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Benedict Arnold

How should retired people think of themselves?

Yeah, yeah, I know. I should know the answer to this. But...

I was once in an ophthalmologist's waiting room when a frail old man came in. He said to the receptionist, "I use to be an ophthalmologist." He sounded sad, as though his retirement meant that he was now a non-person.

How do you see yourself? How do you think you should view yourself when your working life is behind you?

Posted - February 16, 2017
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Responses


  • Proud that you made it.
      February 16, 2017 10:51 PM MST
    5

  • I think so, Glis, but some are clearly lost.
      February 16, 2017 11:21 PM MST
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  • 19937
    I think a great many people feel lost in retirement because for much of their adult lives, their identity and self-worth has been connected to what they did for a living.  Unless you have an avocation or something that you really want to do when you have all that free time, there seems to be no good reason for a lot of people to get out of bed in the morning.  I had planned to retire at the end of this month, but I think my firm will allow me to work three days a week and I'm good with that.  There's also the fact that unless you've planned well, your income drops considerably.  Frankly, I've planned well but it still scares the heck out of me to think there won't be a paycheck every two weeks.  :)
      February 17, 2017 7:38 AM MST
    3

  • It's a good compromise. I'm getting a pension. It's not a lot but buys me enough megabytes to have fun on line. 
      February 17, 2017 3:04 PM MST
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  • 19937
    I think it's a win-win for both me and my employers.  If it doesn't work out, I'll just retire completely and find something with which to amuse myself. :)
      February 18, 2017 8:23 AM MST
    3

  • Yeah watching some of my family reach retirement I've witnessed how it can be kinda stressful.  Big life change.
      February 18, 2017 3:45 PM MST
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  • 19937
    It's an enormous change.  One that most of us look forward to and then become fearful when the actual time comes. :)
      February 18, 2017 5:32 PM MST
    1

  • 7683
    I dunno Didge,  it's a thought provoking question, aged people feel unwanted, it's the duty of everyone to respect them to make them feel wanted, maybe age and falling health has its repercussions they seem to forget how successful they were when. young and energetic ........I really can't say much about this topic although it is as I said earlier thought provoking!
      February 16, 2017 11:20 PM MST
    1

  • I disagree that there is a duty to respect old folk. Different cultures, I suppose, but respect has to be earned and not all are deserving. Even so, we all age in different ways and for some the loss of the self-esteem they once had is devastating. It's 10 years or more since I saw that old man but I never forgot his despair at becoming just another old man. I wondered if anybody else had considered the problem.
      February 16, 2017 11:24 PM MST
    2

  • 7683
    Yes, in our culture we are supposed to respect the aged even if they are....ummm not likeable....! Yes,wonder why that ophthalmologist despaired so much?
      February 16, 2017 11:28 PM MST
    1

  • I imagine it comes down to our sense of self-worth. If we spend our lives immersed in our work it's probably very rewarding, but take that work away and there's a vacuum. 

    There's a phenomenon called "post-ironman depression". People will train for more than a year to compete in an ironman triathlon. It takes ALL their spare time and probably needs a fairly obsessive personality to get through it. They complete the race, there are a couple of weeks of euphoria, and then they start to think, "What next?" and the depression sets in. I think the eye doctor was experiencing something like that. After a very successful life he failed to find a successful way to retire.
      February 16, 2017 11:38 PM MST
    1

  • You and i rarely disagree Didge, but I have to say. when you say respect is earned.. this old guy earned his... he did his stint and probably did it well too... he earned a right to respect... and imo young people would do well to respect and learn from oldies.. one of the young's probs is that they think they know it all and they dont!
      February 17, 2017 1:33 AM MST
    1

  • It starts very early, Daydream. I once read a software manual with the dedication, "To my father who gets smarter as I get older." Kids think they know it all -- and sometimes they are smart. Then as they gain knowledge and experience, they can rely on themselves. What you're talking about is the next stage. Wisdom! If we achieve that we stop taking ourselves so seriously. Wasn't it Socrates who said, "The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing"? It's an over-simplification, of course, but if even a Socrates could see limits to his understanding, the rest of us are left far behind.

    And all that's probably off the subject. I'm gonna go and watch a replay of New Tricks. :) 
      February 17, 2017 1:40 AM MST
    1

  • LOL I love New Tricks and it's kinda related isn't it.. they may be oldies and not as fit but they are smart, savvy and KNOW an awful lot.. experience counts!!

    I used to have several sayings on my old monitor when i had a desktop.. one of them was, the true sign of intelligence is being aware of what you don't know.. same thing and I believe that so I am with Socrates on this one.. 

    And to make this Trump related..you know I have to.. there's a man who believes he knows it all, that he's super smart...truth is the opposite and that kinda buys into this doesn't it.. people who think they are ultra intelligent are usually NOT...Anyone who blows their own trumpet and bleats about how oh so intelligent he is as he does is VERY dubious.
      February 17, 2017 1:55 AM MST
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  • B-but, the opposite of smart? How can that be? Why, only yesterday I read that Trump's administration is working like a well-oiled machine. Of course, that was before his nomination for National Security Adviser refused the job. Smart man.
      February 17, 2017 3:06 PM MST
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  • "Fortunate that their journey continues, because retirement shouldn't be the destination, it's just part of the journey."
      February 17, 2017 12:47 AM MST
    2

  • Sure, but the problem is that not everybody thinks that way. There can be a genuine sense of loss -- or, at least, so it seems. 
      February 17, 2017 1:34 AM MST
    1

  • True ... but your question said "SHOULD." I've had more than one friend that retired, went home and died within months. People tend to make retirement their goal and when they get there ... sit down and wait to die. It's pretty sad.
      February 17, 2017 2:11 AM MST
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  • You're right. Sorry. I did say 'should'. I've also known such people, particularly the workaholics among them. And, yeah, it's sad indeed. 
      February 17, 2017 2:36 AM MST
    1

  • Personally I see retirement as a start of a whole new phase, an earned phase where you paid your dues and now you have the right to adventure and do what you want to do.
      February 17, 2017 1:34 AM MST
    2

  • A great attitude, Daydream. Browning, in Rabbi ben Ezra, wrote of "the last of life for which the first was made."
      February 17, 2017 2:37 AM MST
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  • I'm already a non person. When, if, I can retire I'll also be old.
      February 17, 2017 7:42 AM MST
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  • Whistle, it take a sense of humour to hold that attitude and still have a good life. I hope you're smiling. But, yeah, I agree with you: I'm very much a non person. That's OK, I like it that way.
      February 18, 2017 2:56 PM MST
    0

  • I work in food service.  Many days, like today, confuse me.  Am I trapped in a huge rectum?  Has a cow taken a fetid dump on my face? Or am I at work? Fun Facts!  Food service workers have the second highest rate of occupational related depression and the first highest rate of alcohol and drug use! This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 18, 2017 5:14 PM MST
      February 18, 2017 3:41 PM MST
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