I think there is no such thing as a "bad influence". People don't make people do bad. People help people REVEAL themselves. Right?

All you say may well be true for many or most people. It is not now nor has it ever been true for me. I AM influenced by highly intelligent people who are kind, considerate and willing to share what they know without making me feel stupid. I admire people who go out of their way to help others..especially those who do so at their own expense. I am drawn to people who value honesty intelligence kindness caring and accomplishment. I have never ever been drawn to successful people who did whatever it took to get what they wanted. Money is not my carrot. Success is not my carrot. Fame is not my carrot. What is? Learning about things I didn't know. I have ALWAYS been that person Walt. From my earliest memory I always was drawn to those who could teach me things. Not give me things but teach me things. Most of what others admire adore I don't. I am a solitary person. In many ways I am extremely antisocial. I stay to myself most of the time but when I do come out I only spend time with people who do not waste my time. I don't have any to spare. I ignore more people than I engage with. It is my nature to be very selective. I know what works for me and what doesn't. I mean I look forward to chatting with you even though sometimes you tick me off bigly and I know I do the same to you. But underlying all of it you very kindly share what you know with me and I never feel that you are remotely patronizing. That's true of all the folks I chat with. I expect others are more expansive forgiving. I'm not. I stay in my lane. Thank you for your reply and Happy Wednesday! :)

I think you misread my post.

I was saying that most people ARE influences by other people.

When we are children, we are influenced by those around us ... generally chosen by our parents.
IE: who their friends are, if they take the child to church or other social gatherings, family, etc.

When we are adults, we are still influenced by those around us ... but we choose who that is.

I should state that while I firmly believe there are some people who are "born bad" - I also believe there are those who are "born good".
In both cases, it doesn't matter how good/bad their environment is, they will always be "bad" / "good".

Which reduces us back to the age old question. NATURE or NURTURE doesn't it Walt? Which influence is stronger? You are born with the DNA of RACISTS. You grow up being educated by them about how evil "the other" is. A double whammy. In that case Nature/Nurture are the same. But what if you move out, fall in love with a person who grew up oppositely? No racism no bigotry? Can the love of the person who is your opposite change you? You can't change your nature and you can't change your early nurturing but if you are lucky enough to find someone whom you love enough who can reach you maybe you CAN change for the good. I doubt that a really good person will change for the bad. Of course I can't possibly KNOW that. Thank you for your reply. I believe in a BAD SEED. A very good movie long ago with Patty McCormack showed us that. SIGH. This post was edited by RosieG at February 12, 2020 12:43 PM MST

I can't remember who the killer was, but I was watching a "documentary" the other day of their history.
They were saying the person grew up impoverished, and got beatings for stealing torturing animals.
Then when the person was on trial, they were assigned a social worker who tried to convince the jury not to give the death penalty - because the person grew up impoverished and didn't know better than to rob and steal, and the killing was an "accident".

My first response ... okay, the social worker KNEW the person was beaten for stealing and torturing/killing animals.
How could they say the person "didn't know better" than to do those things, if they had been punished for doing them?!?

I guess the jury thought that, also ... since they gave the death penalty.

Here's what I think about that. Unless people are braindead idiots they KNOW what path leads them to a good place and what doesn't. The MOMENT I am in the presence of seedy people I get out immediately. I do not hang out or wait around. I do it here on Ansermug all the time. I engage ONCE with some people and then if what I get from them is EVIL in my opinion I simply ignore them completely thereafter. No one can force me to stick around anyone who makes me feel nauseated or disgusted or unclean. I think you know exactly what I mean Shuhak. Someone shows up on a thread and starts making suggestive dishonorable suggestions to you what would you do? Retreat and ignore forever more. I have done that countless times for all the years I was on Answerbag and all the years I have been here. The minute I am uncomfy I disappear. Period. Same thing in my real life. I know what I feel. We have talked about this before. I don't hang around "them" or their ilk. Why should I? They have nothing to offer me but a waste of my time. I have no time to waste so I don't. I go where I WANT to go and chat with those I enjoy. Period. Thank you for your reply! :)