Of course, since I don’t know if the S is her middle name or her last name, I’ll have to start alphabetically by last name. Wish me lust! Here goes the first call:
~
(I know. Randy is not mine either, so quit hanging up every time a Randy or Randall or Randolph shows up on your caller ID.)
~
Wait, who are you talking about? Jane S doesn’t have any children.
~
Good point. I’ll expand the search parameters.
~
I’m patient.
~
LOL!
Does young at heart count?
~
Since I began three days ago, I’ve called about 185 numbers, 20 of which were disconnected, belonged to a new user, belonged to a business, or just rang, spoken with 51 people who answered, been hung up on 36 of those times, left 39 voice messages, had 11 callbacks based on those messages, etc. On the other hand, I’ve been cursed out in at least 9 different languages, 6 gay men have proposed to me, 2 men invited me for rendezvous with their significant others, I have had job offers for carnivals, oil rigs, a telemarketing firm, a drug smuggler asked how big my stomach is, and an obviously illegal kidney-harvesting ring, 16 new restraining orders have been filed against me, a producer of a reality TV show tried to sign me up, and a Tibetan yak farmer tried to get me into an arranged marriage with his granddaughter, she may have been 11 years old or had 11 teeth or had 11 chickens, I’m not sure which.
This isn’t going as quickly nor as smoothly as I thought it would.
:(
Jane S 