Of course we can like people we do not love. But how can anyone love anyone he/she DOES NOT LIKE?
What is LIKABLE about motormouth? What is admirable desirable respectable inspirational devotional spiritual authentic? Yet millions LOVE 'em. Go figger!
Loving someone you don't like is arguably simpler--Love is an act we can choose to perform; liking sometimes involves overcoming revulsion, philosophical abhorrence, and other unsavory characteristics exhibited by the "likee."
You lost me tom. I can't even begin to understand your reply. If you don't LIKE someone it is because there is something about the person that repels you. How can you "love" anyone who is repulsive? I'm not being a smart a**. I am very very serious. Do YOU love anyone you don't like? Why do you love whom you love? I will tell why I love. It is because the person is kind honest positive and has traits I admire like being fair and going out of his/her way to be helpful and supportive not because I "deserve" it but because that is his/her nature. I could not love a liar or someone who is cruel or vindictive or derived joy out of harming others. I could not love anyone who ridiculed me or otherwise set out to make me look foolish. You can? It must be a defect in my character. I believe in "do unto others as you would have others do unto you". Treat others as you would like to be treated. But "turn the other cheek"? I have not evolved to that level and at this age I doubt I shall. I love people who make me feel good when I spend time with them. I avoid spending time or engaging with those who me feel lousy or wanting or inadequate. Not that I want to be lied to but those who love me see the best in me and make me want to be better. Why would I want to be my best self for someone I do not like? Sorry for the lengthy reply but I really want to understand where you're coming from and I don't. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday! :)
Friendship and romantic love is usually accompanied on a (neurotransmitter) "storm" of positive feelings that tone feels in the presence of the object of their love.
But love is primarily a choice---an act of the will.
Love involves caring for, respecting, responding to ("responsibility"), and knowledge of the human object of our love. [The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm (1956)---and still in print] And we can even do it anonymously (charities, volunteering).
It's not about how we feel about someone, it's about what we do for that other human being. Like Christ, who desires not the death of any man, but rather that he be converted and live---and who told me (one of those men to do the same (love your neighbor as yourself for the love of God)---I try to follow that obligation.
I detest the principles and actions of the current president of the United States, but I can still love the human being who God created---just like the police can call an ambulance to prevent a murderer from succumbing to his wounds when he is badly injured during his arrest.
And like Clarence Darrow might say, the imperfect human in me would hope that when God plants the flag of truth in his soul---as I expect that He eventually will (in all of us)---that He uses a red-hot poker to do so; but I do not wish him eternal damnation.
And all I can say to prove that the above can work is that I once had a person ask me why I loved them. My reply was, "Because I chose and continue to choose to do so."
And like you, I studiously avoid poisonous people and emotional vampires
---Much like Don Quixote, I choose to love them "pure and chaste from afar."
This post was edited by tom jackson at October 25, 2019 5:22 PM MDT
tom jackson 