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I can read between the lines of what you’ve written here, Pal. How many pills should I put you down for? (((Shhhhhhhhhh.)))
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“ . . . the “salesman”, however, always disappears after making the transactions, leaves no trace that gives away his whereabouts, cannot be located no matter what measures are taken to locate him, and has a trail of highly dissatisfied “customers” seeking redress through the courts. Several jurisdictions report instances of this scam, both in the US and foreign countries. He apparently only strikes once per city, then moves on quickly before the gathered evidence can be acted upon. Medically, lab analysis of the pills has shown them to be nothing more than sugar-based and therefore harmless, yet the average buyer has spent upwards of $500 to $850 for the magic bullet remedy in hopes of reversing years of grammatical errors. Investigators believe that the suspect may have a connection to the ominous Grammar Police force, including the possibility that he might even be one of its officers, either actively employed, a former member, retired, or even disgraced and dismissed. His diction and vocabulary, as reported by those he has duped, betray a high intellect, an advanced education, obvious worldliness, and when it comes to female customers, an eerily mesmerizing charm and a dizzyingly flirtatious nature that envelops them more deeply than males. Anyone with information leading to his identification, location, and arrest is asked to call the phone number appearing at the bottom of your TV screen. Authorities are discussing a reward that will be directly tied to information that leads to charges being filed and a successful prosecution thereof.
“Now turning to the stock market; tilde futures remain on a steady uptick spurned largely by a mysterious investor who has poured tens of thousands of dollars into snapping up all available shares over a short period of time. The cash flow seems practically endless . . . ”
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Don’t worry, Babes, you don’t need any pills like that; your grammar is fine. I’ll personally tutor you one-on-one if you have any questions, and of course, in your case, it’s free of charge.
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Shuhak 