Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Do people generally prefer to be around those who are smarter than them or those who aren't? What about you? Why?

Do people generally prefer to be around those who are smarter than them or those who aren't? What about you? Why?

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Posted - July 11, 2016

Responses


  • 359

    LOL  i have not been around many people smarter then me...  ;)

      July 11, 2016 8:27 AM MDT
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  • 1264

    I don't see it that way, I like to look at it as different people have different knowledge about different things and we all can learn from each other in that respect.

      July 11, 2016 4:48 PM MDT
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  • I'm not sure about others.

    I think it varies a lot.

    Our relative judgements of self and others

    often have more to do with self-esteem than reality.

    Making these sorts of comparisons is not emotionally healthy.

    If I meet someone who is intellectually stimulating, it excites the hell out of me. I want to be there listening, asking questions and learning. If it's possible to have a mutually enjoyable exchange, I'm in ecstasy. I'm addicted to mental pleasures. Discovering something new gives me a high like a drug.

    If I meet someone who doesn't care much for mental things, I can still learn heaps from him or her. It's an old truism that we can learn from everyone.

    But there is more to relating than brains. Heart is what matters most and everyone has one of those.

    So if it's tin-man, straw-man or teddy-bear, it doesn't matter much.

    It's time shared in company that counts.

      July 11, 2016 10:05 PM MDT
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  • 113301

    Really? Smart people are modest Adam.  The really smart people are humble too.

      July 14, 2016 6:26 AM MDT
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  • 113301

     Everyone I've ever met is smarter than me in some thngs BSurf.  EVERYONE! I like to learn from those with whom I spend time. I also like to share what I know. But I am a perennial student., Always ready to learn and absorb and hopefully grow to be better today than I was yesterday but not as good as I hope to be tomorrow. Thank you for your reply.

      July 14, 2016 6:28 AM MDT
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  • 113301

     I disagree hartfire. It is intellectually healthy to be honest. If you are intellectually healthy it follows that you will be emotionally healthy. Every person I have ever met in my entire life has been smarter than  me about some things. I like to learn from them what I did not know. I also like to share what I know. Reciprocity is important to me. You give and get. It need not be like kind. But there must be an exchange of value or a relationship cannot be healthy., Every day I learn new things. Every day I am a little more knowledgeable than I was  the day before. Every day I look forward to what it will bring and I also look forward to tomorrow.  Nothing emotionally unhealthy about that in my opinion. If we disagree so what? Thank you for your thoughtful reply.                        

      July 14, 2016 6:33 AM MDT
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  • I'm comfortable with disagreeing.

    I think there are Asperger's types who have great intellects, and yet who are incapable of empathy.

    There are people who dive into the world of the mind and become world class intellectuals, and yet are hopeless in relationships.

    There are people who are sane, relatively well-balanced and functional, but who's intellects are fairly average, because they've been too busy earning a living to focus on mental acuity or skills beyond the mundane -- not less intelligent, just less developed.

    I'd love to think I was bright, but I know that I'm dim compared to the real brains. Maybe that's why I think the comparisons are not healthy.

    Besides which, where I live there is not much choice in who I get to call my in-the-flesh-real-live friends. I do prefer company, a little more than just my husband, so I take it as it comes.

      July 15, 2016 6:11 AM MDT
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  • 113301

    I don't believe in competition. I think it brings out the worst in people  . I don't need to be "best". People who compete do need to be "best" and "better than". It is a drive for  being acknowledged as superior to others that I do not understand nor do I want any part of it. I think competition is unhealthy. People do horrible things to win that are ugly and mean-spirited. They cheat. They lie. They sabotage/undermine others. Just so they can "win". Not my cuppa tea. I don't feel comfy around competitive people. Maybe it is related to your antipathy about comparing things hartfire. Perhaps it's the other side of the same coin. The only person with whom I compete is me. I want to be a better me tomorrow than I am today. I have always been that way. Thank you for your reply m'dear!  :)

      July 15, 2016 8:05 AM MDT
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