Probably because we don't usually say good things about people "behind their backs" that we wouldn't say "to their face".
"Behind their backs" holds the same implication as "back stabbing" ... meaning you are doing or saying something that you wouldn't if the person were facing you.
Allow me to tell you about the backstory to this question. When I asked why we can't be informed when members are banned so we know why they suddenly disappear without a word I was informed by Just Asking. who owns this site and makes the rules that doing that would be like "talking behind their backs". Which is ridiculous. I didn't ask to know WHY someone was banned. That is none of my business. I just asked if we could be informed whom they banned. I talked about Nice Jugs behind her back because we used to chat regularly and I have not seen her here since mid-June. Element also chatted with her regularly and mentioned her missing to me. WE BOTH WORRIED. Other people disappear too. We talk about others when they are not present all the time. Is that "behind their back"? How ridiculous is that! We talk about their accomplishments or their hardships or that we worry about them. So that is why I asked this question. Had I used different words would you have had a different reaction? I'm gonna ask THAT question. Thank you for your reply Walt. Now do you get it?
I would say if you talk about someone in a private chat/message, that they are not included in, that would be "behind their back". If you ask/talk about them in the public area, where they could see the messages even if they don't participate, that would not be.
I would guess if they announced when someone was banned - human nature would quickly lead some to start stipulating WHY the person was banned. I don't see a problem with announcing WHY, either - as it should show transparency that the rules are being enforced equally. And then if not, users could call the owner/moderators on it.
It's none of my business WHY Walt. I am not the kind of person who wants to know personal stuff unless folks want to share it with me. Believe it or not I am a very private person and I will not invade privacy of anyone since I don't want mine invaded. But if folks were to notice my absence and wonder if I were okay that would certainly NOT upset me or anger me. I'd be touched by it. So that's why I don't get it. I think it is arbitrary and nonsensical personally. But then these days what isn't? If folks want to conjure up a why that's their business not mine. I just want to know IF a person is banned not why. Simple straightforward plain wrap. That's me. Thank you for your reply! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at December 9, 2020 8:14 AM MST
Walt O'Reagun 