Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» Is it harder for you to shake off ANGER or SADNESS? There is a sadness in California that is lingering. Is it still too new?
Is it harder for you to shake off ANGER or SADNESS? There is a sadness in California that is lingering. Is it still too new?
How long a time is it appropriate to mourn a loss that really isn't related to you at all? Some such losses seem to take a lot longer to wear off. Getting through it to the end is awful.
If you're speaking of the mourning surrounding the death of Kobe Bryant, I'm not sure one can derive an answer from this exceptional case.
What has happened over Kobe's life, and especially in the wake of his passing, is he has been elevated to the status of mythological figure.
This is not a criticism of Bryant, as he was an accomplished basketball player who also had success in other domains and who, apparently, became fairly generous with his time and resources for a variety of causes once his playing career was done.
But it appears to me many Kobe Bryant fans, and especially those in media who knew him, have either consciously or unconsciously decided to ignore Kobe's less-praiseworthy behaviors (the sexual assault incident in Colorado being the most prominent example), and completely lose perspective that, in the end, Kobe Bryant's main accomplishment was throwing a basketball into a hoop (or not, as he is the NBA's all-time leader in missed shots). Kobe was well-compensated for his basketball abilities, and was allowed to live a life of privilege and comfort because of them.
Yet his fans and the sports media world treat his passing as though we lost a demi-god.
It is highly unusual for people to behave this way. If you compare the public reaction to Kobe's death to the deaths of, for example, Moses Malone (an NBA Hall-of-Famer with accomplishments similar to Kobe) or George H.W. Bush (the 43rd President of the United States), I think it becomes apparent the mourning of Kobe has more to do with people's loss of Kobe The Mythic Figure and less to do with the man himself.
I am still trying to puzzle out how this came to be and why Kobe became such a mythic figure in many peoples eyes.
No SP. It is the person he became. The great father of 4 daughters who sneered at those who asked if he regretted not having a son. His daughter Gigi(Gianni) was being trained by him to take over as "the next Kobe"! She was offended when someone spoke of Kobe not having a son. She said "he doesn't need a son. He has me and I got this!" You know there was no one more disgusted with him at the sexual attack trial. However he was not that person at his death. I mourn for his daughters. I mourn the loss of Gigi who might well have been as great a woman basketball player one day as he was a man. He spent years supporting the WNBA actively with himself and his money not just his words. I mourn the loss for his wife who suffered through the humiliation of the KOBE he was once upon a time but now when he came into his own as a good human being she is cheated out of living that part of his life with him. Admired by all. If you were a parent you would understand better the grief we feel. He was 41. His daughter was 13. They were on their way to a Basketball practice with 6 others plus the pilot. A tragedy in and of itself. Surely you can understand that. SIGH. Thank you for your reply. The loss of a child is always hard to get over. Other children died that day who are mourned. There is no getting over it.
This post was edited by RosieG at February 1, 2020 6:37 AM MST
Somewhere in the world, there is another 13-year-old girl who has dreams of becoming a WNBA player and who might have the innate talent to make it.
But she's NOT the daughter of Kobe Bryant, and her Mom may be working 3 jobs and so doesn't have the time or money to take her to practices/games/tournaments/clinics/etc. So she'll become a dental assistant, or an accountant, or a grade-school teacher, or whatever.
Or maybe she'll get hit by a drunk driver who plows into the bus stop she's waiting at to go to her basketball practice, because her Mom can't afford a private helicopter.
Is her death any more or less tragic than Gigi Bryant's? Shouldn't we mourn for her family and friends because of their loss? But we won't, because unless we live in her immediate neighborhood or the drunk driver who runs her over does something Florida Man stupid to generate click-bait headlines, we'll never know about it.
This is what I'm talking about when I speak about treating these tragic deaths as the deaths of mythological figures. Yes, those deaths are a tragedy. But they are NOT made any more or less tragic because of the halo of fame surrounding Kobe Bryant.
BTW, if you (or anyone else reading this) would like to do something practical to support the families of the people killed in the helicopter crash besides the Bryants, there is a donation page at MambaOnThree.org
That is ALWAYS the standard typical ordinary off-the-shelf argument others have made. I EXPECT MORE FROM YOU THAN THAT. You are doing exactly what all Republicans do and talk about a "WHADDABOUT" instead of dealing head on with the issue. I am very disappointed that you would resort to that old saw embraced and promulgated by senile eunch senators and all dumb don supporters. YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT and you have fallen into the exact same trap of WHADDABOUT? Sheesh. Seriously? I'm gonna ask a question about WHADDABOUTS? it will not be flattering. Thank you for your reply!
I am sorry if I offended you, it was not my intention.
In rereading the final sentence of my previous post (which I will NOT edit since it is incumbent upon me to admit my errors), I can see now how it could be interpreted as a sneer. Again, I apologize. That was not the tone I was going for. It was a genuine appeal to anyone who might wish to make such a donation.
How individuals grieve about deaths they are aware of is up to them. I, too, mourn the loss of Kobe, Gigi, and the others on board the helicopter in my own way.
But I think we should be aware that our grieving for these people is influenced by the myth-making which has surrounded Bryant throughout his life. I suspect my cynicism is colored by being a long-time Lakers fan and being strongly aware of Kobe's "darker" side as well as his positive accomplishments. Seeing how quickly and thoroughly our Mass Media Culture swept aside discussing the real Kobe in favor of the mythologized version gave me pause, and it is why I gave the initial answer I did. This degree of hagiography is not normal, and I don't think we can draw general conclusions about how people grieve for others they don't know intimately from this tragedy.
SaltyPebble 