You cannot do that. It depends on the group. Some adults can be worse than anything imaginable. Kids at least have the excuse that they are young and may not know any better. But adults have had plenty of time to grow and learn and gain wisdom.
The ones who don't are emotionally retarded children who are stuck in time.
In general. Children. Children are naturally selfish and self serving. There ability to project their thoughts into time and outside their self is limited.
That is true, they are basically little sociopaths for a while, but only because they've an underdeveloped frontal lobe that renders them incapable of following certain thought processes through to their logical end.
Although I have to say, my kid is far more empathetic than I am and many of his friends are as well. I think they're better suited to gauge and feel the stark contrast of right and wrong than many adults despite the cognitive limitations. jmo
This post was edited by ForkNdaRoad at October 7, 2016 3:51 AM MDT
I've been targeted by kids when I was a kid FNR and by adults as an adult and it hurts so much more when you are a child. You have no way to defend yourself or remain behind a protective wall. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday! :)
It's unfortunate, but it does happen. Like I said further below, a lot of that behavior is instilled in them and usually at a very young age either by a sibling or parent. I don't deny that at all, I've witnessed it personally and in each instance you could see the same demeanor in the parent or an older sibling. That's a whole thing altogether. Kids aren't naturally hateful, it's instilled in them by the people they trust most, their family, they lack the cognitive ability to effectively compare / contrast that against other influences not as close to them.
This post was edited by ForkNdaRoad at October 9, 2016 11:02 AM MDT
Rosie, I tend to forget how sensitive I was as a child. I think I blocked it out. I am VERY sensitive and try always to put up a wall. I'm sure it is because of unresolved treatment that I received as a kid. But, I try and forgive anyone who hurt me, because I know I was no saint either.
Thanks for reminding us all that kids are very, very tender people.
I was very badly taunted when I was a kid. It hurts a lot more when you're young than when you're an adult and have built up a defense mechanism. Kids can be vicious. Thank you for your reply Glis and Happy Friday m'dear! :)
Adults. Kids can be selfish or mean, but it's in a "pure" state. They don't generally understand what they're doing when they're brutally honest to whatever. Adults do and they're way more deceptive/ conniving/ backstabbing about it. There's genuine malicious intent behind it when an adult is like that and I think that makes it far worse.
I was a target when I was a kid by other kids and as an adult by other adults and it hurts a he**uva lot more when you're a kid. When you're an adult you have learned how to defend yourself and build up walls. You have no defense when you're a kid. None. Kids can be very cruel and vicious and mean . I have some scars from childhood (figuratively) to prove it. Thank you for your reply JA and Happy Friday! :)
I agree. I went through the name-calling by both groups, but with children they don't always understand the impact of their words on others. Some adults just don't care how their words or actions affect those around them. Children learn by those role models around them.
Don't get me wrong, kids can be vicious, but they don't realize it at the time. There is no buffer between thought and action, they come almost simultaneously. That can be adorable and dangerous.
The only exception to this would be a child who has been trained to hate and harm deliberately.
I beg to differ. Vicious kids do realize it. At least in my experience they seemed very proud of it. As if it were a badge of honor. Some kids are not so smart and simply act out what they see without thinking about it. But some are very devious and purposeful. Sadly. :(
I would be very worried about any child showing signs of cruelty. There is no question kids will often bully each other not really understanding the hurt, but anything beyond that is troubling.
I know where you are coming from, yet I tend to agree with Rosie in that they do know they are doing and just don't care. I think the idea we are born with great empathy and it decreases as we grow older has no basis. My experience says it is quite the opposite.
I recognize they have a limited capacity to project beyond their own world, still that's like saying a wild wolverine isn't a vicious and mean animal because it doesn't know any other way.
When you're an adult you have much thicker skin and can analyze what is going on. My dad used to say "consider the source" which made no sense to me when I was a kid but makes a lot of sense to me as an adult. Some people are just wired that way. As a shy child which I was one has no such ability to think things through. The hurt just comes barreling through without any filters. Thank you for your reply Glis and Happy Saturday! :)
Children learn what they are taught. If their teachers (their parents) act this way, they will not see any wrong in being cruel or mean. I've seen some very mean children tbh, but only have to look at the person they are mimicking.
Kids can be cruel, but I don't believe they have the full understanding of the IMPACT of it until they get older.
Adults on the other hand do have a much better understanding what their actions and words can do to others. If they don't, they are surely stunted somehow.
This post was edited by PeaPod is just popping by at October 8, 2016 2:32 AM MDT
I experienced taunting from kids who knew exactly what they were doing. There was no doubt. They had a full understanding of it. As a shy child I had no filters so whatever they threw at me I got with full impact. I had no weapons to deflect it. As an adult you have the ability to analyze the source and decide whether or not to be affected by it. You weigh it and evaluate it and either dismiss it or take from it whatever might be valuable to you. A child does have that experience so it hurts more. Just my experience PeaPod. Thank you for your reply and Happy Saturday! :)
Hugs Rosie. I was bullied in junior high before I grew a backbone and learn to speak out. And I am sure I wasn't always kind to a few others myself. I agree how cruel kids can be and how much it hurt. But many of us came out of that realizing how wrong that was. At least I did. I certainly was never a mean kid though. I just didn't have much of a filter at times when I look back.
I was a painfully shy child PeaPod and to add to that misery I skipped a few grades in grammar school. So there I was...socially inept partly because I was a couple of years younger than the others (teacher's pet and brain were a few of the nicer taunts) and I was also very shy and wanted nothing more than to be invisible. I never taunted anyone. Never believed in "getting back at" or revenge or retaliation. I just wanted to be left alone. I guess I still don't have a backbone at 78. I just ignore and move on. I don't attack back. It is not my nature to do so and I also don't have endless time to waste on irrelevant things. At 78 time is shorter than it used to be so you become very selective about how and with whom you invest it! Thank you for your reply sweetie and Happy Sunday to thee! :)
Benedict Arnold 