Discussion»Questions»Family» While approaching your first full term, did you read "how to" books on baby psychology, or did you rely on your own natural instinct?
During my wife's first pregnancy in 1979, we thought we might pick up some tips from Dr Benjamin Spock. We both felt his book's rightful place was the trash bin, and that's where he was despatched.
I read passionately on every aspect of having babies before conception and during my pregnancies. I was certain that instinct was not enough, especially considering my family background. On holidays in the rural areas of Bali, I observed that all ages cared for those younger than themselves. Boys and girls alike grew up learning the arts of caring, always with adults not far away. What I saw seemed ideal.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at October 28, 2016 1:48 AM MDT
It's a very, very mistaken notion that most people hold, that being a caring person is a sign of "unmanliness" in a boy. Boys are also human, they are also capable of love, and stifling it in the pursuit of some "traditional" social norm inhibits their personality development, doing them a grave injustice.
Agreed. I feel warm and delighted when I see men and boys show their nurturing side: carrying a youngster on shoulders, cooking a yummy, nutritious meal, listening to emotions and experiences, mopping up tears, applying a dressing to a wound...
When I got pregnant, I started reading What To Expect When You're Expecting, I threw it away after a shot while. Nothing was happening like the book said it was supposed to. I realized I didn't need that kind of stress at that time. Those books can really mess you up. Every pregnancy is different and do not follow a stat formula.
The first thing I tell women when I find out they are pregnant is to NOT read that book. :) It will give you nightmares.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at October 28, 2016 3:39 PM MDT
I know it. I remember a friend who was a nurse gave me a medical book when I was carrying my daughter. That thing had pictures of birth defects! It was my first pregnancy and I was young and anxious to begin with.
I know if my daughter were to ever get pregnant, I would do all I could to reassure her and not give her books like that to read.
I was 36 when I had my daughter. I had already seen my friends go through their pregnancies so I pretty knew what to expect, to a point. One of my friends have me that stupid book and like the idiot I am, I started reading it. I just about cussed her out later.
Just Asking 