Discussion»Questions»Human Behavior» Yes or no. Pro or con. Anti or for. How often do you simply not give a rat's a** either way? Do you say so/give the answer expected? Why?
Hmmmm.... That's a tough one RosieG. There are a lot of variables that can constitute giving the expected answer or not. First, it would depend on the topic. Second, it would depend on my knowledge of the topic and third, what the impact it would have on the outcome. Normally, if someone takes the time to ask me a question, I give them at least a wee bit of thought before answering. I figure, it must be important to them or something they believe in. Therefore, it has credibility. If the outcome isn't going to have any impact either way I'll give the answer they would like to here. Why ruffle feathers and make someone unhappy when it doesn't really matter anyway.
If the outcome does have an impact and is important, I'll leave it blank or admit I don't have enough information to answer truthfully. If the topic is something that interests me, I will do further research before answering. That way I can give an educated and answer and back it up.
Thank you for giving the time to provide such a thorough and thoughtful analysis in response to my question Merlin. I appreciate it! I usually say what I think or I won't respond. Doing otherwise would mean I'm lying and I don't do that very well. There are some things I don't care about either way and I will say it doesn't really matter to me which you choose. Since I'm a Foodie I shall give you examples. I will start with the most uncomfortable one. Jim and I were invited to dinner at some friend's of his. They served barbecued salmon. I can't stand salmon. Can't eat it. Can't pretend to like it. So I told the hostess I couldn't eat it and hoped she wouldn't be offended. But I know she was since apparently it was a hugely expensive and impressive salmon. My then-husband went crazy over it! I enjoyed my salad and veggies and dessert. I don't know if she ever forgave me. What would YOU have done? Eaten it? Now when I invite folks over for dinner I always ask "are you allergic to anything or are there any foods you don't like?" That way I know what NOT to serve. Another example. I LOVE cauliflower and broccoli and brussels sprouts and green beans and spinach and kale. Im' OK with corn and peas and carrots but barely. I can eat them. I just don't rejoice in eating them. If someone asks which veggies I prefer I will tell them. I've never tasted a veggie I despised. So I'm pretty safe there. If someone serves raw oysters I pass. I also can't stand tofu. I won't eat it. Innards are not my cuppa tea although my mom used to make calves' liver that was scrumptious! But sweetbreads or brains or whatevers? I'll pass. I like to enjoy the food I eat. I remember my mom stopped by my grandmother's one day after work years ago. Grandma lived two blocks away. My mom ate some dish my grandma prepared that was very greasy. My mom ate it anyway. When she came home she threw up. I would not have eaten it if I knew I was gonna throw up. Did I beat that dead horse? I'm pretty sure I did! :)
Good Morning RosieG ~ What a pleasure to read your examples! Really! The more I read, the more I smiled :) When you and Jim went to his friend's dinner party and she served salmon, I think if you handled it beautifully. You politely told her that you weren't comfortable with salmon. You gracefully ate the vggies and enjoyed the time at their house with the food you liked and that didn't make you sick. It was good you could stand the smell. If you don't like salmon, it does have a very strong odor. I give you two thumbs up for being honest, polite, and not throwing up all over their carpet! I would have done the same thing. It would have been smart of her to ask you and Jim if you had a preference on the food. Having only one entree while serving numerous people you don't know very well, sets you up for a disaster as a hostess. She sounds like she didn't follow the basic hostess rules and she wasn't big enough to let it go. If anything, she should have offered you something n place of the salmon so you didn't feel uncomfortable. I say two thumbs up for you and two thumbs down for her and her hostessing ability. She needed to have a back-up entree. A hamburger, an eggplant, tuna perhaps. Maybe whip together a veggie pasta salad for you... As a guest, you did nothing wrong. Oh, and she definitely needed to offer you a bunch of wine or beer.. what ever beverage of your choice.;) I'm not a big oyster fan myself. I will eat them, but only with tons of horseradish and a pint of beer chaser! It's not the flavor, it's the consistency! I agree with the veggies! I pretty much am A.-O.K. with all of them, too:) Speaking of Grammies, mine did have a rule that I'm not sure I've stuck to through and through. She said, "It polite to take three bites of anything the hostess or your parents are serving. It shows your gratefulness and appreciation for the food offered." She continued with that to say, "It also expands your palette. You shouldn't eat all the same foods but explore others." Now, this is "old school" New England teachings way back from 1912. Obviously, just like the English Language, table manners and rules are constantly being amended. Your mom is stronger than I would have been! I can't believe she was able to hold it until she got home. What a drag!! Sweet... but a drag! Rosie, it is of my strong opinion, you did all the right things, graciously as a guest. Jim's wife on the other hand, needs to read the rules and regulations of hosting a party and how to grow up and treat friends accordingly. It's always a pleasure to read and answer your questions! Keep on asking them. I look forward it. See ya soon! Take Care, Love, Merlin
Merlin 