I know, huh? The market can only bear slight fluctuations in cost overruns before he declares bankruptcy!
~
Said and done! We here at RandCo are pleased to have been chosen to overtake the coveted role of security experts for your complete and utter peace of mind and your sense of well-being. Our CEO has decades of training, hands-on experience, and numerous positive peer-review evaluations in the field, not to mention a vast amount of direct contact with you, the client. His intimate knowledge of your case, your needs, your concerns, your routines, your location(s) are valuable assets in his abilities to handpick new staff, assign teams, instruct the personnel in effective procedures . . . heck, let’s stop kidding ourselves. The 300% monetary increase will simply be entered on the official books yet kicked right back to his pockets, no new employees will be hired, no benefits extended, no supplies or equipment bought, no training courses implemented, just shadowy bookkeeping to make it look as if that money is being spent. He’ll roll all of it into his current and/or future ventures of grammar policing, sandwichizing, sub-basements, Harem-related activities, and especially Minneapolis rendezvous tasks. Your collusion in all of this is greatly appreciated.
~
I concur. Like you, I considered the conflict of interest angle when you first submitted your bid, but it’s a normal thing for my thinking to become a bit cloudy whenever you’re part of the equation. It really wouldn’t do for me to waste good money on you that could be applied to the high costs of defending myself in the Minnesota civil courts, aka Kangarooland, according to my legal team.
As such, you’re disqualified from answering this question. You and I will just resume our cat-and-mouse game of slap and tickle. No sense in ruining what’s already a good thing.
~
Wait a second, you’ve given me a great idea! Maybe you can join my security team! Which position would be best for you?
~
Hey, is this some sneaky way of yours to get to my body? (Grrrrrrr.) You know me; sneakiness is never necessary, lol.
~
Honey Dew 