothing betterer than that! :)! 
Laughing out loud literally. :D
Absolutely love it.
Please consider posting it as a blog so more people can see it.
It's perfectly wonderful!
:)
Thanks honey. That is a swell response and I appreciate it a great deal. Blogging isn't my style. I'm better at one-on-one chats than talking to many. It just does not interest me at all. I guess I'm particular about with whom I talk. I'm no
t putting down those who do write them. It's fine for them. But just as I am not interested in twittering and tweeting and texting I'm not interested in blogging. If folks are interested in what I have to say they know where they can find me. But thank you again for the kind words hartfire. Sincerely, seriously and really! Happy Thursday! ((hugs))
It's not always apparent in the beginning. But generally, time will tell.
Right. When the damage is done! :( Sometimes you never find out which might be a blessing. Thank you for your reply PC and Happy Thursday to thee! :)
