Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» Do you think forcing children to eat foods they dislike is helpful or hurtful? Could parents be creating food issues like anorexia/bulimia?
While there are kids who like vegetables, many don't. So if you want kids to eat healthy, you're going to have to "force" them to eat something other than candy. I don't think that's creating eating disorders.
On the other hand, I wouldn't doubt part of the cause of our overweight society is parents using food to "shut up" kids. IE: Giving them (unhealthy) snacks to get them to "quiet down" or "behave". Along with having TV "babysit" kids, rather than having them "run wild" in the backyard or playground or park.
My ex-husband insisted our son eat everything. Our son disliked broccoli but my ex FORCED him to eat it. He ws 3 years old at the time! My son gagged and began to turn BLUE. My ex picked him up turned him upside down and began hitting his back till the food dislodged. That was when I decided to DIVORCE him. There are many nutritious foods. If a child takes a dislike to one or more there are others they will like. It is incumbent on a parent to PROTECT the child not force-feed him. Different strokes for different blokes Walt. Different strokes for different blokes. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday to thy.
This post was edited by RosieG at June 14, 2019 2:32 AM MDT
there is a bunch of fat morons online trying to say that making a child eat veggies is equivalent to rape.... i think kids are generally picky eaters and you do have to force them, especially when they're young. otherwise you'll have fat and malnourished children who only want eat mac and cheese and chocolate milk.
Please read my reply to Walt god. Parents are supposed to protect their children not FORCE FEED them so they gag and turn blue. Different strokes. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday to thy.
i don't think anyone is physically force feeding their children..
I thought you meant "eat your veggies or you're grounded" kind of way. i have a cousin that gags when she eats peas, when my brother saw this behavior he was also like "i dont like peas either" until my mom said youre a liar so eat your peas. and then he ate his peas. gag free.
your ex husband probably needs therapy or something because i have never seen or heard of a parent (that didn't have an underlying mental problem) physically forcing their child to eat.
The general consensus among psychologists and nutritionists is that you should routinely offer foods to children and eat them as a family, but not "force" the child to eat them. Taste buds change as we age and children will naturally try the foods being eaten around them on their own if given time.
My parents did force me to eat foods I didn't like. It was often under the threat of violence, though as a minimum, I was not allowed to leave the table until I cleared my plate. As a result, I threw up on a somewhat frequent basis and developed aversions to most foods. I was essentially conditioned to get nauseous and have an emotional reaction to most foods. That also forced me to override my internal mechanisms for fullness. Instead of listening to my body and stopping when I had eaten enough, I became conditioned to eat everything that was on my plate, no matter how bad I felt.
To be blunt, it really messed me up and has had lasting implications on my health and diet. There are still foods I can't even stand the smell of. It took me years as an adult to pay attention to how I felt as I was eating things and not just finish my plate. Even now, I still do it when I'm not intentionally being mindful. This is a common outcome for children who are forced to eat foods they don't like.
I don't think it's linked to anorexia or bulimia. Those are related to how people view their own bodies. Generally speaking, they see something wrong with their weight or shape regardless of their weight or health. I could see how it could relate to them, but I think it depends on how the parents handle it. For example, in my case, it was disrespectful not to eat it all and I was told to eat for my health. If, on the flip side, a child is forced to eat a plate full of veggies which repulse them while being told they need to do so because they're fat... that could probably lead to the eating disorders you mention. It's about the mindset and conditioning.
I also think it's worth noting that, in my opinion, it's far better to teach kids to listen to their bodies than anything else. I have a child who started rejecting fresh fruit and veggies early on. I thought it was strange, but rolled with it thinking she would adapt. At age 9-10, she finally expressed that most of them made her mouth itchy. I took her to an allergist and, sure enough, she has a condition called "Oral Allergy Syndrome." She reacts to the pollen on almost every fresh fruit and vegetable. Imagine if I had forced her to eat foods she was having allergic reactions to all those years! Unfortunately, she learned early on that fruits and veggies make her feel bad and that skewed her diet, so she's heavier than she should be. But, now that we know what her limitations are and what causes them, I'm able to give her guidance on how to fill up on nutritious foods she can have and enjoys. But, at the same time, she's risk-averse. She can usually eat cooked veggies- even the ones she reacts to when raw, but she mentally associates them with allergic reactions. Fair enough. Can't say I blame her. As such, we've started to get creative and have introduced a whole slew of foods into the home that she hasn't developed aversions to and she's become quite an adventurous eater as of late. And, little by little she's going back and trying some of the things she reacted to- the cooked versions, that is. She still doesn't usually like them, but that's not a big deal. She's got a good attitude about it and it and I think that's half the battle. She gets really excited when she finds a new healthy food she can eat.
((HUGS)) At the age of three my son gagged on broccoli and started turning BLUE. My ex husband picked him up turned him upside down and started hitting his back till the food dislodged. I decided to DIVORCE him at that moment! I think forcing a child to eat particular foods is cruel and unnecessary. There are a zillion different vegetables that you can prepare a bazillion different ways. If you love your child enough to bother. I am so incensed with those people who think they are doing good for their kids by FORCE FEEDING them. There are moms who disguise veggies by mincing them and adding them to mashed potatoes or soups. It is so easy peasy to do. IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD ENOUGH. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts JA. I appreciate it a lot. Happy Friday to you! :)
When I was a child my parents constantly forced me to eat foods that I absolutely hated! Other kids were allowed to choose what they got to eat, but not me; oh, no. I only got to eat the stuff THEY wanted to eat. I swear, some of that stuff they forced down my throat was totally inedible (gag!!) If I didn't eat it , I had to sit at the table until it was gone - even if it took until after midnight!!! I remember dreaming of the day when I'd be old enough so I didn't have to be forced fed that crap. No more stupid vegetables! No more meat! No more of those awful fruits! No more cornmeal, oatmeal, or rice! No more juices or milk! No more wheat bread (horrid stuff). Yes, for me that day couldn't come soon enough.
