I'm an extrovert and I constantly hate myself for it, wishing I could magically become an introvert but knowing it was impossible. All my life I've felt like I was annoying, like people only pretended to like talking to me because they pitied how lonely I always was.
I'm going to admit that being alone throughout school [k-12] might've helped make me self-aware, as I always know what's going on with my inner thoughts and feelings. However, since I got out of school and am now even more alone going to college online [as well as seldom leaving the house] I wish I could feel energized from my lifestyle. If I were an introvert, my life would be 100% happy. I wouldn't be lonely, I wouldn't need friends, I would be able to shut my mind off when going to bed at night... Life would be wonderful.
I should probably mention that I don't really have friends. I only talk to one friend online, but she doesn't really like to hang out with me much [she's an introvert with a very busy lifestyle, so she's constantly drained]. So an extrovert who doesn't hang out with people and who doesn't leave the house might just be equivalent to an introvert who can never, ever get a second's peace.
I appreciate them at times. They get me out of my bubble. Which I need at times.
But 90% of the time I find them obnoxious.
They are so loud all the time & as pretentious as this is to say, very shallow. At least they appear it.
They cannot seem to function without other people, & if you’re friends with one they can be unbelievably draining.
Alone means ALONE. Not texting all day just not being in the same room.
Parties, screaming, shouting, needing EVERYONE in the area around them to join in.
The world is made by & for them. Which explains why its a loud & chaotic mess.
Edit: 07/02/23
I want to edit this to say that I was basically dealing with an extroverted friend at the time that was smothering me. It was also summer if I remember right, meaning constant parties, screaming children & everyone outside all the time. I was on edge.
In truth introverts & extroverts are far more complicated than people act.
On top of that various other factors will change which someone seems to be.
For example I know one guy that appears very social. But if you talk with him about things he’s truly passionate about his real self shows. His socialising seems to be manners/duty bound. He’s what I call a social introvert. His nature is introverted but he has developed enough social skills to appear extroverted.
Both have their positives & negatives. Both have their struggles. These will manifest in a variety of ways depending on the individual.
I do think extroverts can be draining. But I imagine many think much the same of us.
But I apologise for how aggressive my original post comes across.
