Discussion»Questions»Human Behavior» Some admire arrogance. They view it as a sign of confidence. Everyone likes a confident person, right? No matter how arrogant?
Kinda. It's not the arrogance they are drawn too exactly. It's like you said, it's the confidence. When people feel powerless and/or clueless they naturally gravitate to the person who seems to have the most confidence.
That sounds very much like, "Cats have four legs. My dog has four legs. Therefore my dog is a cat." While some people admire arrogance, and some admire confidence, some do not.
I completely disagree with thee Didge but so what, right? A table has 4 legs. A table is neither a cat nor a dog. The number of legs is not the issue here. Demeanor is. Where does confidence end and arrogance begin? Can you be arrogant and not be confident? Can you be confident without allowing it to get out of hand and become arrogance? Are you confident? In our brief several chats this morning I don't detect arrogance but perhaps you are good at hiding it. You do seem confident which I like. I like strong, confident, honest people. The wishy washy whiny wimps are not among my favorites. They are too easily led by others and are prone to believe whatever anyone tells them no matter how absurd/outrageous. I draw the line at condescension/supercilious and insulting "I am better than anyone" kinda folks. What about you? Do you like to be talked down to or condescended to? I bet you don't. I don't either. Arrogance reeks of self-importance/self-centeredness/self self self self. Of course it could well be a mask for timidity/fear/lack of self-esteem. Either way I think how we treat one another is very important. Being kind is very important. Being civil if not cordial is also important. Those who are anti-PC are not my cuppa tea. But I digress. Thank you for your reply Didge!
I was called arrogant by a good friend. She wasn't being unpleasant, just descriptive, so I guess I qualify. I try not to let it get out of hand.
But confidence? When I was a teen I was so shy that I kept my mouth shut most of the time and rarely expressed an opinion. Then I met a girl who taught me how to laugh at myself. God knows why she put up with me but she did. These days she insists that she did too good a job of it but if I have any personality at all, it's down to her.
Oh, I have gone round and round with many people on this one, and here's my current hypothesis (with some supporting evidence).
What people call "confidence" they perceive in others has f**k all to do with the actual subjective emotional state of confidence. What they perceive are actually behavioral cues which are associated with high social/socioeconomic status, to which the label "confidence" is attached.
What people label "arrogance" are those same behaviors, but in a context where the behaviors do not seem warranted by other cues speaking to the person's social/socioeconomic status.
So, when the 6'4" former college quarterback-turned-doctor goes up to the attractive woman at a party and asks for her phone number, she looks at him and says, "Wow, what a confident guy!"
When a 5'4" 280-lbs balding assistant manager of a Taco Bell does the same thing, the woman looks at him and says, "Wow, what an arrogant presumptuous jerk!"
Neither of the above scenarios speaks to the internal emotional state of the men involved. The quarterback/doctor may actually be shy and could barely work up the courage to speak to the attractive woman, whereas the Taco Bell manager might believe (however misguided his belief might be) that he's God's gift to women and was completely confident that he'd get a phone number.
Once again, what people describe as "confidence" and "arrogance" have almost NOTHING to do with actual emotional states. They are simply labels we attach to the behavior of others, and our perceptions of those behaviors are influenced by all sorts of things.
Benedict Arnold 