Looking back I can clearly see that what my parents did to me back then totally ruined my life! (child abuse if I ever saw it) I missed out on so many of the experiences that other kids got to have. Other kids got to get fat. But not me. Other kids got to have their teeth filled or pulled. But nooo, not me. Other kids got to get diabetes and fun things like that. But not me,no sir! No, I got to be thin. I got to keep all my teeth. I got to be ultra healthy. Totally unfair!!
Really? At the age of 3 my son gagged on broccoli and turned BLUE. My ex picked him up turned him upside down and hit his back hard until the stuck food dislodged. It was then I decided to DIVORCE him. There are bazillions of veggies and zillions of ways to prepare them. If the parent LOVES the child enough to bother that is. If not then the hostage victim (aka child) must abide by the cruelty of the parent. Hopefully they survive. So I disagree totally and absolutely with you. Completely. My son is very healthy. Broccoli never entered his life again by my hand. I am shocked that you think having been FORCED to eat veggies at a young age is a good thing. Thank you for your reply.
I was being facetious (thus my last paragraph). My parents never literally forced anything down our throats. Yes, there were many times when I had to sit at the table long after everyone else had finished because I wouldn't eat my peas. Not that I didn't like them, but because I could be very stubborn at times. Like any child, I wanted candy, sugar cereals, chips and soda like all the other kids got; not that "good for you" stuff my parents served. But we were very poor and my parents couldn't afford that junk. Looking back, I'm extremely thankful that my parents made us eat healthy, and that we couldn't afford to eat junk food. A lot of ailments that other kids got (then and later in life) we were spared due to our diet.
My default mode is SERIOUS Shuhak. This is a very serious subject to me. If you ever see your child turn blue because your mate INSISTED he eat a vegetable that makes him gag you would understand there is nothing I detest more then parents who demand their kids eat what they hate. Nothing. Been there. Never went there again. I dumped the cruel dad and have never regretted it. My kid is alive and well and grown and thriving. Staying with the idiot macho dude might have had my child's life end differently. Thank you for your reply. Please let me know when you are joking because generally I don't get it. Thanks! :)
I think it's a defect. Everyone else seems to understand when folks are teasing/joking. On rare occasion I do but mostly I don't I was born serious and I guess I will always be serious. Lots of folks see funny in many things. Not me. Thank you for your reply. Nothing to be sorry about m'dear. It's my problem not yours except tangentially! Happy Monday Shuhak! :)
I would not think you would "force-feed" them. But just put what is good in front of them and don't give them any other choices. To a great extent parents by their own behavior and practices are models for children. You can't expect them to do anything you don't do. But children have to be taught right from wrong. Otherwise they will just eat junk. As I did growing up because they did not care. Was years before I was able to know enough to get my health together.
When I was about 7 or 8 we were at my grandparent's house for dinner. My grandfather at an olive (green) and I decided to try one also.
I really didn't like it, and I spit it out.
My grandfather told me that if I could eat 7 of them, I would love them from then on.
I loved and trusted my grandfather, and so I tried to choke down 7 for years, but I never could---I was in my 50's before I realized he was pranking / conning me.
Never did learn to like the green ones; but I liked black olives the first time I tried them on a pizza and I love Kalamatas, period.
This post was edited by tom jackson at June 15, 2019 3:29 AM MDT
I don't know if you read Just Asking's post on this subject but it is heartbreaking. What she endured as a child totally harmed her and damaged her maybe forever. Insisting that all foods be eaten. I just cannot fathom the degree of cruelty that requires. I truly think parents who demand that of their children have a very wide and deep CRUEL streak. It isn't as if there is only a couple of nutritious foods. There are a bazillion. No one has to be forced to eat specific foods because there are trillions of alternative equally healthy foods from which to choose. Of course the parent has to care enough to find out what they are and serve THEM. Few do apparently. It is sickening that they do this DAMAGE to their children and feel so good about it! I guess executioners feel good about their jobs too or they couldn't do them. I always have a jar or two of Kalamatas on hand. Armenians love that and feta cheese. I make Greek Salad a lot. Cucumber onions tomatoes cheese olives and sometimes I shake on a little dried mint. With a good salad dressing! The black canned olilves are okey dokey. I guess we like all olives. But our favorite is definitely Kalamatas! Thank you for your informative reply! :)
I guess if a parent was abused as a child, unless there is a conscious effort not to visit the same horror on one's own children, child abuse tends to perpetuate itself down through the generations.
My parents main contribution was to demonstrate on me all the things a parent should never do to a child.
My boys asked to borrow the books I used to raise them when they themselves became parents---they knew about my upbringing and much preferred theirs---and they wanted to pass it on.
Our dad (I have a younger sister) was pretty much our hero. Our mom did her very best but she didn't make us feel as worthy as our dad did. He was the doughnut guy and she always focused on the hole. If what you did was 99% great it was that other 1% that got her attention. So we were lucky we had someone in OUR corner 24/7. We both take after him outlook wise. We used one parent as an example of how to parent and one as an example of how not to parent. It is said that everything/everyone has a value even if it is only to serve as a bad example. Thank you for your reply E and Happy Father's Day Sunday to thee! :)
Walt O'Reagun 