Should we give away our respect or should respect be earned?

Respect should be earned.  Having said that, I think everyone deserves some up front until they've either earned more or facked it up.

Respect is earned, but in general I tend to respect people by default until they give me a reason not to. 

Respect of ones rights and is a given.   Respect for ones ways, authority, and everything else needs to be earned.

Ooh... that's a tough one. Someone asked a similar question a week or two ago and I said that it's a two-way street, more or less, but not the way you defined it. Offer respect first and err on the side of caution in case there's a misunderstanding. "Disrespect" is really hard to define and we all have different ideas of what that means.

But, this is different because it's situational. We have threads here from time to time that turn into a feeding frenzy about what the mods/admins are/aren't doing and my usual stance is to explain why things are the way they are and try to get constructive solutions out of it. When ongoing issues continue or the sides are very pitted against each other, we sometimes hold votes to determine if new policies are in order, but some people even take issues with having site-wide policy votes. I don't know the story over there or what they're doing, but I can say that sometimes being a mod is a danged if you do and danged if you don't sort of thing. You are ALWAYS going to make somebody mad. When you've got thousands of people, on an opinion site no less, each with his own opinion on how things should be, there is never going to be a solution that makes everyone happy. The best you can hope for is to find a solution that irritates the fewest number of people possible, or displeases everyone equally, and help the site stay true to its mission and values. 

Sometimes I have people come here and right off the bat, they say, "This place is great," and I try to gently say, "Hold on... you might not feel that way in a few weeks. We do things differently, but we're not always going to please everyone." If you place someone or a site on a pedestal, all they can do is fall. At some point, they will not meet your expectations. If you expect perfection, you may always feel disrespected when people don't achieve it.  It's like being in a relationship. You meet someone new and they have careful behavior with you and always look polished. When the newness wears off, you realize you have a mere mortal as your SO- sometimes their hair's a mess, they live in sweatpants, and they have morning breath. High maintenance people would call this disrespect- "You misled me because I thought you took pride in your appearance." Others will go with the flow and throw on their sweatpants and be glad for the comfort. 

Like I said, I can't speak about what mods on other sites do- I'm not endorsing or admonishing behavior. But, I think "respect" is very situational and open to interpretation. 

I'll further add that similar complaints have been made about this site. I always tell people to report. I need those reports because the mods and I don't see everything. We can't. I could sit on the site all day and all night and still not see everything. Some people are hesitant to report because they don't want to bother me with things that might not be TOS violations. I say, report stuff anyway. If it's not a violation, nothing happens and you learn to gauge what is and isn't over time. If it is, we can stop a small problem before it gets big. Others don't report because they don't want to be a narc. *shrugs* That's fine, but I'm not superwoman, and I can't fix what I don't see. And, a whole lot of people assume I see everything. I get a whole lot of "JA deleted X, but not Z, so she's playing favorites or doesn't care." No... JA just didn't see Z. 

This somehow turned into a rant. lol  Sorry. Welcome to the scattered brain of an administrator. 

I know I earned the right to BE respected, what you do about your end is your affair.   I control what I can control and the devil take the hindermost. 

i think it should be earned