Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» I think truly strong men LIKE strong women. It is only the weak men who fear strong women. And abuse them. Why is that?
Not sure what you are thinking constitutes "strong" men or women. Surely more than just physical strength. We all have different strengths and weaknesses and some or all of either may be attractive to members of the opposite sex whether strong or weak. Ideally we seek to make balance in a relationship so we may seek a partner whose strengths covers our weaknesses. Or we may seek someone of like strengths which are more familiar to us. Most relationships between the sexes are complex dances of strengths and weaknesses - all of them interacting hopefully for the benefit of both partners.
A lot of what we would consider is "abuse", whether from men or from us, is really simply using out strengths to realize what we want from someone else. And can be in the form of coercion because a man is stronger or a woman is more connected thus more powerful. Or persuasion if one or either is a better talker and romancer they are able to sell the other person. I really think it is more than just "strong" women being abused by "weak" men but we can also be taken advantage of, or I guess we can take advantage of others, by superior knowledge or strategy or by our need to be positive and pleasing or by our caring and sympathy for people. So our emotions are played upon to achieve a particular end. Just as we might incite a man to do some particular thing by playing upon his emotions or using a piece or knowledge we have or some psychological techniques we have learned or developed.
I think labeling men as "weak" for a particular behavior is like saying to them OK why don't you pick on someone your own size!. Obviously they are not very nice and are engaging in unethical and criminal social behavior when they are lording it over us just to make themselves feel more powerful. But far as I am concerned I don't care whether abusers are strong or weak but to me they are just jerks. And I think part of what strength is or should be to us is the will and ability to put our having been victimized in perspective so we become stronger as individuals and so we are less likely to be further victimized in our lives. When we understand the mechanism of abuse and where it comes from we are more able to place it in perspective and see that even though we are most likely not at fault still by taking responsibility we give ourselves the flexibility and power of NOT having to have been abused so we can cast ourselves as more powerful individuals and having more control over our lives. I have been victimized but those times made me just more determined than ever to enjoy my life and live it in as full a manner as I am able - if only to not let the jerks get the upper hand!
I believe men who feel secure and sure of themselves are open to a woman who is the same about herself. He doesn't feel threatened by her and vice versa.
If I’m reading your Q literally, I’d have to say I am in no position to know why you think this is so.
The gist (I think) is a query about strong male personalities. To my thinking, a truly strong man is a master of himself, and can abide any personality he encounters without diminishing them or himself. A truly strong character makes those around him better.
A weak man, is one who cannot/will not/dare not confront his weakness, might lash out toward his betters, toward vulnerable individuals, or toward any who ably expose his weakness(es), denigrating and/or criticizing them lavishly to appear falsely stronger by comparison.
This post was edited by Don Barzini at October 4, 2018 6:35 PM MDT
SpunkySenior 