Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» Some are easy to please. Some find fault with everyone and everything. I wonder. Are the faultfinders faultless or faulty too?
Being a perfectionist, I might be classified as a faultfinder. Am I perfect? Well of course I am! (hence the name, perfect-ionist).
Seriously though, many times the faults we find in others are the same faults we overlook in ourselves. It's much easier for a person to carp about another's shortcomings than to acknowledge their own. They think it might make them look weak (and no one likes to look weak in front of others).
You are perfectionist about you right Shuhak? Not so much others. I've mentioned to you before my Jim shares that trait with you. I'm so not that. Which brings up a question. Are we BORN that way or are we trained to be that way by our parents? I remember my mom always expected me to get E's (EXCELLENT) for deportment. She said the grades would be what I earned and she knew I always did my best. But she never once insisted I get all A's. So I never felt that kind of pressure. Were you expected to be a perfect child by your parents? I'm going to ask. I bet folks like me drive folks like you bonkers. Except my Jim just accepts me as I am thank goodness and you seem to too for which I thank you. Thank you for your reply.
I've had the opportunity to look back on my life from a viewpoint other than my own. My mom kept diaries. They showed that I was always a perfectionist. I also had the same dislike for crowds, the same social anxiety, the same "unique" sense of humor, as well as the same creatitiviness (imagination). They weren't as pronounced as they became as I grew older, but they were still there. No, my mom didn't push me to be perfect. Quite the opposite. She encouraged all of us to be ourselves. We were taught how to do chores and things, but not to the point of perfectionism. (believe me, my brother is almost an exact opposite of myself.) As I grew I "honed" my perfectionist traits. Not consciously (as in not being forced my myself or another), but in the way I "saw" and "handled" the world around me. my mom taught us to read (or in my brothers case, attempted to teach). I, however, had to do it "right" (with humor, of course). Using Dr. Seuss books only fed my humour and imagination (where as it has a different effect with my siblings). Being a perfectionist, I was careful about everything. I had to make sure everything was "just right" before doing it. Whereas my slapdash brother just dove in willy-nilly.
I was born with these traits. Environment, circumstances, and teaching only served to shape and sharpen them.
Well I can certainly relate to your brother. I'm the slapdash one and Jim is the perfectionist. I react quickly I think quickly and I decide quickly usually. Which means that sometimes I have to rethink and redo but I can't not do it quickly. Trying to slow me down would be as fruitless as trying to rev up someone who is very slow methodical precise. It ain't gonna happen! Thank you for your thoughtful and very illuminating response. It's good to know that you were not pushed to shoot for perfection. That is is something within you that needed no coercion nor was it a requirement. :)
Sometimes the ability to see certain specific faults in others is enhanced by the fact that we are so familiar with those same faults in ourselves that we can more easily and quickly recognize them in others.
Of course, high intelligence and proper education can also make certain faults easy to recognize faults in others because it is so obvious what those faults are if you know what correct behavior is.
HELP! WHOOSH! The sound of what you just wrote whizzing over my head. VASS ISS DISS please and thank you? I don't have a clue to what this pertains...multiple causation differential diagnosis differential remediation?
Is dumb don the result of multiple causation? What kind of diagnosis can explain his creation..differential or reverential or essential? Other than kicking his a** outta office and putting him in prison for the rest of his life what "differential" remediation would be sufficient efficient proficient? SIGH. Thank you for your reply. Now you get to 'splain it to me! :) Gonna use part of this in a question for which I thank you.
This post was edited by RosieG at February 5, 2020 1:39 PM MST
Well, the answer above really pointed to why there may be a perceived discrepancy in some of what I may have said elsewhere.
There are multiple reasons that people do certain things ("behavior is over-determined)---like marry someone. I have mentioned that I had no doubt that my wife was the one for me when she casually and unaffectedly commented while walking by a picture, "That's my favorite Renoir."
But I also married her because I liked and loved her, thought she was very good looking, and enjoyed her sense of humor and her high level of intelligence and her general principles.
So you could say of me that there were multiple reasons (causations) for my decision to marry her---and if you didn't want me to marry her 38 years ago, you would have had to dissuade me in multiple ways and show that I had it all wrong.
"Level of inference just refers to how deep you want to go in determining the reasons that someone is doing something."
And I have no idea what caused Trump---although I am sure multiple mistakes were made in his upbringing. He may well have been born broken as well.
This post was edited by tom jackson at February 6, 2020 10:26 AM MST
Shuhak 