I wonder how many in the military have been RAPED? How many women fear enlisting just because of that?
How many women MIGHT HAVE served their country with distinction in the military but never got a chance because the reputation of men raping women scared them?
I know it's a problem ... but I don't understand how it IS. I mean, the government spends millions of dollars training the women how to fight and kill.
So 1 ... what idiot would think it is a good idea to attempt to rape them?!? And 2 ... why wouldn't they kill their rapist? Even if they couldn't at the time of the attack, they could later.
Is it because the government also trains the military to follow orders without question? Should there be more training on disobeying unlawful orders?
Seriously Walt? The woman is 5' 4" and weighs 110 lbs. The rapist is 6' 3" and weighs 200 lbs. Are you telling me that she can overwhelm him and stop him? C'mon. Get serious. Men are usually BIGGER and HEAVIER than women. Not to be rude or crude but I expect few women who weigh 300 lbs are raped. Or women who are very muscular and work out and are BIG. These rapists target prey they can subdue physically. So say what you said happens. The woman is raped in the military and she kills the rapist. What do you think will happen to her? I'm gonna ask. Thank you for your reply.
If she kills him during the assault ... it is self defense. If it's afterwards ... PTSD.
... and another thought:
Why are women in the military NOT being trained how to deal with potential rape? It's not like we don't have thousands of years of history, teaching us that women are regularly raped during war.
This post was edited by Walt O'Reagun at March 8, 2019 7:31 AM MST
1 - Train for a physical confrontation. 2 - Train mentally. 2a - To prevent being pressured into it. 2b - To prepare to deal with it afterwards (EG: it's okay to report, it's okay to get counseling, etc)
Sharon most of us have no desire to draw attention to ourselves and our misfortune nor do we wish to hurt others. Even if they are pathetic jerks who have taken advantage of us. First time I was raped I was full of righteous indignation and prosecuted and went through the whole business but all I succeeded really in doing was drawing attention to myself as a curiosity which I did not want at all - just wanted to deal with it and get on with my life. I know I could never kill anyone maybe even them meaning me harm because I am just not made that way. Or I like to think I am made for better and more positive things.
The people who you are reporting this mess to are the real enemy. Do you think they are on your side?
They are NOT. Try accusing someone of rape. Go to your local police station and see how you are treated. If you have a lawyer? You may be treated a lot better. If you go to file a complaint? Often times you are the CRIMINAL and the rapist is the victim. They just don't want to have to do the WORK and if it is the GOVERNMENT? You are the enemy. You are accusing THEM of a crime in effect.
They are not happy to see you. Not in any organization and the GOVERNMENT is HUGE.
Yes I agree with a lot of what you have written. Bringing a complaint we are being a drag to and inconveniencing some people which we do not want to do. In the late 70s in Berkeley actually I had quite a lot of support from the police and the community and they assigned me my own policeman who was very supportive and did not treat me as though I were stupid even though I may have been. And my lawyer who wanted me to play it straight and play the victim which of course I was but I did want to do that because was important to show myself that I was above all that and could handle whatever which I guess got me into trouble at the hearing. In those days they could still bring up our sexual past like if we were at all experienced some people would think OK we either deserve it or we should have known better. My assailant got off because I would not say I recognized his face - he had held a bedspread over my face so I couldn't see him. Where I was working as a chambermaid and after he went next door to his room where he was staying with a woman. So I knew was him but had not seen his face. And it created a sensation when I told them f I could have sex with him again I would know immediately. Which they took to mean I wanted to be with him again. But I could have and still after forty years could it left that kind of impression on me.
And I agree with much of what you say. This is why I talk to you. We are both looking for answers. I see you as a really nice person. I see you as someone like My 2 cents. I could live next door to you guys and love you both I'm sure. We are not that different, except how we see things politically.
I respect what you say to a point, but it seems to me to be mostly a point that is derived by reading what FOX news thinks.
They don't have a passing acquaintance to what is really happening and Trump is eating it up because it forces the Nation not to focus on his crimes which EVERY OTHER NEWS STATION CARRIES. There are a lot of NEWS STATIONS besides FOX?
I cannot believe you answered that way. IF I HAD SEX WITH HIM AGAIN? No wonder he got off. Did your lawyer know you were going to blurt that out? That just sounds awful to a jury.
Oh man.
But, the story is HORRID. I am so sorry this happened to you. I can tell you for certain, if it were me? I would have done just as badly. There is no good outcome for a rape victim.
I applaud you for not lying but as you can see, the victim has no friends as a rule. That is why people do not REPORT things. And that is why rapists get away with murder. That is why the Army doesn't want that stigma. That is why the Catholic Church doesn't want that stigma. That is why colleges don't want that stigma.
That is why women are not acting upon the ME TOO movement.
I think we too often live in denial that it could happen to us so we push it away and don't consider that it could. Because who wants to? But I do think we need to find ways of moving through the trauma of powerlessness. Which unfortunately we all do in our own ways if we are going to survive and if we are going to we need to do that. Although I think perhaps we could become familiar with some general ways of handling the trauma and the shame and the hurt so it does not handle us. Few if us will be able to or even want to fight it off. So we have to deal with its consequences. Which for me has meant I have to see myself as being powerful enough there had to be some way I could have avoided it or stopped it. So we have to take personal responsibility even if it is only for form's sake. Because otherwise we only see ourselves as victims. Yes we are victimized but we don't have to accept or limit ourselves as victims.
I recall watching a TV show about one girl who was raped who described herself as a "typical girly-girl" which sort of made me wonder why she enlisted in the military. She wanted to meet men which I guess she met them but it did not go as she had hoped. Most military men I have chatted with on the net have had the utmost respect and love for the women they have served with.
What are you trying to say here? The girl had no business joining the military? Because she wanted to meet men? So what? She deserves to be raped because she was a girly girl?
And lots of men are nice in the military? I would HATE to have you as a juror on this trial.
You are saying that women have to be BUTCH and TOUGH or they get raped in the ARMY? The army is supposed to PROTECT anyone that is in the unit. That is not the WOMAN'S job. Are you serious?
Rape is about power. Being "butch" or "tough" if I understand those meanings will not protect us. Being careful will be more likely to. Whether in the Army or in civilian life.
The ARMY is a government institution that is in its very nature set up to protect the citizens of the United States. If there are not strict rules and guards in place EVERYWHERE and CAMERAS everywhere, then the ARMY is not doing its job.
If she goes out and leaves the compound and walks the streets drunk, that is another matter. I doubt if this transpired. I don't think that is why women are afraid to join because they might display cheap behavior that gets them in trouble.
I think we are coming from the same place. I know you mean that we cannot just act anyway we want and expect life to go smoothly.
But this is an American government institution. It needs to PROTECT. It does not need to allow people to join at their own risk.
But everything we do is at our own risk. We can't just think OK we will be protected and then go to sleep. You are older than I am and I think very few women of our generations even considered serving in a branch of the military. We did not see that as anything we would want to do. But then others came along who did and could cut it so they opened the doors for other women who wanted to serve. And protecting the country is not the same as protecting us from being raped. Which is something different entirely. You know very well the way some men think if they think they have the opportunity for sex with us they will push it because just doing that makes them feel better about themselves and more powerful etc. More singular, more "dangerous". Not all men will be "gentlemen" and some will only when it suits them to be.
Of course we are nor begging for it - but we get attention from men we feel good about ourselves so consciously or unconsciously we want attention which men can misunderstand and misinterpret. which is why we need to learn to be careful ourselves.
Walt O'Reagun 